Category Archives: breathing always breathing.

Oh No, The Check Engine Light is On!!!

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One thing that, I believe, every camper rues is when the “check engine” light lights up on the dashboard. What? Why is this happening? Oh no, can I make it somewhere to have it fixed? Oh no, what about my current trip? Oh no!!!

After spending two relaxing and fun weeks with friends in Florida, the check engine light lit up as we traveled north to another hot spring, to camp, bike, and kayak. OH NO! What to do?

  • Breathe, I must first and foremost remember to take a few deep breaths and relax. Life is not over as I know it and it will work out.
  • Coachnet is my Roadside Assist. After breathing I called them and once they made sure I was somewhere safe they began to help me figure out the best course of action. In this case, they gave me some excellent information. If the check engine light is solid yellow, I can drive on it and it will not automatically go into limp mode after so many starts. Well, that is good to know. They also would call me back the following morning to tell me who they found to look at the rig. Thank you Mercedes Benz of Jacksonville. Whew.
  • Call my friends and tell them I am delayed due to all of the above. It is good to know that they would have come back to help me out if I had needed assistance. It helps to know someone has my back.
  • Go to Auto Zone and ask them to check the codes. Did you know they do that for free? I did not know this. Now I do.
  • Notify my sister, who I would be seeing at the end of the camping week, that there is a glitch in the plans. Ruth was willing to come to pick me up in Jacksonville if necessary. That is very helpful and it is what family does for each other.
  • Drive carefully to the campground and park EmmyLou for the five days we are there.
  • Have fun with my friends.
  • Breathe.

Today, Monday I am at Mercedes Benz waiting patiently. The diagnosis? I need to replace the particulate filter. Don’t ask me too much about this. I do know it is part of the emissions and because it is under an extended warranty, I do not have to pay for it, Yay!!!

Mercedes treats its customers very well. This particular service center has a complimentary breakfast and lunch cafe. How cool is that? After I checked in I had a made-to-order omelet and began to wait. The staff here is helpful and knowledgeable. I am in good hands.

Here I am, breathing and writing and waiting. I will be out of Mercedes in a few hours and continue on my way north. I am grateful that EmmyLou is in good hands. I am thankful it is an easy fix.

I am overly thankful for Missy and Dan and my sister, Ruth and Joe, who were so helpful and supportive. I am also thankful for Tissa and Ed (extended family), who let me park my rig in their driveway for the weekend. It is so good to have so many people that love me and support me.

Today I am thankful.

A Week in Mexico

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San Carlos, Mexico

Thursday I will have been in Mexico for a week. Yes, I finally took a deep breath and crossed the southern border of the United States.

The hardest part was crossing the border. I have been across the border before but I have EmmyLou with me this time. I have my home with me. I have to make sure I can take care of her.

It was good to be with others who have done this before. Out of the nine of us, four have been doing this for years. I am thankful for Mary, Mike, Sky, and Bobbi. With their guidance, we made it through the process of entering a different country. I don’t mind a little hand-holding and guidance. First, we crossed over. About twenty-one miles south of the border we stopped to get our Visitor’s Visa and Temporary Import Permit for EmmyLou. It was a process, not quick. Once again I remembered to breathe and be patient. And when it was done I was in Mexico.

We have been staying on the beach along a bay near San Carlos on the Sea of Cortez. This is mainland Mexico. It has been a week of relaxation and fun and community. There is a lagoon nearby so I have had some great kayaking and birding adventures. I am very thankful for my kayaking experience. I was able to go off alone and feel comfortable on the water. Yes, I did have all my safety gear with me. When one travels alone one needs to be prepared.

In the afternoons we have been having fun with art. I have been painting rocks and shells. It is fun to allow my artistic side to come forward. It has been many years since this side of me has come out to play. It is fun to paint with little expectation of the outcome. This is called folk art.

Brown Footed Boobie

The sunrises have been amazing and the sunsets breathtaking. It is not unusual to see pods of dolphins swim by, close to shore. The birding has been good. There is this island approximately two miles off the shoreline, Isla de Pastel (Cake Island). On a glassy, quiet day on the water, I kayaked to the island to see the birds. It was not disappointing. There were cormorants, pelicans, all types of gulls, and the Brown-Footed Boobie.

