I left on my trip to Africa on July 6. I have noticed that when I travel, the rest of my life seems to stop or hesitate, while I am exploring and adventuring. Unless the news is extreme, the headlines slip into the background and I tend to live more in the moment.
Not so, on this trip. As many of you know Jim (my former husband) and I owned land in southern Colorado. I decided a year ago to put the forty five acres on the market.One fall day, I stood on the south end of the property and realized that I could not see the northern fence line. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of acreage I now owned, alone, I realized that I did not want to continue to manage that much property.
With very mixed feelings, the land was listed last November. Land does not move fast in southern Colorado. I thought it would sit on the market for a few years and eventually sell. Not so. Two weeks after I left for Africa, I received a bid on my property. I decided to move forward. With the help of my two realtors, Robin and Rebecca and my real estate lawyer, Christina, September twelfth, I closed on the property.
A young, local couple bought the property and are planning to build their first home. I am happy about this. I knew that when I sold it, I would prefer to try to sell it to local people. Many of the local families in southwestern Colorado cannot afford to buy in this area. As southwest Colorado has become a destination area for many, the property prices have risen and often has driven the local ranchers out of the buying market. I knew it was a right thing to do.
Here is the reality of trying to sell property when one is nowhere nearby: It is difficult and I would not recommend it. In hindsight, to decrease my stress level, taking it off the market while I was out and wandering would have been a much better choice for me. There were several stressful moments regarding this sale. I found it hard to manage everything while being so far away. Having meetings over the phone or on WhatsApp was difficult. I had to rely on people to be honest and truthful with me. I had to let people, I did not know well, manage most of the complexities of the sale. They did a fine job.
I am thankful for my traveling friend, Phyllis, who was willing to listen and support me through this process. She also, graciously disappeared when I had phone meetings. I am thankful for my sister, Ginny, who talked and texted with me. I am thankful for all the support.
Now that it is done my feelings are mixed. The property was Jim’s and my hope for our retirement and future. We were planning to build a home that was unique and different. Instead he died early and the land that once represented hope, now became a dream and a wish unfulfilled. Jim wanted to sell the property when he was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. After much discussion we held onto the property. It represented hope and a future that was yet defined. I told him if the worse should happen, I could handle it. Well the worse happened, and I became the sole caretaker for the property.
We made friends with Ron and Miss Carrie, who leased the property for their horses and mules and they have continued to support and help me manage the property. I hope they know how much I appreciate their caring and support.
Each time I release a part of me and Jim, I wonder if I by letting something go, Jim will move further and further away from my life. That makes me feel sad. He and I were a team for twenty one years. I miss him when I have news to share. I miss him when a big event, such as this occurs. I miss him when I travel. He and I were a delightful and close couple that shared everything. I know I need to move on yet I want to carry him and our time together, forward with me. My time with him, enriched and fulfilled my life. So I wonder…..
Seeing the land go on to the next owner, is important to my own healing. As the closing day came and went I have found that I am sleeping deeper and longer. My breath is easier. I feel a step or two lighter. My stress level is certainly relieved. I hope life will be just a wee bit easier.
I am getting ready to head west (currently in New Jersey). I have more personal issues to address and I have an appointment in San Diego at the end of October. It is time to stretch, yet again and get ready to return to my small RV life. Miss Elsie the cat, of course, returns to the adventure.
I know I will reflect on this whole summer in so many different ways, as I travel west. And, it may be good to travel down to southwest Colorado, visit friends and see the Aspen change.
Janet, I enjoy your posts so very much…. I am a recent widow and dealing with the “now what” phase of my life. You give me hope to try new things. thank you!
Katy, I am so sorry that you are in the “club”. It is hard. I think we all founder our way through difficult times. I am glad I can inspire you. That is all we can do for each other.
I am sitting here crying while reading your latest blog about the land in Colorado. Every day, another thing, another step, another something you shared with Jim. But I know, I feel, that the best part of him will always be in your heart. Love to you.
Thank you Tina. It is because of the support of so many around me that I can take these steps. The good thing about Africa is that I was occupied with other things and it helped me from getting too maudlin.
Congratulations on the sale of you & Jim’s property in Colorado😄See you in San Diego. safe travels.