In the Middle of a Grand Vacation-Life Continues

I left on my trip to Africa on July 6. I have noticed that when I travel, the rest of my life seems to stop or hesitate, while I am exploring and adventuring. Unless the news is extreme, the headlines slip into the background and I tend to live more in the moment.

Not so, on this trip. As many of you know Jim (my former husband) and I owned land in southern Colorado. I decided a year ago to put the forty five acres on the market.One fall day,  I stood on the south end of the property and realized that I could not see the northern fence line. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of acreage I now owned, alone, I realized that I did not want to continue to manage that much property.

With very mixed feelings, the land was listed last November. Land does not move fast in southern Colorado. I thought it would sit on the market for a few years and eventually sell. Not so. Two weeks after I left for Africa, I received a bid on my property. I decided to move forward. With the help of my two realtors, Robin and Rebecca and my real estate lawyer, Christina, September twelfth, I closed on the property.

A young, local couple bought the property and are planning to build their first home. I am happy about this. I knew that when I sold it, I would prefer to try to sell it to local people. Many of the local families in southwestern Colorado cannot afford to buy in this area. As southwest Colorado has become a destination area for many, the property prices have risen and often has driven the local ranchers out of the buying market. I knew it was a right thing to do.

Here is the reality of trying to sell property when one is nowhere nearby: It is difficult and I would not recommend it. In hindsight, to decrease my stress level, taking it off the market while I was out and wandering would have been a much better choice for me. There were several stressful moments regarding this sale.  I found it hard to manage everything while being so far away. Having meetings over the phone or on WhatsApp was difficult. I had to rely on people to be honest and truthful with me. I had to let people, I did not know well, manage most of the complexities of the sale. They did a fine job.

I am thankful for my traveling friend, Phyllis, who was willing to listen and support me through this process. She also, graciously disappeared when I had phone meetings. I am thankful for my sister, Ginny, who talked and texted with me. I am thankful for all the support.

Now that it is done my feelings are mixed. The property was Jim’s and my hope for our retirement and future. We were planning to build a home that was unique and different. Instead he died early and the land that once represented hope, now became a dream and a wish unfulfilled. Jim wanted to sell the property when he was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. After much discussion we held onto the property. It represented hope and a future that was yet defined. I told him if the worse should happen, I could handle it. Well the worse happened, and I became the sole caretaker for the property.

We made friends with Ron and Miss Carrie, who leased the property for their horses and mules and they have continued to support and help me manage the property. I hope they know how much I appreciate their caring and support.

Each time I release a part of me and Jim, I wonder if I by letting something go, Jim will move further and further away from my life. That makes me feel sad. He and I were a team for twenty one years. I miss him when I have news to share. I miss him when a big event, such as this occurs. I miss him when I travel. He and I were a delightful and close couple that shared everything. I know I need to move on yet I want to carry him and our time together, forward with me. My time with him, enriched and fulfilled my life. So I wonder…..

Seeing the land go on to the next owner, is important to my own healing. As the closing day came and went I have found that I am sleeping deeper and longer. My breath is easier. I feel a step or two lighter. My stress level is certainly relieved. I hope life will be just a wee bit easier.

I am getting ready to head west (currently in New Jersey). I have more personal issues to address and I have an appointment in San Diego at the end of October. It is time to stretch, yet again and get ready to return to my small RV life. Miss Elsie the cat, of course, returns to the adventure.

I know I will reflect on this whole summer in so many different ways, as I travel west. And, it may be good to travel down to southwest Colorado, visit friends and see the Aspen change.

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Update-Janet is Camping on the Property

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Janet, walking the ditch.

I thought I would sneak into southern Colorado, yet, I knew the whole time I could not do this.

I spent yesterday and last night with a good friend. Deana was the realtor who helped Jim and I find this piece of land. Now she is a dear and close friend. After shedding many tears she packed me into her jeep and we drove to the property. It was good to have her support.

The Wetlands

The Wetlands

Oh my it is gorgeous here right now. they have had a very wet spring and early summer and everything is green and lush. The natural wetlands are high with cattails and other moisture loving plants. We were greeted by a hawk who flew out of the cedar trees. It is just a pretty piece of land.

I had lunch yesterday with Miss Carrie and Ron of Ron-d-View Outfitters. Ron leases my property to run his horses and mules on. We spent two hours talking and catching up. It was decided by the end of the meal that I needed to camp on my property. Ron came over in the afternoon with his tractor and a major lawn mower attachment and cut a section of grasses down so I could camp in comfort.

Ron carving out a spot for the RT

 

Deana and Ron

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I ran errands. I think I was putting off going there until I had nothing to stop me. Around 3 pm I drove over here and am happily ensconced on the land. I was greeted by the summer monsoon thunderstorms. They remained in the distance yet put on a beautiful display. Then I took a nap.

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I am sitting outside at the moment and am enjoying the early evening. Elsie has seen her first deer. Boy did her eyes get big.

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Tomorrow I am going to walk the property and say hello. It is not the most emotionally comfortable I have been on this trip. In fact I find it hard to be here. There were so many plans involved with this place. They were Jim and my plans. I am not feeling yet whether these can become my plans. I miss my buddy.

I am planning to be here tonight and tomorrow night and then I will be on my way to San Diego. It is hard to believe that next week I will be back at work. Thank goodness I enjoy my work.

I want to thank everyone for their support. I am so glad that I have so much support on this continuing journey.