The island was interesting as well. There was one cave I could kayak into. The water was spectacularly clear. It was quiet in the cave as sunlight dappled the walls. There were smaller rock outcroppings to explore. I ended up circling the island twice. There was so much to see.

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Isla de Pastel
Caves on the West Side
Kayaking into a Cave

The people I am traveling with are delightful. Currently, there are nine of us. There are three couples and three are solo. We get along well. This is a very fluid group. People come together to visit and talk. Then some will go off to do something they are interested in. There is little pressure to join in if solo time is what one needs, yet the door remains open if one wants to join in on an adventure or sit on the beach and chat.

Slowing down and relaxing have been good for me. I needed this quiet and peaceful time in my life. I have not been to town. The wilderness and sea have called to me more than exploring town. Tomorrow that will change. Saying farewell to the coast is hard. We are heading to Alamos. I have read about Alamos and have heard much about it from Mary Z. It will be another type of experience. For a while, I will need to say goodbye to the Pacific and the coastline and head inland to experience another side of Mexico.

You are most welcome to come along on this journey with me as I delve deeper into Mexico.

Today I am thankful for a relaxing and peaceful time in my life. Today I am thankful for this beautiful Mexican land and sea. Today I am thankful for those who surround me now. I am thankful for new experiences that open me up and give me the opportunity to continue to grow and explore.

Adventures Heading South

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Sunset in San Diego

Every year in November I return to San Diego to get my annual medical and dental appointments done. I come south to visit friends and escape winter. I usually don’t travel directly to the city. I meander my way from wherever I have been.

I find it hard to be in large cities. Since I bought my Roadtrek and went full-time RV’ing, I have embraced rural and small-town living. I like the slower pace. I like the quick access to the outdoors. I would rather walk, kayak, or cycle than take too much time to get to my starting point. I like the sense of community that small towns and the rural countryside offers. People look out for each other. We help each other out. I don’t have to be alone unless I choose that option.

I have to prepare myself for the entrance into the city. This year after I left The North Rim of the Grand Canyon, White Pocket and southern Utah I headed south to Phoenix. If I want to practice being in a larger metropolitan area this city is a good one to approach. Phoenix is the fifth largest metropolitan area in the United States. I have two good friends that live in towns on either side of Phoenix.

Superstition Mts. from my Campsite

Apache Junction and Mary are on the east side of Phoenix. The Superstition Mountains and the Lower Salt River are within twenty minutes of Mary’s doorstep. I camped at the Lost Dutchman State Park. This park sits at the foot of Flat Iron Peak. It is a popular hike for the locals.

At Mary’s suggestion, one morning I launched my Oru Kayak on the Lower Salt River and paddled downriver. Since I wasn’t sure how far I wanted to go, Mary and Roxie, her dog, would meet me at each pullout or launching site to see how I was doing. Happily, I made it the full ten miles. It was a beautiful and scenic ride down the river. The next time I am taking Mary with me.

I paddled by wild horses feasting on the eelgrass in the river. The Salt River wild horses roam the lower Salt River in the Tonto National Forest in Arizona. According to historical records, the horses have been living on the Salt River reservation before the National Forest was created in the early 1900s. The wild horses are watched over by the Salt River Wild Horse Management Group. They are protected and number approximately five hundred.

After three days of catching up with Mary and her animal menagerie, I drove to Goodyear to visit Yvonne. Goodyear is on the west side of Phoenix. Yvonne lives in a 55 and up community. This stay was more community-minded as Yvonne is very involved with the community where she lives. While I was there we went to a block party, a beer-tasting event, and more. The best part of visiting Yvonne is sitting in her hot tub every morning talking and planning the day. It is a good way to start the day.

After Phoenix, I decided I need to go rural for a few days before I arrived in San Diego. I spent two nights on the lower Colorado River, kayaking on Squaw Lake and the mighty river. It is quiet out in the desert right now. The Snowbirds are just starting to arrive. There were a handful of campers at the campsite. There were at least three Roadtreks there. After a day of kayaking, it was nice to sit outside with my neighbors and watch the sunset over the lake.

Currently, I am in San Diego. I have already been to a few appointments and visited with friends. It is nice to be back on familiar terrain. I am able to see what has changed in the last nine months. I know where to find my favorite Coffeehouses. The one thing I like about San Diego is camping on Mission Bay. Even though I am in a large city, I still have easy access to biking trails and the boat launch is only a short distance from my campsite. Well, that is convenient.

