“Today, I close the door to the past, open the door to the future, take a deep breath, step on through and start a new chapter in my life. ”
The above is a post someone placed on my Facebook page. It is very fitting for my life at this moment in time.
January 1, 2016 began with the emotional sale of my bed.
January 1, I sold my bed. January 2, I am not sure what I will be doing. Next week, I know a little of what I am doing. What is next in my life is still totally a mystery, but here is what I do know. This coming spring I am planning to put my home, Jim’s and my home, on the market. I am getting ready to step through that door. Well, almost ready.
Remember a previous post “Anyone Want a Bed?” After all the emotional trauma, I continued to pursue selling my bed. I had several different offers but it was waiting for Sandy. She and her boyfriend drove, almost 6 hours to pick up the bed on Friday. And what a delightful couple they are. As we walked into my bedroom to introduce my bed to it’s new owners, I became overwhelmed. This couple was so kind, they patiently waited while I shed a few tears and then we got down to business. We dismantled the bed and moved all the pieces to their truck. And just like that the bed was gone.
I know I should tell you it was easy, that I was ready for it go and I am excited to experience what is next. If I told you that I would not be telling a complete truth. Selling the bed has been emotionally hard. I have found myself to be teary eyed and quick to shed a few tears since it left my home. I can’t quite define what this is about. It could be fear of the unknown, the loss of the familiar, grieving for the loss of Jim (just a little), or none of the above or all of the above or something else. Who knows. I will wait it out and know that each day will get a bit better.
I don’t regret selling the bed, I just wasn’t ready for the personal fallout from selling it. Miss Elsie the cat has had to adjust too. Right after they left she walked into the bedroom and meowed a lot. It felt like she was asking where the bed was. Funny she has experienced so much newness since I bought the RV but this one made her uncomfortable. Once I moved the air bed into the bedroom and made it up she has been fine.
As you can tell, I do have a bed to sleep in. And if I find myself not comfortable in the bed, there is always the floor. I have slept there often since Jim died. I once heard a quote “Comfort can be found the closer you are to the ground”. I believe there is validity to this statement.
I don’t find the above to be depressing, it is just honest. I am slowly moving ahead and that is what this New Year is about for me, moving ahead. Step one is the bed. What is next?
Anyone want to buy a Lazy Boy Love Seat?