Many of you know that I have chosen to stay put, well mostly, this past spring and summer.
Grief is hard. We know that, we have all experienced grief. Everyone grieves during the course of their life. It could be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, a move or the loss of a body part. No one is immune from this experience. It can consume a person or it can become a teacher. Grief just is. It is not fun and oh my it can be such hard work.
The past 6 months have found me struggling with the whole issue of grief. Grief of the loss of Jim. Grief of being diagnosed with breast cancer. I decided that I wanted to address the issue of my grief head on. I wanted to do this because I felt that by getting through the hard edge of my grief, I could lead a fuller and happier life. Maybe I will be able to figure out what is next if grief steps to the side. With the help of professionals, I went to work. And you know, it seems to be working. I am beginning to find joy and hope in my day. My acupuncturist tells me I am 85% done.
Am I done with the grief process? No. I think I have a ways to go. Yet compared to where I was in March I have come a distance. I still am learning to be patient with this process. I thought, after Jim’s death, that in a few months I would be “over it”. Well this certainly did not happen.
My friends have been ever present and supportive as well. I am so glad that all the people in my life are there. I am glad for all the people I keep meeting. And everyone helps me to the best of their ability. I am finding I have reserves now to help support and love other people. I would not have those reserves without the example of all those who continue to reach out to me and choose to actively be involved with my life.
“My Welcome Party”
My sister, Virginia and I are going on holiday together. On Tuesday I fly to New Jersey.
Thursday we fly to Prague. After three days in this beautiful and historic city we board a Danube River Cruise ship and cruise the Danube for a week. We finish the trip in Innsbruck. I am getting anticipation excitement. As this trip has been getting closer I have found myself feeling joyous and light. About a week ago I woke up one morning and the first thought I had was that this was my welcome party. Therefore the title. This trip represents a mark in my life and in my healing process.
I am welcoming myself back into the world. Instead of grief being in front of me with every step I take I would like to put it at a more acceptable distance. I know that I still have work to do and there will be moments, yet I want to make space for joy and curiosity and happiness. I am welcoming myself back from a hard place I have been and just maybe now, I can make this journey a bit lighter and more welcoming.
Come along if you would like. I will be posting to this blog as I journey through these countries. Hopefully I will have some great photos and stories to share. I welcome you into my world and my journey.
Meanwhile, Elsie the cat will be hanging at home with her house sitter.