My winter plans are taking shape. I always know to expect the unexpected. I remember to breathe my way through my appointments and wait to find out the results of tests. There is a part of me that feels I have to wait to make plans until all the medical and dental appointments are complete and the results are in. Sometimes I get thrown a curve. I wait.

Today I am thankful for so many wonderful friends. Today I am thankful for my soft adventures. Today I am thankful for my health. I am truly thankful for a good first dental appointment. Today I am thankful for rain-it is raining in San Diego. (not a frequent occurence)

Today I am thankful.

Summer is Winding Down & New Adventures are on the Horizon

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Two days ago my house-sitting gig on Whidbey Island came to an end. I have fallen in love with the little house on the bluff. I will miss it. I will miss the sunsets. I will miss Birdy Boy. I will miss my neighbors, Tom and Robyn. I will miss the comfort of my temporary home.

And, I am ready to move back into my RV and get on the road.

But not so fast. On Monday of this week, I moved up Island to the charming town of Coupeville where I am house and dog sitting for a week. Yes, the animal and house-sitting adventures continue.

Lela’s Place

One of the things I like about owning a Roadtrek is the true friends I have made since I bought EmmyLou.

Lela had a Roadtrek that she sold about a year ago. We met when I first came to Whidbey Island in 2021. She lives on this island. We have been friends since. We kayak together, meet for outings and music festivals, eat dinner together, talk, and have fun.

Lela has two dogs, well she had three, Abbe went to Doggie Heaven a few days before my arrival. Ellie and Ace are still here and going strong. They are my charges for the week. Are they cute and personable? Yes! Can they be whiney? Yes. They are dogs.

Ellie
Ace

I now have two dogs that sleep with me at night and follow me around the house during the day. They are cute. I love how they look at me like I am the best person in the world. They get me out and walking a couple of times a day. They love their walks. I have become a dog poopy bag carrier.

I also continue to have the most amazing sunset views. I love looking west.

‘Sunsets from Lela’s House

After my week here I am changing it up. I am joining three other adventurous women and we are heading for the backcountry of the North Rim of the Grand Canyon for a few weeks. These trips make my soul sing. I will share more of this adventure as it unfolds.

I am moving south. Fall has arrived here, even though it is still summer. Right after Labor Day, the weather shifted and I could smell fall in the air. The days are growing shorter and it is cooler now. Today I woke up to heavy fog over the Sound and the house but not me. I still have to take those doggies for a walk.

I will miss many things about island living, the ferries, the sunsets, my friends, being so close to nature, kayaking, and the quiet and solitude I often experienced here. My nomadic life has not come to an end, though I admit I look at the real estate ads from time to time.

I feel blessed and honored to be asked to take care of people’s homes and pets. I have been able to experience parts of this country more in-depth than just spending a week or two in each place. I have made friends. I have seen so many lovely places. Now I am ready to see some more.

Sandy’s & Jim’s Home

Today I am thankful for Sandy & Jim who have let me live in and caretake their home for two wonderful summers in the Northwest. Maybe I will be back again. I am thankful for the friends I have met and kept. I am thankful I discovered a lifestyle that complements me especially when I was feeling lost after Jim’s death.

Today I am thankful.

Now, it is time to take the dogs for a walk.

Easter, Breathing, The Power of Prayer

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I am not a religious person. I go to church once in a great while when it calls to me. I have faith but usually not religion. Does that make sense?

St Pauls cathedral

Right after Jim died I attended Easter services at St Paul Episcopal Cathedral in San Diego. It was an event. The music resounded through this church. The procession in was awe inspiring. It was a welcoming and holy place. The message I recieved there was of value to me and personal. It was something I could hold dear when I was grieving so intently.

I have attended First Presbyterian Church in Granville, Ohio to hear my niece’s husband preach. He is good.

Because I am an infrequent attendee of any church , these moments sitting in a holy place brings extra value into my life. Churches are quiet and holy and supports my spiritualness.

This morning I was listening to NPR Weekend Edition with Scott Simon. I wanted to share with you, readers, some of what he said at the end of the program.

