Last week I spent six days with friend of mine, Mary and her dog, Shay in Idyllwild CA. Idyllwild is in the mountains approximately one and a half hours north and east of San Diego. It is a delightful small mountain town that relies on tourism and second homes. Mary gets to enjoy this town as her first home.
Jim, my husband, was first the Director of Admissions and Records and then the Dean of Counseling at Grossmont Community College, in San Diego County. He had many people working under him. More than half of them were women. I heard many stories about these colleagues of his over the twenty one years we were married.
After his death, six years ago, several of these women stepped forward to support me in this life change. We went to dinner. We went to the movies. We walked on the beach. We talked, a lot. Over time, as expected, many of these friendships have faded. There are a few that remain and continue to deepen over time. I am grateful for these few.
Mary is one of those friendships that started while Jim was still living. Since his death we have met up several times. Over the past few years we have become closer friends. I enjoy spending time with her. We walk, we talk and mostly we enjoy each other’s company. Mary inspires me with her political and social activism. She inspires me with her can do attitude. There is a comfort level between the two of us that is often found in much more mature friendships than ours. In the six days Elsie and I spent with her we did projects (put together a composter, built a raised bed garden, stained boards for her new deck) and boy did we talk. When stupid accidents happened (I am the queen of these), we laughed, cleaned it up and moved on.
I am so thankful for our growing friendship. It is important to me. I like friendships that show promise of deepening and strengthening. I like friendships that make me laugh and encourage me to grow and become more.
Yvonne is another woman I initially met through the college. She and I are tour guides in San Diego. Since Jim’s death Yvonne and I have found time to do “stuff” together. We explore pubs together. There is nothing better than sharing a beer and catching up with a good friend. When I am on the road the phone will ring and there is Yvonne calling to catch up. I appreciate these calls when I am alone out there in the world. Each one means so much. For that moment in time I feel a little less alone. It reminds me I am part of something greater than myself. It is a good reminder.
Today I am thankful for Mary and Yvonne. Today I am thankful for my family of friends.