Change-Big Change is Coming

Posted on June 8, 2016 by JanetA

This past Monday, my realtor and I went “live”. My home is up for sale. I have been working on the house since February getting it ready for this moment. My broken ankle slowed the process down for a few months. Now that I am walking and doing better each day, it is time.

Today, Tuesday, two interested parties came to view the house. When I received the first call, I was nervous and excited and a bit anxious and scared all at the same time. There are so many mixed feelings with this move.

Ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer I feel as if my life has been tossed up in the air, like a deck of cards. While I was picking up the cards from this incident, Jim was diagnosed with cancer. Up went the cards again. Eight months later he was diagnosed with a metastasis from the original cancer, up the cards went once again. With his death all those cards have been taking their time coming down. I have been slowly picking them up, one at a time. Picking up each one has certainly been taking time. No set schedule here.

I thought I would sell our home 3 months after Jim died. I now understand that was way to soon. Grief needs time and I needed somewhere comfortable and secure and safe to manage the initial stages of grief and loss. There was nowhere better than the home where Jim’s and my relationship flourished.

Janet driving in the alley in Chicago(3)

Me & the Trek

I have been trying to figure out what is next in my life since Jim’s death. I have been waiting for a grand moment of awareness. It has not arrived. I am going looking for it. Miss Elsie the Cat and I are going to make my sweet little Roadtrek into our home for the next year. It may be longer than a year or it may be shorter but I have decided to go traveling. I love to travel. I enjoy learning and meeting new people and exploring this grand country I live in. And to create some expansiveness, I am including Canada in my travels, as well.

Link to Listing

I don’t plan to set out until the house sells, unless it is on the market for a while. If that happens then I will be heading out before it sells. Maybe I will figure out where I want to live. If not it will be one grand adventure. I look forward to seeing friends, friends who I have known forever and newer ones as well.

The nervousness and anxiety comes from the unknown. It is a little overwhelming to put my trust out there in the universe that all will be OK. I have moved several times in my adult life. Each time has been just a wee bit harder than the last one. I am not sure why that happens, but I do think it has to do with age. Maybe as I have gotten more mature I have found myself more settled with each move. I do have friends in so many places and I hope to meet up with as many as I can. It is time to catch up.

I am getting ready to roll. What should I take? What should I leave? Where am I going? Is this crazy?

Then there is the house. It takes a bit of effort to dismantle a house. I have been in the process of doing this for the past few weeks. I still have a ways to go, yet even this is manageable as long as I don’t get too stressed.

Miss Elsie

And then there are the memories. Sigh. Even this is OK. It can even be therapeutic. And the bottom line here, is I need move ahead with my life. I want to create adventure and exciting, happy challenges. I am ready. Miss Elsie, well who knows but she is coming along for the ride.

Getting ready, change is in there air.

Anyone Want a Bed?

Posted on December 5, 2015 by JanetA

Today I sold my bed. Now that is usually not a big deal. You decide that you want to sell it and you put it up for sale and then it is sold. I wish it was that easy.

Here is my reality. I put the bed up for sale on Craigslist. I have received three e-mails in the past week. Today a very nice woman came to look at it and decided to buy it. I instantly went into a panic. Did I want to sell it? Did I want to keep it? The anxiety is so real.

The ad has been on CL for months. When you advertise something on Craigslist it has to be renewed once a week. I always have the chance to not repost it or to take it down. I chose to leave it up.

So where is all the anxiety coming from? I have always known that I wanted to sell my home after Jim died. I still do. I don’t have a time line. It feels as if something is holding me back and I think it is fear of the unknown. Familiar is comfortable. Unfamiliar makes me ask myself many questions: What do I do next? Do I want to stay in San Diego or do I move somewhere else? Where is my life taking me? Where am I taking my life? Arrrgh, the same old questions over and over. Maybe the only way to figure it out is to take the leap.

The bed is the first big item that I am selling. It symbolizes so much. Jim, of course-something to sleep in-the leap into the abyss. Even though I have been anxious about this I decided to move forward with the sale of the bed.