“This is a weekend that includes Passover, Easter Sunday, and the continuation of Ramadan. Holidays about rescue, renewal, and reflection. Stories about the parting of seas, for a people to escape slavery; a great soul rising; and fasting and long nights of prayer to remind ourselves of the preciousness of life.

Sarah Sager, a Cantor in Beachwood, Ohio, told us this confluence of holy days, “represents the right of every human being to be free. For three-thousand years we have been observing this holiday with the same vision. We will continue to do so until the dream is realized. Somehow, it shouldn’t be so hard and rare.”

Imam Makram Nu’man El-Amin in Minneapolis told us, “I choose not to see this as a coincidence, but a sign that all these faiths overlap. We bring multitudes around the globe together in acts of prayers this weekend for the common good of all peoples. This is especially important in a time of conflicts and social justice concerns.”

This description helps me to more fully understand the meaning of this time. Easter is celebrated around the world. It is celebrated in many different ways. Imagine the power of all those prayers It truly is a holy and powerful time. It is about people of faith and those of us who flounder. It is about all of us.

Continuuing with Weekend Edtition Scott Simon ended with this poem.

And Sister Margaret Guider of the Boston College School of Theology and Ministry, sent us a poem that reads in part:

“The convergence of these sacred days
should serve as a collective reminder, 
that the prophetic heritage
of our respective faith traditions, whether adhered to or not
in the ways of our ancestors, continues to permeate the air
which the human family breathes, 
of freedom, love and peace,
the life-giving breath of the Holy One. 

Yet, many of us, throughout the year, 
breathe through our mouths, 
while holding our noses. 

In doing so, we defend ourselves from the suffocating air of 
bondage, hatred and violence 
that surrounds us. 

However, in doing so, 
we also close ourselves off 
from any opportunity of
smelling the scents of 
justice, hope and compassion 
that also arouse conscience, 
giving rise to courage, and resiliency. 
Perhaps these holy days
will provide us with an opportunity to open ourselves to be moved
Christians, East and West, 
Muslims, Shia and Sunni, 
and Jews, Orthodox and Reformed, 
to breathe in 
the scents of the sacred – of freedom, love and peace,
that we are called to breathe out –
Not only on special days,
But every day.”

Breath and Breathing have been a large focus of my life in the past two years. If I examine it, breathing has been an important part of my life since I was born. I have practiced yoga for over thirty years. Breath is so much a part of the practice. It is a very important part of yoga. Conscious breathing is a part of my life for some moments of every day. When I heard this poem read this morning I thought, “ah another reminder of breath and breathing and its many facets of importance in my life. We all breathe together, every moment of our existence on this earth. Breathing reminds me of the sacred and the power of all those prayers to transform and change.

Sunday I am going to church. I am attending my friends’ church. I was invited and I decided to go. I love the music and who knows. maybe I will once again receive a message for myself to carry me forward in growth and breath for another year.

I have already received one message from Weekend Edition this morning. Going to church on Easter Sunday is one more way of reminding me of the sacred and holiness in myself and all human-kind.

Remember to celebrate this holy day however you choose and truly remember to breathe in as well as out. This is a day where we are all one people.

Happy Easter!

The Magic of Friendship

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I love nature. There is nothing more soothing to me than venturing out into the forests, beaches or deserts. I love nature. I am a birder and love watching all the wonderful birds I see when I am out with or without my camera. I love watching animals big and small. And, Oh the flowers. Nature keeps me happy and whole even when I don’t feel one hundred percent.

There are many different types of birds in Washington where I am currently residing. I have seen Black-Headed Grosbeaks, Western Tanagers, Rufous Hummingbirds, Northern Pintails (ducks), Gadwalls and so much more.

Black Headed Grosbeak-Western Tananger-Goldfinch

I failed to mention Eagles, because they are everywhere. I see them almost daily, in flight, on the beach, and in the trees. I even met one up close when I was looking at that tiny little spot way out in the water. I almost walked into it as it was sitting on the beach directly in front of me. Birding is fun here. Birding is fun everywhere.

Young Eagle

There are moments in my life, in your life, when magic happens in nature. If it is large enough we see it and delight in it. Some magic moments are more frightening and overwhelming. If we live through it, we will grow and become more confident and strong. Some moments are quiet and small with great impact.

