Tag Archives: peace

Monks Walking for Peace: A Journey of Mindfulness

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I have been struggling with so many unsettling things occurring in my country and around the world. I worry and feel anger. I feel sad. I don’t understand the anger and negativity that has become so prevalent. My heart feels broken. There needs to be a kinder, gentler and more humane way of working with people. No one deserves to be treated as less than human.

In late October, I began to follow the Monks Walking for Peace and Mindfulness. It was a 120-day, 2300-mile journey by 19 Buddhist monks.They were accompanied by their loyal dog, Aloka, walking from Fort Worth, Texas, to Washington D. C. to raise awareness of inner peace and mindfulness across America and the world.

I began to walk with them in my heart, mind and spirit. I have learned, I have grown and my heart has begun to open again. The anger is softer now. Being in the present moment is an experience I treasure and not one that I experience enough.

The Huong Dao Vipassana Bhavana Center is the home temple. They started the Walk in Texas and returned here today. I am blessed to be there in spirit with all the people and monks.

When they started walking the roads were mostly empty except for nineteen walking monks and their support team. As it progressed east and north, people started showing up. They came to the roadsides to watch these monks walk for us and for all beings of the world. A few moments, a few kind word, prayers, blessings and lives are changed forever.

This walk was not without difficulty. Early on in the trip two of the monks were injured in a freak accident with a truck. One lost his leg. And still they kept walking. It snowed, it was cold. And still they kept on walking. Aloka, had to have veterinary surgery and left the walk for a short time. And still they kept walking.

They walked barefoot, in socks, in sneakers and sandals. They walked for me. They walked for you. They walked for the world.

And Still They Walked.

As I watched them walk, I felt like people who came to watch were waking up. They were remembering what is good in the world and what is good in themselves.They were remembering what is good in other people. Just a moment in time can change so much. And the numbers grew. And I remembered.

People started walking with them. They showed up for dharma talks, for meditation, for presence. By the time they reached Washington DC. thousands were walking with them. Thousands were listening, truly listening to their words. They woke up a presence in themselves.

Each day of the Walk, would start in my home with me checking their official Facebook page. I followed along. I attended some of the talks. I certainly attended the meditations. And Today just as it started I attended the returning ceremonies until everyone retired for lunch.

How does this experience make me feel. I feel a softness in my heart, the softness of letting my guard down and letting universal love in. I feel a measure of relief that there is good to be had out there in the world. I have cried with others and I have cried alone. It is not a cry of despair. It feels more like relief and love filtering in. My world and the world shines a bit brighter because nineteen monks walked for Peace and Love and Awareness.

Now I must remember and carry all these messages forward into my world, your world and the world of all sentient beings.

Today is Our Peaceful Day. Today is My Peaceful Day.

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu.

A Very Early Morning

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Yesterday morning I woke at 4:45 A.M. After attempting to return to sleep, I gave up and laid in bed and listened to the quiet. On a Saturday morning it is so quiet that, even though the ocean is about a mile or two away, I could hear the breakers. What a peaceful and relaxing sound.

There are times I really don’t mind waking up in the wee hours. There is a peacefulness to those hours. It is  time to contemplate and maybe, just maybe, be.

I find that these times are when I feel the most relaxed and comfortable in myself. I am not fighting with thoughts or feelings. Most of my aches and pains (from current accidents) are absent and I can rest. Miss Elsie the cat comes and lays on my tummy. Mmmm, such a special moment with her.

I especially love to hear the ocean as it breaks on the shore. The waves sound giant although they are only 3-4 feet this morning. I imagine a big ocean with great swells, even though it is quiet and the break is good. I love the ocean at it’s wildest moments.

When I was in my OB/GYN rotation, in my nursing program – many, many years ago – I followed a woman through the end of her pregnancy and birth. My mother gave birth in the very early hours of the morning. I remember sitting outside the hospital in Providence, RI just before dawn, smoking a cigarette (yes I did do this) and feeling content, happy, exhilarated and pleased with the whole world around me. Pleased with my self, pleased for a happy mom and dad and content. I listened as the city came alive on another normal day that was magical for a few of us.

The early wakeful morning hours are when magic comes alive for me. I am grateful to be here, relatively in tact and know I have time to stretch into my day a little bit at a time. I have time to read, to play games on my tablet and sometimes just lay there and be content. I like the content part most of all.

I can then stretch into my day at leisure. If I am not too lazy I can get up and catch the sunrise. If I am too lazy I can slowly get the day together. Elsie gets her leash on and goes outside. I have time to contemplate what might be on my agenda for the day. And then the day begins.

Today I will try to remember my sleepless nights and be grateful for the gift it gives.

 

Impermanence

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IMG_2577Last week I was driving to an appointment. I was listening to something on the radio that triggered me to emphatically say out loud “Darn it Jim!!!!”. At first I thought it was anger, yet as I focused on this statement I realized it was not anger. It felt more like frustration. As I parked for my appointment I decided to take a few moments and explore this feeling.

What I found frustrating was that Jim had reached a point in his life, on this planet, where he became accepting of his impermanence here and I do not have that understanding. A few days before he died he told me “whatever happens, I am ready for it”. If he got better he would be delighted yet if he got sicker and died he was OK with that as well. For his friends who read this, he also stated that he had seen or spoken  to everyone he needed to and he was ready for whatever was next. When he died he was at peace.

Here is what I am trying to figure out. How does someone get to that point in their life? How does someone reach an acceptance and peace.  Maybe when you are confronted with the strong possibility that life is near an end the acceptance and peace happens. If that is the case, well, I am definitely not there.

I used to be an RN. I worked with children for most of my career. The outcome of sickness is very individual, yet, I noticed how wise many of these children with cystic fibrosis, cancer and other diseases became, as they approached the end of their short life span. I was not alone in this observation, most of us who worked with them noticed this. I often felt that they became wise old ones by the time they died. They often left me feeling more in touch with my true essence and I felt them to be my teachers.

How do these young ones reach this acceptance? I believe, like Jim, that acceptance and peace arrives as death becomes close. It was as if they lived their whole lives in that short time.

Can someone reach that place without dying? i would like to believe so. Maybe yogis or wise ones understand this, though I am not sure.

This is an interesting topic to contemplate. I don’t find it negative or depressing or anything. I mostly would love to know how to reach that place in my life and remain alive to embrace it and share it with others.

I am glad that Jim was at peace. It was definitely helpful for all of us who loved and knew him. More than anything I wanted him to have peace and acceptance. It helped him to die with such grace. It was an honor to be in his presence.

Three years ago on October 17, 2012, Jim Fenningham died peacefully with those who loved him observing this passing. He was loved.

I miss him still.

And, I am doing OK.

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