Into the Abyss

Now where do I sleep? Well I do have the tempurpedic mattress so I am reverting to college days and sleeping on the floor. I also have an air mattress that I can use. I am really fine. I hope the anxiety goes away once the bed is removed to it’s new home.

I read and believe in many of the tenants of Buddhism. Letting go of emotional attachment has been on my mind the last few days. This bed is just an object. If I look at this issue of selling my bed, I really find I don’t feel much emotional significance connected to this bed. With it’s disappearance I am saying goodby to the familiar and those many questions, mentioned previously, come a bit closer to the surface.

And…would you like to know the outcome of all this. This woman contacted me last night and told she is not taking it? Now, though I feel more ready and maybe the next offer won’t be so traumatic.

Anyone want a bed?

Elsie, My Mini-Adventure

Posted on November 11, 2015 by JanetA

my latest favorite spot to hang and sleep

Hi everyone, Elsie the Cat here. Lately I have been quiet and let Janet write all the postings. Mainly it is because I haven’t had much to say. I have been spending my days doing what I do best: sleeping, eating, getting petted and going outside where I enjoy the chase of the lizard. They are one of my favorite preys. I hardly ever catch them but the chase is fun and entertaining.

I digress. On Monday, I am happily laying in my favorite window, watching Janet go in and out of the house & in and out of the house, again and again. Now I was suspicious she was going somewhere but I had no idea that what she was doing would involve me. She has gone places since our big outing over the spring and summer but they have not involved me. I am happy about this as I like my routine. You should try the above sometime. Living is good.

Around noon she comes back in the house, picks me up, puts my halter on and the “short leash”. Oh No, the leash is never a good sign. Next thing I know I am in the little house on wheels and we are going somewhere. What??? Janet could have said something.She didn’t even give me a chance to hide or protest.

This house looks familiar and there are all my comfy items; the sheepskin, my litter pan, my food and water bowls, and one of my favorite toys, Miss Piggy. Okay then, let me crawl under the sheepskin and I am ready to roll.

We travel over hill and dale (I am not sure what that means but it sounds good). For a while we drive quietly and then all of a sudden I am bouncing all over the place. I am not sure what that is about but I am hanging on for dear life, under my sheepskin. When we stop and I look outside I know I am not in San Diego anymore.

the Desert

There are miles of nothing, just shrubs and the wind and one of my most favorite things in the whole world “DIRT”!!! I love dirt, I love rolling in it and becoming one with it’s color. Janet took me to the desert. The wild ride was riding on sandy roads to a perfect camp site. Okay I am good with this.

She hooks me up to the short leash and we go walking. She tells me that the short leash is important because there are coyotes here and I would make a tasty little snack. I don’t like the sound of that. I thought all animals got their food from cans. I certainly don’t want to be anyone’s snack. NOPE!!! I am not sure if I remember what coyotes are but if they will eat me, I am good with the short leash.

My climb up the hill and way down there is the RT

We climbed a hill. The wind was blowing a lot and it was kind of chilly. I thought the desert was hot. Not this time. And there were clouds and did I mention the wind? I could not find one lizard. I thought with all these rocks there would be lizards everywhere. Not one. Where do they go?

After our walk, I was ready to snuggle in and look out at the big wide world from my small home. After Janet fed me I snuggled up on the bed and pretended I was in my favorite window at home.

We stayed there all night. The wind blew and it rained. I was very happy to be inside this little house sleeping next to and on top of Janet. There is even heat here so I could be comfortable all night long. It was snuggly and fun.

I like that this little house on wheels is familiar to me. I don’t have to go through it being a first time thing any more. I am becoming a pro. I am glad Janet takes the time to make sure I am comfortable. The one thing I like about being in this little house and on-the-road is that I have Janet all to myself. We bond. When we are in our “sticks and bricks” house, Janet is often busy and goes out a lot. She hasn’t learned to sleep in the window yet. When we are in the little house, she is all mine. She does go out for hikes and stuff but mostly we hang. I like that.