Approximately two weeks ago I was sitting on the deck when I heard the most beautiful bird song. I pulled out my bird app and was finally able to deduce that it was a song sparrow. On my app, there is a section that lets one hear how the bird sounds. I played it and sure enough, it was a song sparrow. When this little guy heard the sound he flew to the deck and warbled away.

I have ceased playing the sounds yet he comes and finds me several times a day and sings his tune. If I am inside he stands on the back of the deck chairs and looks in and sings. If I move to the other side of the yard he finds me. He has sat on my feet and knees and arms, shoulders and head. I think he is in serious like with me.

I have learned a bit about song sparrows. They can sing at least twenty-four different songs and produce variations of the songs. They often will learn songs of neighboring birds. Unlike other songbirds, they tend to repeat their song several times before moving onto another variation. They are mostly ground birds bouncing in and out of the nearby bushes. One time He was sitting on a pole that is supporting deer fencing. He quickly looked down, flew to the fence and just like that he nabbed a moth. I did not even see the moth until he picked it up and swallowed it.

When I go out and visit with him I sit quietly and talk softly with him. It has been interesting to watch his progress in identifying where it is safe for him to go. When he first decided to try my arm he would fly onto the arm and immediately pop off again. Each time he tried he stayed longer. If I did a sudden movement he would immediately go to a nearby fence. He did this same type of testing with my knees, shoulders and now head. Although he still does this when I first go outside the time has shortened.

This behavior is no different than when people meet other people or move into a new environment. Don’t we often test people? Or I should say, wouldn’t this be a good idea? As children grow they test the world around them all the time. This is how we learned some basics of life, such as not to touch a hot stove burner. Hopefully we have all learned this. It is through testing out the options that we find our friends and our true family. It is often why some friendships are short and others last the test of time.

I am pleased to have met this little fellow. I feel honored that he has picked me for a friendship, although I do tell him he needs to go meet other girl sparrows.

He has reminded me to practice patience. It takes time to welcome others into my life. I take time each day to sit quietly with him. I use this time to sit and observe nature in my immediate surroundings, listen to the birds and watch what is going on out on the Sound. And I breath. Always I breath.

He has certainly added a bit of joy to my stay on Whidbey Island.

Today I am thankful for magic, trust and nature and one little brown bird.

Breathing-Breath-Breathe

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Today I received notification from my endocrinologist that my one-year anniversary of treatment for thyroid cancer looks good. All the tests came back where he wanted them. And today I took a full deep breath and reminded myself to relax, not to worry, and yes I can look forward.

It is interesting to witness my reaction to medical news or any news. I am not aware that I hold my breath or all that implies. I am not aware that my shoulders are lifted the slightest bit. I am not aware of this until I get good results and notice my shoulders drop, my brow unfurrows and I take a deep full breath. I allow the warrior woman to relax, thank the Gods that be, and move forward with a lighter step.

I became aware of this when I was diagnosed with breast cancer ten years ago. The first year was tough. Not all the news was good, yet I waded through that first year and it became easier. Each time my annual visit came around I prepared myself for the news, good or bad. When another year went by and everything looked good, I relaxed, and down went the shoulders, my face softened and I took a full deep breath.

In April of 2019, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. One side of my thyroid was removed. I delayed having the other side removed until I returned from an amazing trip to Africa. That following November the other side of my thyroid was removed. I underwent the radioactive iodine treatment for thyroid cancer in early 2020.

Most of the year I am fine but when this winter arrived and I had to get my lab work and ultrasound done, the worrying began. Up go the shoulders, the brow furrow deepens and I hold my breath. I want the news to be good yet I am readying myself if the news isn’t so good.

Now I can relax for another six months until more lab work is due.

What helps me when I become stressed or worried?

  • I practice yoga, at least five sun salutations a day, or a full practice.
  • I stop and take five deep breaths (count in for 4 and out for 4), in and out, each day. I may repeat the process several times a day. It is unlimited. Sometimes I add a mantra to my breath.
  • Exercise is important. I bike, hike, and walk. I also do weight-bearing exercises.
  • I see a counselor when I need to.
  • I try to journal but am not faithful to this form.
  • I go out and take photos. Nature and photography can calm my soul. Birdwatching has the same effect.
  • I call my friends and family. It is good to have others to vent to when I am alone so much of the time.
  • And always, I remember to breathe.

