About JanetA

I am a nomad and adventurer. I used to travel for work now I travel for curiosity and fun. I started this blog when my husband of 21 years, Jim died of cancer on his 60th birthday. I started it because I wanted to have an easy way for my friends and family to follow me as I started a new adventure living in a small B class RV. I have a delightful little Roadtrek that I live in full time. It continues to be quite an adventure.

Alaska Follow-up, Glaciers & Mountains & Ice Caves

Posted on March 31, 2014 by JanetA

Mount Rainier, WA from the plane

If you have been following this blog, you know, that about 2 weeks ago I went to Alaska. It was great. As I reflect back on this trip, it was kind of a gutsy thing to do. I flew there on a whim, to meet a woman I had never met, and travel with her for a week. This could have turned out three ways; 1. We meet and click and have a terrific time. 2. We meet and get along OK but we will never be in touch again. 3. We meet, dislike each other on site and wonder how the heck we are going to get through the week. I am happy to report it was #1.

Machu Pichu

Jane and I had more things in common than we knew. We knew we had the deaths of our husbands in common (though each adventure into this arena is very different) and we both own small, very cute Roadtrek Agile SS’s (RV’s) and we love to travel. What we found out is that the last trip that Jim and I did together, May 2012, was a 15 day tour of Peru. Jane is going on the same trip, with the same company, this May. Small world.

Chena Hot Springs

We traveled together for a week, starting our trip in Fairbanks, AK at Chena Hot Springs. There are no bad hot springs in this world. Some are just better than others. This one was terrific. We had a very short walk from our room to these very nice outdoor springs. And since we were there we could use them any time we wanted. Not bad. It also did not hurt that the rest of the resort was exceptionally nice as well. Nice rooms, good dining and many trails to get lost on. I was hoping for a good Aurora Borealis sighting but it was just so-so. Now that being said, since I never see one in southern CA, it was great. I was expecting colors and waving lines across the sky and that just did not happen. I did, however, see them.

Ice Sculpture

The adventure continued to Fairbanks to see the International Ice Carving Competition. It was so warm that day (42 degrees F) that the sculptures were beginning to melt and the organizers were praying for colder weather. It was really interesting and amazing to see these sculptures. How do they do that? I am not sure. The sculptures came from all over the world to compete in this competition. It was a marvelous thing to see.

Dall Sheep

The next part of the adventure was by rail. We boarded the Alaska RR in the morning and traveled for 12 hours south to Anchorage. It was a beautiful day and the scenery was breath-taking at times. This RR travels down through the Mountains along the edge of Denali National Park. I love mountains. One of the fun facts about this train is that if they see Dall Sheep or Caribou they stop the train so we can get our pictures and observe the wildlife. They did twice on this trip and it was to see the animals mentioned above. Now that is my kind of trip. I just love nature.

Ice Cave

We spent a part of a day in Anchorage, and then flew to Juneau, AK. This is Jane’s home. It is the capital of AK and one of its larger cities. The one full day I spent there I went with one of her renters, Marshall to see the Ice Cave under Mendenhall Glacier. This was the culminating event of the trip. We hiked across a frozen, glacial lake over a section of the Mendenhall Glacier and into the ice cave. It was as if I was in a National Geographic special. I have never seen anything like it. It was even made more special because Marshall and I and one other person were the only ones there. It was one of those unique moment’s in time. It was snowing like crazy which only added to the mystery of it all. I would encourage anyone to go and see an ice cave. It was amazing.

Baby Glacier

Janet With Mendenhall Glacier

Jane was a great tour guide. She had planned the whole trip and it ran like clock work. This is the kind of guide anyone needs. I enjoyed her company and we talked a lot because we had a lot to learn about each other in a short time. It was not forced, just very natural and easy. I hope that we continue being long distance friends and if she is ever traveling the lower 48, I would be delighted to meet up with her and go camping in those cute little RV’s.

Ice Cave

If you would like to view all the photos from this trip click this link.