Because the wind was wicked, we headed to the mountains. This morning we are camped in the oaks. Late yesterday afternoon we heard all this howling. Janet said they were coyotes. They sounded like the neighborhood dogs when the fire engines go by. There seemed to be a lot of them. I was glad to be inside. I have decided short leash walks are better than no walks at all.

I remember that sound they make from this summer. I thought and thought and then I remembered that coyote on the land in Colorado. He was just a little thing. I guess what looks harmless is not always true.

Now I am back home and in my favorite window. I am dreaming of that big land of dirt. Even though I don’t mind my routine, well, sometimes it is OK to jump out of the routine and do something adventurous and fun. I am glad Janet helps me do this.

A rainbow kind of morning

I think I will go to sleep now and dream of the next big adventure in this very small cat’s life.

Elsie At Home

Posted on September 12, 2015 by JanetA

Me & My Sheepskin

Hi everyone. It took a few days to get to the computer when Janet wasn’t looking. It helps when she works 12 hour days. I am not sure what work is but she tells me that it keeps me in the lifestyle I am used to. OK, I accept that.

I now know what home is.

Home is:

where I don’t have to sleep under the sheepskin all day, although it remains close by in case of emergencies.
huge compared to the little home on wheels I have been in for the past almost 4 months.
where I can go outside during the day without a leash. Yes I do still have to wear my halter and yes I do have to come in before dark each night. I am not sure why I have to do this, but if it lets me go outside without a leash, I’m good.
filled with windows I can look out anytime I want to.
stationary.
quiet. There are not as many visitors. A lot of people want to look inside my little mobile home. Then they stay around and talk. I don’t know why they all do this yet Janet seems to like talking to all those strangers.

I have had some grand adventures on this trip. Did you know I got away twice? It was after dark and there was big woods all around. I would have really liked exploring but the first time I heard fear in Janet’s voice. Since I kind of like her when she called and clapped three whole times I ran into the RT. The second time it was really foggy and I could have gone far but a big truck drove up the road and scared me and I ran into the RV. That little home on wheels is one of my safe places.

Here are some of the highlights of my trip.

I stayed in two houses, and two hotels.
I saw lots and lots of water. Big water and little water. Some tasted kind of salty. Some had waves (that is what Janet called it). Waves scared me.
At the very beginning of my trip I saw horses. And…they were right behind my little house. I stayed under the sheepskin for almost four whole days!!!

Oh no, more horses

I met three other kitties on this trip and three dogs.
I went to Canada where I learned to speak French, “juste un pue”.
I met a lot of wild life, birds and animals. They were all interesting and I really liked the ones that moved fast. I would have really like to have met some of them quite a bit closer but Janet said no. What a spoil sport.
On “The Land”

I liked going out on my leash. Every place we stayed was different. I really liked the quiet ones where it was just us. One of the last places we stayed was on “the land”. I am not sure what that means. We were the only ones there and the grasses were super tall and I got to explore in them with my leash. It was fun.
Watching the fish in the water at the Lake in NJ was very entertaining.
Chippies…Squirrels….Birds…….well you get the idea.
I finally got to see a coyote. Janet says I can’t go out after dark because of coyotes. This one did not look threatening. She says they are wiley. I am not sure what that means. They have big voice and yip a bunch. I guess I better stay away from that one.

Janet and I spent quality time together. I liked talking to her and snuggling up next to her on cool nights.
I liked riding on the dashboard. I got to see a lot. I tried to not be a back-seat-driver.

I was in 22 states and 4 provinces. That is a lot for a little six pound kitty like me. Just call me, Miss Elsie-Adventure Kitty.

I like both my houses but the big stationary one, is still my favorite. The little one on wheels is also kind of fun and I like being on an adventure. The more I travel in it the more fun it becomes. And I like seeing all the places and animals and “stuff”.

Janet tells me my adventures are not over yet. Hmm, I wonder what that means?

Elsie At Home

Posted on September 12, 2015 by JanetA

Me & My Sheepskin

I now know what home is.