After Jim, my husband, died I took a twelve-week mindfulness meditation course, through my HMO. I was looking for anything that could help me get through one of the worst times of my life. Mindfulness Meditation helped me focus on breathing and learning techniques to move forward through grief. Breath was definitely a focus of this course.

Conscious breathing is my reminder to slow down, everything is OK. Breathing reminds me to let go of what I cannot control, to reset, everything is OK. Breath helps me to relax, everything is OK. Breathing reminds me I am OK, I am doing the best I can at this moment in time. My lungs are happy that I am giving them the exercise they need to do the best job they can do.

Today I am taking a deep breath. I am thankful for good test results. Today I am breathing and looking forward to a time in the Northwestern United States. I am more relaxed and tonight I am confident that I will sleep just a wee bit more soundly.

Today I am breath. Today I am breathing.

Today I am thankful and grateful.

BREATHE

Tour Guiding-A Stolen Bike & A New Bike

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Guiding at Torrey Pines Golf Course

In 1997 I quit my career as a nurse. After taking a year off, going back to school and having fun,  I began a search for a new career. A small ad in the local newspaper guided me into a career that continued until I retired. For fourteen years I was a Tour Guide in San Diego and a Tour Director, taking seniors and other ages, on tours throughout the United States, Canada, Alaska, Mexico, and South America. It was a great job and one I was well suited for. Often I was the one who stood at the front of the bus with a microphone in hand, giving tours, maintaining a sense of humor, and guiding everyone to have a good time.

What makes up a good tour guide or director:

  • Knowledge. One has to be willing to research often on the places they guide. Guests expect you to know every rock, tree, flower, and more. In San Diego, I took avail of any local tours, refreshing myself on the local facts and lore. I read books and asked lots of questions. When I was planning an outbound tour, I was often busy for up to six weeks before a trip, preparing and refreshing my knowledge.
  • Humor. When all else fails a good sense of humor will push one through the roughest of patches.
  • Kindness and Caring. What made me so well suited for this job was the fact that I really cared about each person, even the difficult ones, on my trips and tours around San Diego. My goal was to make sure everyone had the best experience possible. I always hoped there might be a “wow” moment for each individual.
  • A willingness to lose sleep. Long after my guests were off to dreamland I was up studying for the next day. If someone was ill in the middle of the night, I was up with them.
  • Flexibility and no I don’t mean that I can touch my toes. When things go wrong on a trip or tour, a good tour guide or tour director needs to be able to change things on the fly.
  • Generally, we need to know how everything works. Where do we meet guests at the airport? Where can the motorcoaches pick up and drop off? How do we register these guests for a conference? What roads do I take to get from point A to point B? The list goes on.

What really made this job worthy of my time, especially on a local level was the sense of community among the local tour guides. Part of work, was meeting up with the other tour guides. I looked forward to seeing everyone I worked with. The tour guides in San Diego are a tight-knit group. We all know each other, we lament with each other, share the joys and gossip, and enjoy hanging out with each other. I love the local tour guides.

My sweet red bike

A few days ago my beloved road bike was stolen. Sigh. As with almost everything I own, it carries a story with it. It is a fast little red Jamis road bike.  Jim, my now deceased husband bought it for me. I loved that bike. I loved riding it with him. After he died I found that riding my bike was the type of sport I still loved the most. When my bike disappeared I was heartbroken and at a bit of loss about what to do.

I immediately discovered grief, again. I know I have to grieve for the loss of this precious bike. Life is about impermanence and this is being taught to me again. Sigh.

I know that I will get a new road bike. I love riding too much to be without one. Until then what was I suppose to do? I went on Facebook (yes I know some of you are not fond of social media) posted on my personal page that I had my bike stolen, and was wondering if anyone had a bike I could borrow until I could buy another bike. Within an hour, yes an hour, a fellow tour guide, Jay, posted on my page that he had a bike that was given to him by another tour guide, Bev, and he wanted to give it to me. I went to his house which is very close to where I am staying, took it for a ride, and came home with a Cannondale M300 mountain bike.

My New Ride

How incredibly cool is this? How kind and caring. The tour guide community in San Diego is strong. Even though I have retired from guiding, I still meet up with guides, catch up on all the gossip, and know that if I need anything at all, I can reach out to most of the guides I know and if they can help, they will. I want to thank Jay for stepping forward and being generous and kind and caring to my need. It is not unusual that people will step forward in a crisis (big or small). It brings out the best in most of us. It certainly brought out the best in Jay and I will be forever grateful for to him and to this blue mountain bike, currently getting tuned up.