Alaska Photos

One of the hardest things when traveling is getting sick. I came home with a whopper of a cold. After a week of sniffling around the house I am back to a level of normal. I am not always sure what normal is but I am in there somewhere. I love going away. It helps me get out of my normal life and open up to adventure and experience. I find that in the grief process this helps me so much to lighten up and not have to make decisions, even if it is just for a week. I continue to feel my heart very close to the surface of my life. I am glad it has remained there although that presents its own challenges at times.

I thank all of you for your continuing support. I love that if I don’t post for a while I start getting Facebook or e-mail messages asking about my adventures. It makes me feel cared about. For all of you I am grateful that you are in my life, every moment of the day.

Alaska-Adventure Bound

Posted on March 12, 2014 by JanetA

Alaska Bound

Earlier this week I posted on Facebook that sometime I seek adventure out and sometimes adventure finds me. Well, adventure has found me. I am bound for Fairbanks, Alaska this morning and am spending about 10 or so days exploring Alaska when it is still cold and chilly outside.

How did I end up with this adventure? Last summer I started this blog “Journeys of Thankfulness”. After my second posting I recieved an e-mail from Mike who blogs for Roadtrek, FMCA and newspapers around the globe. He asked me if I would like to be a guest reporter, no money involved but he thought there might be a niche for others in a similar situation to mine (cancer survivor, and a widow) choosing to travel solo by B class RV. After some thought I said yes. I have been posting with this blog as well as my own since that time.

Ice Caves

Enter Jane. Jane lives in Juneau, Alaska. We e-mailed each other our stories and became Facebook friends. A little over a week ago she posted a photo of the ice caves underneath Mendenhall Glacier. They are amazing. I responded with a comment that I wanted to see them. She said come to Alaska and, so I am.

Chena

Since then Jane has been a faithful tour agent and has arranged a trip we are embarking on together. Tonight we meet in Fairbanks. This will be our first face to face meeting. We are traveling to Chena Hotsprings, hoping to catch the Aurora and enjoy a soak. And then the adventure will continue from there. I promise to blog and send photos when I have wifi access.

At the moment I am feeling blessed. Blessed that I am so well loved by so many. Blessed for my health and I am in shape to adventure forth. Blessed because my heart is open for letting others love me and willingly support me. Blessed because Alaska is there, it called (thank you Jane) and I chose to be in the moment and go. Too much fun.

A Morning At The Beach

Posted on March 8, 2014 by JanetA

Crystal Pier, Pacific Beach

This morning, Saturday, I went to the beach. If we were in town, Jim always met up with his running buddies at the beach. I usually would join them about once a month and while they ran I walked. Saturdays were a time of bonding with some of his closest friends. Brian, Henry & Barbara were highly valued by Jim.

Jim. Barbara. Henry, Brian & Karen (Brian’s Sister)

Now I look forward to seeing them on Saturday mornings about once a month. Today I arrived at the beach and no one came. That is OK. It was a beautiful morning, the surf was strong and I enjoyed walking The Pacific Beach Pier to stare at the waves breaking underneath me, the surfers and the day. It was a lovely morning. I had time to think about these three people and how they have affected my life.

Barbara and Henry have just continued to love and support me. I look forward to seeing them and know that they are my friends. I know that I can call and ask them for help if I needed it and they would be there in whatever capacity they could at that moment in time. (I have not done that yet) They are both warm and generous people and have helped me to remember those Saturdays when Jim was running with them. It is a good memory. Any time I think of Jim I see the two of them. He cared about them unconditionally and so do I. They are good people and I am honored to have them in my circle of friends.

Brian was Jim’s closest friend in San Diego. I don’t know what they talked about but they certainly were a good sounding board for each other. They ran, hiked and went to the movies together. Every year they made the annual trek to the San Diego Car Show. I think it is very important in all of our lives to have one person who you can share your inner most thoughts with, yes even guys. I am glad that Jim had a good male friend. I hope Brian knows how important he was in Jim’s life.

