There are many moments we all experience in our lives that we think are monumental. As I reflect back there are monumental moments in my life too. I decided to research the definition of monumental when I thought of writing this posting. Here  is what I found.

I often associate this word with something giant that is a marker of sorts in my personal life (Jim’s death, Breast Cancer) or society’s life (Landing on the Moon).  I also feel that small events in my life may be monumental as well.

About two weeks ago I decided to change my e-mail. My previous e-mail prefix was jimjanet. I decided that since change is in the air,  it might be time to create a new prefix that defines me in my current state of life. I changed it successfully, to define myself.

What I thought would be just a quick change in my communication life immediately became a monumental shift. Some of this shift was just the physical change of address. I had no idea how many user IDs and passwords are wrapped up in  my e-mail. I am still working on this angle. 

Then there is the emotional component that went into this change. Wow, my emotions have been all over the place since I decided to take this step. I had no idea that my emotions could be so wrapped around this little prefix. It is probably good that I live alone. I don’t think anyone would be able to tolerate me on a full time basis when this type of event happens. Sometimes I feel like I need to get away from me too. But…I march forward and wait it out knowing that the emotions will even out until the next monumental event happens, no matter how small.

I am also thankful to my close friends near (in San Diego) and far (Philadelphia, NC & beyond). They allow me to vent and share and cry. Then we go out to a movie or dinner and laugh and life is on track again.

I heard someone say recently that after the loss of their partner, first you just live every day. Then one day you noticed that you aren’t just managing to live through the day, you find yourself involved in life again. I am not quite there yet. There are moments of joy and light that sneak in when I am not  looking, yet I feel like I am still mainly living through each day, being thankful for  my house and yard that I am comfortable in, my friends, my cat. These are all reminders of the fullness of life. I am still moving forward, one slow  step at a time.

Joyful flowers in my yard