Home is:

where I don’t have to sleep under the sheepskin all day, although it remains close by in case of emergencies.
huge compared to the little home on wheels I have been in for the past almost 4 months.
where I can go outside during the day without a leash. Yes I do still have to wear my halter and yes I do have to come in before dark each night. I am not sure why I have to do this, but if it lets me go outside without a leash, I’m good.
filled with windows I can look out anytime I want to.
stationary.
quiet. There are not as many visitors. A lot of people want to look inside my little mobile home. Then they stay around and talk. I don’t know why they all do this yet Janet seems to like talking to all those strangers.

Here are some of the highlights of my trip.

I stayed in two houses, and two hotels.
I saw lots and lots of water. Big water and little water. Some tasted kind of salty. Some had waves (that is what Janet called it). Waves scared me.
Oh No, More Horses

At the very beginning of my trip I saw horses. And…they were right behind my little house. I stayed under the sheepskin for almost four whole days!!!
I met three other kitties on this trip and three dogs.
I went to Canada where I learned to speak French, “juste un pue”.
I met a lot of wild life, birds and animals. They were all interesting and I really liked the ones that moved fast. I would have really like to have met some of them quite a bit closer but Janet said no. What a spoil sport.
On “The Land”

I liked going out on my leash. Every place we stayed was different. I really liked the quiet ones where it was just us. One of the last places we stayed was on “the land”. I am not sure what that means. We were the only ones there and the grasses were super tall and I got to explore in them with my leash. It was fun.
Watching the fish in the water at the Lake in NJ was very entertaining.
Chippies…Squirrels….Birds…….well you get the idea.
I finally got to see a coyote. Janet says I can’t go out after dark because of coyotes. This one did not look threatening. She says they are wiley. I am not sure what that means. They have big voice and yip a bunch. I guess I better stay away from that one.
Janet and I spent quality time together. I liked talking to her and snuggling up next to her on cool nights.
I liked riding on the dashboard. I got to see a lot. I tried to not be a back-seat-driver.
I was in 22 states and 4 provinces. That is a lot for a little six pound kitty like me. Just call me, Miss Elsie-Adventure Kitty.

Janet tells me my adventures are not over yet. Hmm, I wonder what that means?

Elsie’s Blog Post

Posted on June 8, 2015 by JanetA

Elsie Venturing Outside.

Hi, I am Elsie the cat. I am on a grand adventure. I have traveled through 9 states already and am still going. I have seen things a kitty could never imagine.

I am riding in this small and comfortable house. It moves around. I am a little nervous about it moving but when it stops I get to do some things I love.

During the driving part I sleep under the blankets. I feel safest there. As you can tell, I haven’t really seen a lot of those states I have traveled through.

I am getting brave enough to go out on a leash. I know where the door is and am beginning to ask, politely of course, to go out when we camp for the night.

Here are things that scare me.

People I don’t know. That is just about everyone.
Janet inviting people to see her RT. They come inside and I hide.
Big animals. For 2 nights I saw horses and mules right outside the house. They scared me A Lot!!! I couldn’t take my eyes off them, though. When the mules talked I hid.
Dogs.
Sudden movements.
Big bodies of water. Janet takes me down to the edge of them but I run. Where the heck did all that water come from?

OMG Big Animals!!!

Another Point of View

Hiding

Here are the things that make me more comfortable.

My stuffed toy. I like to carry it around.
Being fed.
Going outside when it is quiet. I was tracking a mouse about 2 weeks ago.
Knowing my new house is close by in case I get scared.

Soaking up the Rays

Laying in the front window and soaking up the rays. Vitamin D is good.
Getting a skritch when I want one.
Sleeping
Hanging out with Janet and trying to guess where we are going next.

I am now in North Carolina. For the past 4 nights I have been staying in a house. Janet’s friend Zoe offered us her house. I really like it. There is a giant screened in front porch and I can go out there and look around. No collar, no leash, just me. Sweet!!! I get to watch birds and try to stalk them. Darn that screen for being in the way. I am suspicious though that this is not going to last. I saw Janet spending time cleaning her RV yesterday. She doesn’t know I was peeking through the blinds.