Brian was a great support to me in the months after Jim’s death. Shortly after Jim died Brian told me that if there was anything I ever needed, I could call him. Do I take advantage of that offer? No, yet it is good to know that if I needed to, I could call. Why don’t I take him up on this offer, you may ask? I have been discovering that I am quite the handy person and I like figuring out things on my own. I also know that Brian is a busy person and I feel that when someone offers this that I should appreciate and respect the offer and treat it gently and with care. Everyone’s life is so busy and full.

There are others that would join all of us at the beach for the Saturday morning run or walk and I value each one of their places in my life. These three along with Jim, however were the core of the Saturday morning run. I hope they know how much Jim valued their friendship. When we started to plan our move to Colorado the first he said was I am going to miss, Henry, Brian and Barbara. I now know and understand what he meant. I am glad I had a moment alone this morning to value these three people’s place in my life.

Today I am thankful and grateful for Barbara, Henry and Brian.

Jim, Barbara, Henry, Brian – Smoothies

Camping the Big Sur Coast & Friendship.

Posted on March 1, 2014 by JanetA

along the Big Sur Coast

Sometimes I get caught up in my day to day events and feel they are so important and I don’t take the time to be thankful or grateful for this moment in time. Then I find out a friend of mine is fighting for her life and it throws everything back into perspective again. I thought I would take some time out of my morning chores and business and be thankful for this day, my health and remember those who struggle. I decided to write on the blog. After all, it is called “Journeys of Thankfulness”. Although my trip last summer is over, my journey into gratefulness is not.

Janet & Diane at Point Loma

Two weeks ago my friend Diane, from Vermont (remember her helping me to drive across the covered bridges of VT and NH?), decided to escape the cold and the snow and head west to visit me in sunny southern CA. Funny how friends show up at the right times in my life. I have been mostly content with life now, although still missing Jim so much at times. I have been stressed a bit about life and then Diane shows up. People seem to arrived just when I need the company and a boost. I love friends. It is so good to have them in my life.

Beach Kind of Morning

Right after Presidents Day we decided to pack up the RV and drive north to the Big Sur Coast of CA. I have done a lot of traveling alone and I really enjoy it yet it is so much fun to have a good travel companion. Diane and I have had our adventures over the years, backpacking the Rockies is one, and now we continue to find more to do together. The weather was perfect, the scenery grand and the company magnificent. And through all of the activity it also was relaxing. I think I might have sold Diane on RV camping as well.

I had to throw in a photo of a Sea Otter, They are so cute.

One of the best things about long time friends, no matter how far apart we are, we pick up right where we left off the last time we talked or saw each other. And so we did. It was a marvelous 5 day trip of remembered times and creating some new moments along the way. We hiked into the hills, slept among the redwoods, and wandered the beaches and it was so much fun. I don’ think I have laughed so much since before Jim died. I guess I had forgotten how serious I have become sometimes. I need to stop this, really. It is good to have friends who can help you remember to lighten up (and the elephant seals mating on the beach helped too).

I want to thank Diane for coming to visit. It is good to get out of my normal routine and remember how special the world is. I am an adventurer and I love to explore the natural world, books, knowledge, my internal growth and the wisdom of others. It is good to take time to remember and value what I have. I am glad I stopped this morning to remember all of person-kind and value what I have in this day. Today I am thankful.

Today I will call a friend and let them know I remember them and thank them for loving me. Here is to good friends.

Diane & Janet Toasting Friendship & a Perfect Holiday on the Big Sur Coast.

If you would like to see all the photos from this trip here is the link.

Journeys of Thankfulness

An Adventure of Another Sort….The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship

Posted on February 8, 2014 by JanetA

Daniel & Janet
Awards Breakfast

This morning, with the support of my good friend Tammy, we went to the Grossmont and Cuyamaca College Scholarship Awards Breakfast.

You may ask, why was this an adventure? I elected to introduce the recipient of the Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship this morning. I know, I am up in front of people all the time when I am “on the tour bus”, but this is way different. I had to speak in front of people in a whole different way and it took courage for me to do this.

