After a tire check in Guymon, OK, I departed across the Oklahoma pan-handle and ended last night near Oklahoma City. I have spent the last two days riding in the wind. The country in eastern CO and western OK is flat with views that go on forever. As I drove through the National Comanche Grasslands I saw many abandoned adobe homes in many states of disintegration. There is actually a driving tour you can do of these homesteads. These adobes represented the original homesteads of the people who were part of the Great Land Grab. I have read diaries of women who lived here. The loneliness was profound and the wind often drove them insane. I can imagine that after seeing these homes. It was beautiful country but the wind never stopped and neighbors were far a few between. This open expanse made me think about the word vulnerable. I would describe my heart and emotions as vulnerable over the past year. I find I wear my heart on my sleeve. I feel what I feel when I feel it. I can laugh, cry, feel saddness and more any time I want to and it is OK. What I have found is that in this time of vulnerability many people have come forward to love me and help me. If I was protecting my heart this might not happen. I have had strangers on this trip help me with my RV and everything else. I have met wonderful strangers who have given of themselves because I have allowed them in, if only for a moment. This has been a good reminder to me to keep my heart open. I never know what might happen. I expect only good.
Yesterday afternoon I drove into the most beautiful red butte country. I stopped and did a hike up to the top of Gloss Mt. The Gloss Mountains have a high Selenite content that mimics a shiny glass exterior.The hike was a little over a mile and once I got to the mesa it was a beautiful casual hike to the end. The Views continue to stretch forever. I met a lizard along the way but no other wildlife. Definitely a good stop for this road weary warrior.
I have a favorite photo of Jim on my dashboard. I look at that photo often as I drive. Yesterday I kept looking at how healthy he looked when I took this photo a year ago in May, while we were traveling in Peru. It is hard to figure out what happened that he died less than 6 months later. I don’t feel sad or angry or anything except amazed that this could happen to such a healthy man. I still wonder where he went. I ask myself, how did this happen? There are no answers. He was a such a part of my life for 21 years and then one day he was gone. I have memories and photos but I will never here his voice again or feel his touch and that I miss. Now I wander hoping to figure out what is next.Last night I took my first shower in my RT. I went to the bathroom at the campgrounds saw a scorpion on the floor and decided it was time to try out my shower. It worked well and there were no scorpions in my shower. They are some ugly looking creatures And that one made me nervous.
Lastly, for those of you who would like to know, my friend, Sharon is out of the hospital and doing well. Still feeling very thankful for her.