In a few days’ time, I will be out on my new bike, learning the ins and outs of a completely different style of bike. It will help me gain new knowledge and skills. I am anxiously waiting to ride it around the bay. I am anxiously waiting for my first ride.

Today and each day I ride that blue Mountain Bike I will be grateful for Jay’s gift to me. I will be thankful for a job that gave me the opportunity to meet and know such fine people. Today and as always I am grateful.

Thank you, Jay. You are the best.

 

Driving West, The Cancer Word, Moving On

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Sunset over Lake Erie

In mid-September I left New Jersey and my sister’s home and began heading west. Elsie the cat and I moved back into our little home on wheels and took off. I have been slowly making my way west, exploring Pennsylvania, stopping to visit family in Ohio and taking time to bird watch along the south shore of Lake Erie.

I spent three lovely days visiting good friends, Helen and Norb, in Chicago before once again heading west. I am now in Lincoln, NE visiting with good friends, waiting out a cold front that is coming through before once again heading west.

For all of my friends that are experiencing very cold conditions at night, I am afraid I am going to bypass you this time. Why? 10 degrees F. is just a bit too cold for my rig. I am going to be driving south and then west so I don’t have to winterize my little home on wheels.

I will arrive in San Diego on October 20. I am scheduled for surgery to remove the other half of my thyroid on October 25. With the support of my doctors I put off this surgery until after my grand summer vacation in Africa. Now I have to move ahead. I guess the vacation is over.

I have been contemplating, otherwise known as thinking, about my life coming up. I am nervous about this surgery. I am apprehensive about the outcome. A few days ago I woke in the morning with the realization that I am experiencing the “C” word for the second time in my life and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, a bit nervous, and a bit scared, and a bit emotional. Ah life continues to hand out the surprises.

There is another feeling I have been experiencing this time with cancer and that is the sense of feeling very alone in this big wide world. When I had breast cancer, Jim was alive and was my major every day support. This time I am having to create my support team. And, honestly?, I am missing Jim.

After seeing Jim go through head and neck cancer I swore that was the one type of cancer I did not want to tackle. Now here I am. I am trying very hard to separate the two experiences yet that is hard to do. I know they are different kinds of cancer but seriously who cares? Cancer is cancer and it is a hard thing to handle.

I know I have heard all the words; “I have a friend (aunt, sister…) who had thyroid cancer and they had their thyroid removed and are fine”, “If you are going to have cancer, this is the a good cancer to have” (that is a horrible thing to say to someone, there is no good cancer to have), “you will be just fine” (how do you know?), “God never gives you more than you can handle” (bull on this one-don’t ever, ever, ever say this to anyone-ever), “It is a simple surgery” (What? there is not simple surgery). And the words go on.

On the positive side of this is that my friends are stepping forward.

  • During the weekend of surgery, Nancy is taking care of Miss Elsie.
  • Cynthia and Ward are taking me into their home to love me pre and post op.
  • Phyllis, I know, will be waiting in the wings to help however I will let her.
  • Helen and Dave, my friends in Lincoln told me to let them know if I need them and they will get into their tiny home on wheels and head west. (this was enough to bring tears to my eyes)
  • My friend Sharon, in southern Utah wants to be contacted post surgery so she can, from a distance love and support me.
  • My immediate family are too far away to physically help out, but I know they will be supporting me from a distance.

I am more than a bit overwhelmed by my friends near and far who will be loving me as I face this newest challenge in my life.

And in the midst of all this “C” stuff well here I am, once again in another October. Today would have been Jim’s birthday. Yesterday he went into the hospital for the last time. Six days from now I have a birthday. The day after my birthday Jim died. Now I have surgery on the 25th. Well isn’t that an actioned packed month. October seems to be more and more a month I struggle to get through. I appreciated when November 1 comes around.

Isn’t this an uplifting post? I have always tried to be honest with who I am in the moment and what I am going through. From the moment I posted my first post I told myself to write from the heart and I hope that I have succeeded in doing this.