I did well. I reminded myself to do what I do all the time and that is relax and speak from the heart. It helped to introduce such a good young man with an abundance of enthusiasm for his chosen career path. Not only have I gotten to know Daniel a little but now I feel like a bit of Jim is with him also. How delightful.

Tammy, Daniel, Janet

It was also very good to have Tammy with me. She was the person who suggested a scholarship in Jim’s honor instead of a memorial service that even Jim would not have wanted to go to. I appreciate her unwavering support any time I ask for it. She loved Jim and I know she loves me. I could have thought of no one better to sit next to me and take the photos while I presented this award. I am grateful for her ongoing friendship.

Over twenty scholarships were awarded this morning. The awards went to all ages and ethnic backgrounds and they honored many different areas of study. I admit, I was not sure that this morning would be interesting, so I was pleasantly surprised to find myself attentive and interested in this breakfast. It gives me such hope to see so many students moving through adversity of all sorts to get to a place where they excel in their fields of study. These students represent all of our future and it is good to know they are there, interested and actively involved in their pursuit of education and learning. Many of their stories were very touching. It was an honor to be there and to support them and to know that this will be an on-going role for me.

I am going to include a copy of the essay that Daniel wrote to win this award. He is seeking a career in acting. The scholarship this semester was awarded in the Theater Arts. Jim acted, danced, juggled and performed. He loved anything to do with the theater. Next semester it will be awarded to a student seeking a degree in the social sciences. It is exciting to be a part of this process.

Enjoy the essay. I did.

My Dream

I am a Mexican-American low-income student living in the United States pursuing
an undergraduate degree. I was raised in Tampico, Tamaulipas Mexico to Mexican
parents, but my mom had the great vision to give birth to me in the U.S so I could have
more opportunities, and so I was born in McAllen Texas. Her decision to have me in the
States was the best decision she could have make because thanks to that I am now
here pursuing my dream of becoming an actor. I lived in Tampico until I was 18 when I
came to San Diego for my senior year. The plan was to come and graduate to here to
have more opportunities and to decide if I wanted to study in the U.S. or go back to
Mexico. After a year here I decided a wanted to stay, but first I had to ask my uncles,
whom I lived with, if I could stay for college. They said yes, and my parents supported
me with whatever decision I made. I stayed and would later payoff because of my
career choice.

I think that by just being in the United States studying is a great personal
achievement. My family is still in Mexico and I just get to see them during summer and
the holidays, and I think that is the biggest sacrifice I have made in my entire life. The
obstacle of being separate from my family is worth it because I am fighting for my
dream. As I already mention, I want to be an actor and I want to pursue a Bachelors
Degree in Theatre or a BFA in acting. I want to transfer to Cal State Long Beach to get
my degree and keep moving forward from there and start building my acting career. I
still have left at least a year at Grossmont, but looking forward to it to see what other
great acting classes I can take.

Besides of having a full-time schedule; I am in Grossmont’s touring show, which
tours around elementary schools around San Diego. We have rehearsals Tuesdays and
Thursdays from 8 to 11 am, and even though it is early I am always excited for every
rehearsal because of the great purpose of the touring show, which is taking theatre to
the children. I am very proud to be involved in this great project and I try to give my best
everyday even in rehearsals and help my fellow actors with whatever they need. I am
excited to be in this play because it’s my first play ever, but I am especially excited to be
in a play so kids with Mexican heritage can know that there is an opportunity in theatre,
and I wish to inspire Mexican-American children to fight for their dreams.

For the last two years attending Grossmont I struggled with commuting because I
didn’t own a car and took me two hours to get to school. I recently got a car but there
are other expenses that this scholarship would help me with. My parents help me with
what they can, but I will find the way to keep studying here to follow and accomplish my
dream. If I am selected for this scholarship it would be a big step forward in achieving
my short term goal, and help me fulfill my dream and motivate me to keep moving
forward.