I have become quite the traveling kitty. I am not fearless yet, but I am working on it.

“Squirrel”

Hanging out in the National Forest Campground.

Getting Ready To Roll

Posted on May 7, 2015 by JanetA

Two summers ago I began a new adventure in travel. I bought my cute little Roadtrek RV and traveled the United States for two and a half months. I felt a strong pull to visit as many of the people that supported Jim and myself through three plus years of struggle. I wanted to thank those people for their support and have fun and some adventure along the way. It was a marvelous summer.

Little did I know that this journey would contine on past my travels that summer in my RV. I have been overwhelmed at times and continuously grateful for the ongoing support of all those friends, near and far, older and newer that have continued to love and support me as I have traveled through the uncharted territory of grief. I am blessed.

In two weeks I am packing up my RV and traveling to the east coast and beyond. I am planning to be on-the-road for about three months. Where am I going this time?

I have a date to ride in the Hells A’Roaring Horse Round-up in Gardiner, MT May 21-23. I am so excited about this. I love to ride horses and you know even though Jim was not fond of horses, he would have done this. Oh my, he did try so hard when it came to horses, yet I know that he was not fond of this activity. It did not stop him from trying. Hmm…there might be a lesson here somewhere.

After spending time in Yellowstone National Park and Montana, I am driving east. When I began to plan my departure, I knew I was attending the wedding of my niece, in July, in Connecticut. Now good friends are getting married in June in North Carolina. If you have been following my blog you may remember my visit to Zoe and Kay in North Carolina in 2013. In early June they are getting married. I am ready for a grand celebration. Does anyone else want to get married while I am traveling? Terry?

In between do I know where I am going? Well kind of, and kind of not. I like the idea of planning my touring from day to day. I want to be spontaneous and let adventure take me where it will. I am hoping to connect with many of my friends and family along the way. Heads up all you northern United States people. The journey of thanking others continues.

Elsie

This year I am not traveling alone. Miss Elsie, the cat is going to join the adventure. So far I have had her on two short trips and she did OK. I really did not want to leave her home this time. I will need to consider her needs a bit. I have decided to stay in one place for more than one night. This way she gets adjusted and you know I don’t need to be in a rush. I can enjoy different places and enjoy relaxing and exploring along the way.

I am already so thankful for those friends (6 of them) who are going to love and support my home while I am away. My neighbors are also going to help. For the first time since I have lived here I now have the most marvelous neighbors. There is so much I feel thankful for on a daily basis.

A week from Sunday this new adventure begins. I am opening my heart and mind and am ready to find the expected and unexpected. Please join me as I blog my way through the summer. It will be fun to meet up with some of you along the way.

Miss Elsie the Cat Takes a Ride

Posted on March 10, 2015 by JanetA

Elsie in the desert

If you have been reading my blog from the beginning of my journey in 2013, you know I was suppose to be traveling with my cat, Elsie. That first summer she opted out and stayed in San Diego with my house sitter and friend Raquel.

This coming May I am planning on taking to the road for three months. More to come on that adventure. This time I decided that Miss Elsie is traveling with me.

How do I get Elsie (one of the original scaredy cats) and myself ready to travel together in my RV? I have for the past several months taken her out to the Roadtrek, made it comfy and spent the afternoon or evening reading while she explored and got used to the movements of my neighborhood. I wanted to make it feel like her home.

Once she was comfortable with this I then started the engine and took her for short rides. The short rides became longer with destinations in mind where we spent time inside the RV looking out. A few times over the course of last summer I would take her to the bay, open all the doors and windows and have dinner while she first hid under the bed and then gradually made her way to peer out the side door. Any noise or person would send her scooting under the bed again.