Today this is who I am and tomorrow, well, I may be different. Tomorrow I will be moving south and west. Just like the other snowbirds I am heading to the sun and warmth. To my friends in San Diego, I will see you in about ten days and I look forward to reuniting with you.

In the meantime I will drive and explore and be amazed at the places I see. I will remember to breath, deeply and long and relax. And yes the camera will be coming out and join me for the ride. Miss Elsie is as always is my sidekick. I am looking west toward the rest of my life.

Into Africa

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I am going to Africa. Saturday morning my friend, Phyllis and I board a plane at JFK International Airport and we are off.

How did I get to this point? First I agreed to go on this adventure. Early in March I moved into Phyllis’s condo for a couple weeks and we planned. Each morning after breakfast we moved to our computers and began to put this trip together. First we started with the photo safari and then moved on from there.

Pangolin Photo Safaris ended up being our Safari of choice. We will be traveling with professional photographers. I am excited to be able to learn from them. I am excited to see animals and birds  and learn how to photograph them better. I am excited. Our tour includes a hot air balloon ride. That excites me too. Kenya and this safari is the climax of this trip.

It was Phyllis who said “If I am traveling that distance, I want to see as much as I can”. We extended our stay to one month. Then we decided two months would be better. We got input from good friends who planned their own independent trip to Africa (thank you Mary Z) and decided we could do this as well.

Several blogs helped guide us to figure out routes, places to stay and things to do. With the ten hour time difference it took a while to put the trip together. I did have a few late nights so I could contact places when they were open.

And then in the middle of all the planning, I had surgery to remove my right thyroid for what everyone thought would be a benign nodule. Instead it came back positive for cancer. After a few shed tears and oh my God moments, I had discussions with my surgeon and endocrinologist and a second opinion at UCSD Moores Cancer Center. Everyone said go to Africa and so I am. I was started on Synthroid to keep my numbers low. The rest of the treatment is on hold until fall. I am turning the cancer shingle to the wall for the summer and am off on a grand adventure. I know that sounds easy yet, in reality I have to keep my anxiety at bay. It is good to do research but not too much.

Tuesday I picked Phyllis up at the airport in New Jersey. She came to stay at the lake for a few days. In the wee hours of Saturday morning we are climbing aboard British Air and flying off into the wild blue yonder.

Here is our tentative itinerary in a nutshell.

  • Victoria Falls is the first stop. I plan on getting wet in the mist of the falls. Did you know that elephants sometimes walk through downtown Victoria Falls? Elephants!!!!
  • Three days later we will fly to Nelspruit, South Africa and rent a car.
  • After one night in town, it will be time to explore Kruger National Park. We plan a week in the park. We hope to see the big five-buffalo, elephant, rhino, lion, and leopard. In Kruger you can rent cottages in different areas. We are staying in cottages in two different sections of the park. The other three nights we will be staying at a private reserve. Hikes and Safaris are included in our itinerary.
  • When we depart Kruger NP we plan to meander south along the east coast of south Africa. This is the most un-set part of our itinerary. We are going on a road trip.
  • It will be spring in South Africa. Flowers will be starting to bloom. I am looking forward to the gardens and the flowers and visiting National Parks as we travel.
  • Our next big stop is West Coast National Park. We will see more animals and wild flowers. We have registered for a day hike in this park and staying in Langebaan, a town just outside the park.
  • Next is Cape Town. We will be staying at the Parker House, again a recommendation. Sight unseen I have no doubt we will like our accommodations. The owners have been instrumental in helping us with some of the details of this journey, a rental car for one. It is nice to know that someone has our backs and we can touch base with them if we need to.
  • Finally we fly to Kenya and go on our official Safari. I am hoping to see many animals and birds. The Wildebeest migration is at the top of the list.

Elsie the cat and my rig are staying at my sister’s, on the lake in northern New Jersey. Ginny and my niece are taking the rig out for a weekend camping trip. We have gone through all the nuts and bolts on running the rig and turning on the house. The owners manual is close by and I told her that if she has any questions to ask on the RV Lifestyles or Roadtrek Hymer Facebook pages. People have always been helpful when questions are asked.

Here is my condensed summer adventure. I am excited and a little nervous. Hopefully I will remember to try to enjoy my journey just one day at a time. I will remember to breath and allow myself to open up to the experience.

There will be definitely more to come. I am planning to blog often and post photos, of course. I hope you will come along for the journey.