Janet & Daniel Officials of the college & the district

To support this scholarship, please make checks payable to:
Foundation for Grossmont & Cuyamaca Colleges (FGCC)
Mention that the contribution is for The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship
Mail contributions to:
Selam Gebrekristos
Scholarship Specialist
Financial Aid Office
8800 Grossmont College Dr
El Cajon, CA 92020-1799
Tax Deductible Contributions per section 501 (c) (3) of the IRS Code; EIN 45-2692818

Hanging Ten

Posted on January 27, 2014 by JanetA

Me at the Mavericks festival

OK I’m hooked. I love big wave surfing. Friday was such a great day. I loved camping where I did. I could walk everywhere and I love that. The first thing I saw when I got up in the morning were the different San Francisco news vans getting set up. Well that was kind of cool and exciting. Then I walked over to the Mavericks Festival. There were big screens set up so that those who were not lucky enough to go out on the boat could watch the contest. There were all kinds of food and beer, of course. People just showed up with their beach chairs and positioned themselves for the day. Everyone I met was so nice.

At 10:30 a.m. I stepped onto the boat. Now here is something to remember. When the waves are big out at the break, they are also big when you are going out into them in a small fishing boat. It was a great roller coaster ride. Thank goodness for bonine.

big wave

Mavericks, the break, is about 2 miles out in very rough seas. When we arrived I was so amazed at the number of people and boating equipment that was there. There were kayakers, a sculler, people on surf boards, private yachts, small fishing boats, rafts, paddle boarders and more. The most important boats there, were the coast guard that kept everything in as much order as they could. The coast guard created a loose circle that all the boats had to go in so that everyone had a chance to see the surfers.

catching a wave

I soon realized that taking photos was going to be really tough. I took a few but then befriended Ben who had a cool looking camera and when he downloads them, will share his photos with me. I was pleased with this arrangement as I could then do what I came to do and that was watch. And watch I did. Even though we were close to the break the surfers still looked so small on those big waves. It was cool.

The waves were 30-40 feet high. I have decided as exciting and fascinating that I find this sport, I personally think these guys are a bit nuts. By the time those surfers are surfing down the face of a wave that big they are going up to 35 mph. Whoa.

The immediate kinship everyone on my boat felt with each other was very heartwarming to me. We were all in this together. Everyone shared talk of cameras, even the professionals. There was always room for one more at the rail. If you were trying to walk and were weaving too much someone gave a hand to help that person out. I enjoyed the company as much as I did the event, if not more. I like meeting nice people and giving them the chance to be nice is good too.

After 3 hours and the final was complete the boat surfed us back into harbor. It amazes me that the kayakers and scullers came out through this break. The day was done. I got in my RT and headed south.

My campsite for the night before the competition

Main judges boat & surfers boat for the competition

Driving RT 1 south of Half Moon Bay

I spent 2 days traveling down Rt 1. What an amazing road. The road between Half Moon Bay and Santa Cruz was gorgeous. It looked a lot like Big Sur. I had never been on that stretch of RT 1. I have now decided that I need to travel the northern part of that RT. I like the feel of independence the people who live in these spaces exhibit. There is a part of me that feels that independence within me as well. And for my friend Zoe, you should see the vistas.

Sunset at Cosanoa.

Hiking at Big Basin Redwoods State Park

The last day of this trip was spent meandering down the Big Sur Coast, one more time. I have not been on this coast for several years and in the past year I have traveled this stretch of the Pacific Coast at least 5 times that I can count. I love this coastline. It never ceases to amaze me. Each time I have traveled here it has been different, I have been different. I really like the fact that I feel that even though it is a long ways from home, I can casually meander the coast in the morning and still get to San Diego not too late in the evening.

Big Sur Coast

Each trip I take is different. Every time I venture out I feel different. This trip was so much fun yet I found that the leaving and the driving north was hard for me emotionally. I felt alone and concerned about that state. What if no one spoke to me? What if I didn’t know what to say to strangers? What if I didn’t have a good time? What if, what if, what if. I find that since Jim is no longer with me I have been having to find a new balance in my life. Sometimes it is spot on and I am good. Then there are times like this trip that I struggle to figure out my place as a single woman in my world and in the broader world. It is OK to be this way, I know this, still it can be a struggle. I am glad to be home.