Miss E looking out the back screened door

Elsie rolling in the desert

Early in February we did our first overnight. We went out to the desert and boondocked. It was just her me and the desert. There was no one close by. First she laid on the bed and peered out the back screened window. Eventually she made it to the screened side door. With great timidness she stepped outside and discovered the desert floor is covered with dirt and sand. This cat has always loved to roll. Well she took off for one of the most major rolls of her life. By the time she was done she looked the color of the desert. When the night sky was in it’s full glory she and I went out and laid on the desert and looked at the heavens.

hiking and rolling in the wash

The following day on the way home we found a place up in a canyon and I took her hiking up the wash with me. I admit this makes me nervous as there are coyotes out there. She was on a short leash so she could not wander far. She again loved exploring and rolling on the desert floor.

Elsie in Patagonia

Trip two occured about two weeks ago when she and I headed to Patagonia, Arizona. Although timid in campgrounds she did come out from under the covers and look around. I took her for short walks late in the evening when everyone was inside their RV’s. We stayed there for 4 nights. The more we were there the more curious she became. And her world began to open a little at a time.

Here is what I have done so far to ensure the safety and happiness of Miss Elsie.

She has a halter on at all times except when we are sleeping.
She is chipped with ID information on all her halters.
I am going to add a locator to her collar so if she does get away I might be able to find her.
She always goes out with a leash on. I have a short one and a long leash.
She has a kitty playpen that I can put her in if she shows interest.
I have all doors screened and I can add screens to the front windows when camped.
All her vet records will travel with me and her immunizations will be up to date.
I am putting a sign on my RV letting people know she is on board.
I have favorite toys and sheepskins that she uses in the house with her in the RV.
The litter pan is easily accessible and will be cleaned immediately after use.
I have a designated place for her food and water.
Several years ago Jim and I taught her commands. Clap 3 times means come in the house, and she does. Collar, means stop let me put your collar on or take it off. My latest one I started when I first introduced her to the RV and that one is Wait and she does.

This summer when we leave I will travel differently. We will stay in one place for more than a day. I think that will ease her nervousness and I will get to know a place better. I will need to pay attention to someone elses needs and that is not a bad thing to consider.

Elsie was Jim’s kitty. It took her about five months to decide he was not coming back and she changed her allegiance to me. Over these past few years she has been a good friend and a constant in my life when everything else is changing. I am glad to have her along for the ride this summer.

Go Miss Elsie.

Birding in Patagonia….Arizona

Posted on March 3, 2015 by JanetA

Have you ever been to Patagonia??? Arizona??? I just returned from a week in southern Arizona visiting my friend Cat. Remember her…she was biking across the United States with her two dogs. She got as far as east of Tucson and had to change her goals once again.

Cat’s home

Cat’s doctors informed her that the “Bike across America” would need to go on an indefinite hold. She was without a home and wasn’t sure what to do. Cat fell in love with my small Roadtrek RV. Thinking that an RV would give her a home anywhere she wanted to be…she bought a 5th wheel (much bigger than mine) and moved in.

For the foreseeable future Cat is making Patagonia home. I decided that seeing her new RV was worth the drive and the visit. It was a great re-connection. When I arrived Dory the dog, came running out and up to the door of my RV and waited for it to magically open. She really likes me and my home on wheels. You might remember a previous post where I met up with Cat and the pups in Yuma.

What a fun 5 days that was. I have learned that people go to Patagonia to bird watch. I mean these are serious birders, folks. For a 5 day stretch I became a birder too, and, it was fun. There are a lot of birds there, of all kinds. We hiked the Nature Conservancy Reserve with binoculars in hand. We went back to the Paton House, managed by the Audubon Society three times while I was there. For five days my binoculars were around my neck and my camera was close at hand.It was so relaxing and fun.

Violet Crowned Humming Bird

Gambles Quail

Yellow Rumped Warbler

When I was young I was in the 4-H. One of my projects was bird watching. I remember it as a time when I had a close connection to my mom, as she helped me with this project. I have never lost the interest in wild life. I have found that since Jim’s death, I have become interested in birds again. There is something soothing about watching birds. And…they are such pretty colors. Being outside also is another bonus for me. It is a challenge to photograph them.