Every time I’ve traveled the Big Sur Coast I think this bird is waiting for me. I see him in the same spot each time.

sea gulls taking their morning bath

Still slowly moving forward and finding strength.

Surfs Up

Posted on January 23, 2014 by JanetA

There are times in my life that I need to suck it up, be brave and have an adventure. This morning at 7 am, with the help of my friend Nancy, I picked up my RT the RV at the dealer (it needed some minor fixes) and headed north. I drove for almost 10 hours to get to Half Moon Bay, just outside of San Francisco. It is a small and pretty area on the California coast. Today and tomorrow it is going to be inundated with people like me that love to watch big wave surfing.

Yep, I drove all this way to get on a boat and watch these men surf 30-40 foot swells. The competition is at a famous wave break called Mavericks. It doesn’t happen every year. They have to wait for the right swells to come in. This year they are here. Whoo Hoo.

They invite 24 of the top big wave surfers in the world to attend the competition and they are given 24 hours to get here. They come from all over the world. This is so cool. Someone just walked by with a surf board. Cool.

Jim was my heart but he hated crowds. Every time I mentioned Mavericks to him he did not want anything to do with it. Last year I put my name on the wait list for this competition and it did not go. This year it is.

I admit it, I am a closet big wave surfer. I love to watch surfing movies and I love to read books about surfing and I have never even been on a board. So this trip is like a dream come true.

Right now I am sitting in the lobby of the Oceano Hotel, so I can access wifi, and all the surfers and photographers are here. I want to go say hi to them but, yes, even me, can get a little shy. I am enjoying the energy of the moment.

Tomorrow I hope to add some of my own photos. Look for another blog. I was a little nervous about doing this but now that I am here I am so looking forward to it. It is good to get out of my comfort zone. Stretch a little bit, grow a little bit and enjoy the ride.

Look for more by the end of the weekend. Surf On!!

I Am Still Here

Posted on January 16, 2014 by JanetA

Janet in The Slot
Ready for desert season

Wow. I just realized how long it has been since I have posted. Where does the time go? Well we all know where it goes. Life is busy and sometimes I procrastinate. there always seems like there is something that needs to be done first. I am back and my journey continues.

I made it through the holidays. I don’t do much celebrating and haven’t for years. I like the holiday lights and the music. Many years ago I gave up giving gifts. It certainly took some of the stress away. I have to admit I am glad that the holidays are behind me.

Oak Creek Canyon, Sedona

Christmas found me traveling with a group to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. I love to drive distance. I find it a great time to be reflective let my imagination run wild. Riding for 13 hours across the California desert with a group of people was a whole different story. Our morning started early and we got to Sedona around 8:30 in the evening. Whew, long day. The saving grace was that we stayed in the same hotel for the whole 4 nights we were there. It was fun to spend Christmas day on the south rim of the Grand Canyon. At the end it was again a long drive back to southern California.

Here is what I learned from this trip. Even though I have enjoyed the last 13 years of travel, I am done. I am done with stressing about these trips. I am done being tired and not sleeping during the trip. I am truly done with people evaluating me. What does this mean…well, I retired from AFC Vacations last Friday. If I make a commitment to do an over-the road trip now it will be because I really love where I will be going with each company that asks me to do a trip. Change continues to be the theme of my life.

I am still working locally as a tour guide. I love doing the close-to-home work. After 6 hours I can go home to my quiet house and yard. Miss Elsie is waiting. I can get a good night sleep. Life is good.

one of my accomplishments, a new berry lattice

For the last few days I have been thinking about the phrase “random acts of kindness”. I love reading about people who give unselfishly, often at a moments notice, frequently without waiting for thanks or acknowledgement. Not only do the recipients feel good and special but so does the giver. I also feel good after hearing of these moments in time. Then I began to wonder about why we can’t give ourselves those special moments. Would it feel the same? Sometimes I feel like I want to thank myself or acknowledge my own job well done. It is good to take the time for each of us to feel good about ourselves by acknowledging ourselves. I know that each time I accomplish something around the house that Jim would have done, I feel so warm and special and happy. Usually there is no one around to say good job well done, so I say it to myself and I allow myself to feel warm, proud and happy. Even months later when I remember that moment it still feels good. It is a little harder, I feel, to figure out how to give myself a random act of kindness. Even as I write this I am not sure how to do that. This will require a little more thought. What a fun thing to think about.

Sharon & David with David Jr, Judith and Taylor. September 2014

For those of you who have been following me I want to end this post by giving you an update on my friends in Southern Utah, Sharon and David. At the first of the year my long time friend, David finished this earthly journey. He had been sick for some time and after a short time on hospice he moved on. It has been a unique and hard experience for all of us who loved him so. He lived a long and good life and was a mentor to many, including myself. I am so glad that I had a good visit with him when I visited in September. I value him in so many ways and he will be missed. Sharon is doing OK. She has a very strong community of friends to support and love her. And her adult children are amazing. I have been honored to know him for more years than I can count. I ask you to wish him well wherever he is now. Soon it will be time for me too load up the Roadtrek and go visit Sharon.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Hiding, Feeling Thankful & Traveling

Posted on December 6, 2013 by JanetA

Janet Hiking with the Nature Conservancy Spring 2013

I Have Been Hiding.

These past few weeks have been emotionally hard for me. People always say it is the holidays, I don’t really think so. Sometimes there is no reason why feelings appear. I don’t really think they need to be defined. Emotions just are. I am not so fond of the ones I have been feeling. I prefer to think I am progressing and creating a next phase of my life. Yet I admit to wallowing in the past couple of weeks. I have been missing companionship. I also am missing having Jim physically in my life. He always thought and felt I was a good person and I miss having someone support me in this manor. I know that in my growth I should be able to support myself, however, having someone love you and see you whole in their eyes is such a marvelous thing. I am missing that at this moment.

Machu Pichu

When Jim first died I was busy and I chose to continue to be busy most of this past year. Now I am not so busy and I feel that this is allowing my emotions to come forward. Sometimes it just takes time. At the same time I am doing OK. I am not curling up behind closed curtains. I am just laying low. I think that is OK.

I have been thinking a lot about what I need from strangers, my friends, my family and myself. Having gone through breast cancer (being the patient) and Jim’s cancer (being the caretaker) I have been asked what others can do for me. This is such a huge question.

What I really think I need and what I intend to do to help others when they are going through anything hard in their lives is to say “I am sorry you have to go through this. What can I do to help?”

Here is one of my lists of things I never need to hear again.

Any story about anyone’s cancer, especially the stories that resulted in death.
Having someone tell me my HMO is terrible. Both Jim and I have had wonderful doctors and really appreciate the loving kindness so many showed us within the system.
Don’t tell me that if Jim had gone to another medical center he might still be alive. Really? (this one came from a woman who was in the midst of the treatment for metastatic cancer)
I don’t need to hear how horrible the treatments are for cancer. The old wives tales can be horrible. No one responds the same to the individualized treatments for cancer.
“He is in such a better place now.” “He is no longer suffering.” How does anyone know this? This does not help.
“God called him home.” This another really? moment. Jim was an agnostic in this case how could God call him home.
Don’t always ask how I am doing. From moment to moment it changes, just like everyone else.
Don’t keep asking me to tell the story of my bout with cancer or Jim’s. It is painful at times and I want to move forward.

Now the list of things that have been helpful to both myself and Jim.

Anyone who took us out of what we were going through. I have not told you about all of Jim’s running buddies (Barbara, Henry & Brian). These three people were so caring & beneficial for Jim and myself. They treated both of us normal when we all knew the situation was anything but normal. Keeping our normal routines alive helped so much.
Ask me how my life is going, not how I am doing? Gossip is great. Let’s admit it, we all do it.
In the midst of misery ask me to go do something normal, play a game of scrabble, go to a movie, take a walk and anything else that is normal.
If anyone is feeling overwhelmed bring them a pot of soup, clean their house, and just love them.
When I was in the hospital with Jim, friends would check in on the cat…that helped me not worry about her.
The most important thing is to pay heed to how I am doing now in my life. Friendships will bring me out of my current sorry state.