Cat & Janet at Paton’s

Spending time with Cat was also special. She and I mutually inspire each other. Our friendship is new so we are still learning about each other. I love our conversations. They are so easy and natural. Her sense of adventure exceeds mine, although I could be right behind her. She is an example of taking one day, one hour, one minute at a time and never, ever giving up. This is a reminder to me as I age, gracefully, I hope, to be willing to accept the changes that occur in life and if need be, change course. I don’t need to stop just change course.

Friendships are important. Each one is of such great value to me. I would have been very alone without my friends to support me and helping me to keep looking forward. Mostly I am happy they are more than willing to come along with me and have fun and explore our world. Each trip I take reminds me again of the value of good friends. And…I am thankful.

Cat & Janet

For those of you who are reading my blog you will notice something new. On the left side bar is now a button that says Go Fund Me. This is something new I have started at the suggestion of friends to help raise money for the Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship. This is a scholarship honoring my husband’s dedication to education. It is a quick and easy way to donate anything from $1 on up.

Hope Changes Everything

Posted on February 5, 2015 by JanetA

Wow, January has been a busy month. Besides work, hiking, home repairs and improvements I have also had my friends from Chicago and Florida visiting. And it has been fun.

Helen

Helen arrived early in January. It was so good to see her and spend some time with her. Our lives have intertwined for many years. About 3 weeks after Jim died Helen came to town for a week. Friends are amazing in knowing just what you need. At that point her visit was just what I needed. This January, once again, her visit was just what I needed.

HOPE

One of our discussions struck a chord with me and I have been pondering this since her visit.

Hope can be defined as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Or, to want something to happen or be the case.

Hope is something we all need. It is part of our every day lives, even though we don’t specifically address it. Sometimes it helps me get up in the morning. Sometimes it helps me to go to bed at night. Hope is a part of my everyday life. Often it surfaces and I don’t even know it is there.

Helen’s mom is in her late 80’s. MJ is not able to live at home and has not lived there for many years. Until this year they have been able to keep MJ’s home. Early on they would take her to visit and she would travel from room to room and review her treasured collections. That house I believe, represented hope for MJ. It may have given her daughter hope as well. No one knows what the outcome of any single event in our lives will be. Hope lets us know there are options.

Jim on Our Property

Spring on my property

When Jim was diagnosed with the metastasis of his cancer the first thing he said to me was “Let’s sell the land in Colorado” (We have 45 acres of bare land and we were planning to build and move there). I told him no,I did not think we should worry about that and if it became necessary I could take care of it later. I am glad I told him this. I believe that the land symbolized hope for a positive outcome. Although that did not happen, I recognize now how important it was for both of us to hold on to that property and know there was more than one possibility there.

Now hope helps me see the future. Hope I believe is part of the grieving process. When the days are not so shiny and positive hope helps me get through those moments, knowing that the next moment, hour or day may shine a little brighter. My friends and even strangers also help me hold hope in my heart. It is because of the love and support and caring of others that I am able to lift myself back up out of those darker places and move forward with my life and know there are unknown possibilities ahead for me to explore.

My days have been much brighter since about a week or so before Christmas. Hope helps me to see a future with possibilities. It helps me to grow and expand. When I am feeling sad or low hope certainly can help me remember to call someone or take a walk and get myself going again. Hope also helps me see beyond undefined fear that has become more prevalent since Jim’s death. Hope pushes aside fear and I am glad that hope is the stronger of the two emotions.

Hope is always part of my adventure into life. It has been since I was young and it will be until I am too old to move any more. But you know, even then the face of hope just changes. It will be always a part of my life.

How does hope affect you? I would love to have my readers share this with me.

Journeys of Thankfulness

Embracing Life, Traveling in my RV, Feeling Grateful

Tag Archives: Adventure.

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Elsie, My Mini-Adventure

Elsie At Home

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Elsie’s Blog Post

Getting Ready To Roll

Miss Elsie the Cat Takes a Ride

Birding in Patagonia….Arizona

Hope Changes Everything

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