Pismo Beach

Janet & Nancy enjoying TG

Lastly, I wanted to tell you what I did over Thanksgiving. My friend, Nancy and I took my cute RT to Pinnacles National Park. First we went to Pismo Beach and had Thanksgiving Dinner at the SeaVenture Resort, right on the Ocean. It was beautiful and filling.

We spent three nights at Pinnacles National Park.I didn’t even know about this park. It is remote and striking in the middle of so much that is urban. It is close to King City & Monterey. We hiked into caves & around the peaks. there was no internet or cell phone reception and it was so great to have time out. I love beautiful country and being remote. I also love my RV when it is 30 degrees out. I am getting used to this kind of hiking.

Pinnacles

A short tunnel

In the Caves

In November, I posted on my facebook page 30 days of what I was thankful for. Sometimes it was hard. It makes me aware that I don’t always take the time to remember thankfulness and feeling grateful. I would like to think that I may be a little more aware now. Right now I feel a need to be vigilant with these feelings and wait for them to incorporate into my every day life so they become a part of it instead of the exception.

Right now, I am thankful, for this blog, for my friends, for my readers and my family. All of you give me strength and for that I am so Thankful.

Pismo Beach

Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship

Posted on November 21, 2013 by JanetA

Jim at work

I promised myself I would only do this one time around the first anniversary of Jim’s death. I am not going to be like public radio. In case you want to help though it is a worthy cause.

October marked the one year anniversary of Jim’s death. Where did the time go? It feels in many ways, just like yesterday. I know our lives move on but there are many that will carry the memory of Jim with them for years to come.

Jim had a Masters Degree in Counseling. As an administrator he was dedicated to helping college students achieve academic success. He started his career at Grossmont Community College as the Director of Admissions & Records. He ended his career as the Dean of Counseling & Student Services. Over his years at the college his caring and gentle way garnered respect from all he encountered. He was a good man.

Jim spent 24 years passionately assisting students and staff at Grossmont College. He often commented on how the people he worked with felt like family. I can think of nothing better to honor my husband and friend than to help a student through college.

Shortly after his death I started The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship at Grossmont College. One semester this scholarship is awarded to a student in the Arts & Humanities. The next semester it is awarded to a student in the Social Sciences. I opted to have this scholarship alternate between these two majors because the two areas were a major focus of Jim’s adult life. He had a passion for both.

My goal is to continue the scholarship for many years to come. With the help of the Grossmont College Foundation I would like to make this a perpetual scholarship. I need to raise money to accomplish this. If you would like to help with this cause, all donations would be greatly appreciated

Contributions to the Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship Fund are most welcome and can be made as a one-time gift or as an ongoing donation through the Foundation.

Contributions are tax deductible.

Foundation for Grossmont & Cuyamaca Colleges (FGCC)

Mention that the contribution is for The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship

Mail Contributions to:

Selam Gebrekristos

Scholarship Specialist

Financial Aid Office

8800 Grossmont College Dr

El Cajon, CA 92020-1799

Tax Deductible Contributions per section 501 (c) (3) of the IRS Code; EIN 45-2692818

With All my Heart Felt Thanks

Janet

Journeys of Thankfulness

Embracing Life, Traveling in my RV, Feeling Grateful

Author Archives: JanetA

About JanetA

Alaska Follow-up, Glaciers & Mountains & Ice Caves

Alaska-Adventure Bound

A Morning At The Beach

Camping the Big Sur Coast & Friendship.

An Adventure of Another Sort….The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship

Hanging Ten

Surfs Up

I Am Still Here

Hiding, Feeling Thankful & Traveling

Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship

About JanetA

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: