Changing My State of Mind-Feeling Grateful

This morning I woke up feeling a bit sorry for myself. I miss Elsie, I miss Jim, I miss having a permanent home (sometimes-Oh wait isn’t my RV a permanent home?), I miss, I miss, I miss. Isn’t that a pleasant way to wake up? Not!

Once I climbed out of bed I decided I was going to look around me and find things I am grateful for. It is way past time to walk away from the “oh woe is me” thinking. After doing this, the sorries are gone and I am back on track, ready to take on another day.

What did I see that made me grateful and happy, if not, content?

I live in a pretty amazing small space. When I am cold I can turn on the heat. I am warm and dry and comfortable. I have a very comfortable bed, one I have been creating for as long as I have been fulltiming, to make it just this comfortable. It is hard to get out of comfort in the morning. This is a complete home, minus the cat, that fills my needs just as much as if I had a permanent spot on the map. I am so grateful for this little home on wheels.

Recently friends of mine, Helen & David, told me that the latest research shows that coffee may be good for a person. When I left their home in Nebraska this past fall I left with a filter, coffee filters, coffee, and a scoop. About once a week I indulge myself in a rather weak yet good cup of joe. Every time I pull out the filters and coffee I immediately think of my friends. It reminds me of how loved I am by them and so many others. Funny how just getting out the makings for a routine cup of coffee can remind me of such good friends and make me grateful.

Zentangles

I look at the front of the cabinets and there are small Zentangles that were drawn by a very long-time friend of mine. It reminds me of how the two of us have gone through so many changes in our friendship of close to thirty years and we still endure. I am glad I have Nancy to go to when I need an in-depth and hopefully honest conversation. We have helped each other over the years. Again I am reminded of friends near and far who love and support me, even when I am not at my best

Last night I had another potential Elsie sighting. I am so grateful to the people on the Santee Nextdoor App. More than likely this will not be Elsie, the description is wrong, yet I am so grateful for all these unknown people out there who have been supporting me through this hard process of trying to locate my lost kitty. They have been amazing and I will remain grateful for this community for the rest of my life. You might want to check out Nextdoor and become active in a different way, in your community.

I take for granted that I have clothes on my back and when they get dirty I have the money to go to the local laundromat to wash them. There are people who struggle to have one pair of shoes. As I look toward my sleeping area I see two pairs of shoes there. Today I am grateful I can have my pick of shoes and clothes and food and well just about everything else that makes my life a bit easier.

Have you ever noticed how unique and incredible the people around you can be? When I get up in the morning I usually check my emails, and then social media. It is not unusual to read a little of people’s lives on Facebook in the morning. I know that most of the time we present the better side of ourselves to the world, but, what amazing people I know. One couple is very involved with the San Diego Maritime Museum. They are always doing the coolest things with the ships that are a part of the museum. Their interest in the museum has even led James to a part-time job working for Scripps Institute of Oceanography, helping to captain their research vessel. How cool is that? Pretty darn cool, I think.

Others travel and learn. I have had friends who have hiked the Camino de Santiago. The Camino de Santiago (the Way of St. James) is a large network of ancient pilgrim routes stretching across Europe and coming together at the tomb of St. James in Santiago de Compostela in north-west Spain. I follow them with interest and a bit of desire and take pride in knowing them and sharing, even vicariously, in their achievement.

Ginny

My family is becoming more and more important as I have grown older, not old. I love the moments when I talk with my sister, Ginny, on the phone. We don’t often talk of anything important, though sometimes we do, it is the talking and sharing that is important. I follow my other sister and nieces through Photo Sharing and Facebook. I can share their joys and sorrows, if not directly through all these forms of media that keep us connected across the miles. My one niece is expecting a new baby in March. Yes, I am excited, although an absentee Aunt.

Everyone continues to teach me about love, acceptance, being human and more. I have friends who stand by me through thick and thin. Others, thank you Cynthia, teach me new and old forgotten skills such as crocheting. It is not just the skill that is important, it is the gathering and conversation and sharing that is. Each friendship expands my world and teaches me value.

And lastly, there is Elsie the wandering kitty. I had fourteen years of her company. Her toys are still out and her blanket is still on the front seat. She may come back and she may not. I have been slowly working my way towards acceptance of the latter part of that statement. I am grateful for every moment I had with that little darling kitty. She taught me a lot and was quite the reluctant social butterfly. Because of her, I have met so many people in the Roadtrek and RV world. People have become my friends and I am grateful she was my introduction to some of them. Not everyone came to my rig to meet me, but because of her presence, I have met kind and wonderful people.

Now I am feeling stronger and better. Being grateful is always a good thing. Some days, like today, I need to start out small and look about me, be thankful and get myself back on track.

The wind has died down and it is time to get on that bike and ride.

I wish all of you a very Happy New Year. May it be filled with adventure and gratitude. See you next year.

 

 

 

My Summer Vacation by Elsie the Cat

After a long, long summer break I am back in my home on wheels and heading into the sunset. As usual, I am riding shot gun while Janet drives. I am not sure where we are heading, and it doesn’t matter, as long as I am going along for the ride. Janet and I, we are a team.

Three months ago, that is what Janet says, she left me and my tiny home at her sister’s in Northern New Jersey. I really don’t know where she went but I was left in this cushy home and gradually as I became braver I was able to explore the whole house. This house is a lot bigger than my tiny home on wheels. There was so much to explore.

At first I was timid and would come down the stairs and peer into the living area. There is a rug in that room that smells like catnip. It was the first thing that pulled me further into the living space. I loved rolling on that rug. If someone paid too much attention to me, I would run back upstairs to the safety of my room. I know it was my room because my toys, litter pan, food and water was there. Every kitty needs a safe place, a place to call home.

My Summer Home

After a few weeks I discovered that Ginny and Frank were really nice people and they welcomed me into their lives. I would sit on Ginny’s lap sometimes. It was warm and fuzzy place to sleep. When Frank would take naps I laid on his side or next to him. They often had the heating blanket on and it became a favorite place for me to nap.  I soon found that the blanket at the end of their bed was another great place to snooze. Us kitty’s nap often.

Ginny served me my food on blue depression glass plates. I felt very special. She gave them to Janet to take with us. I get served my meals in elegance and style, wherever I go.

They have a kitty, Kitty Lepore, who ignored me most of the time. As I got braver I would run up to her and we would both hiss and then I would run away. I don’t think she ever really liked me a whole lot. I am not sure I liked her either, but life with her was bearable. I have had some other encounters with kitties that were not so pleasant as Kitty L’s and mine. I will take her over other cats, any day.

When Janet and her friend, Phyllis (she has shoes and purses that I love to rub on) returned, the balance in the house changed. I had to get used to Janet being back in my life. She says she was gone for two months. For a little cat like me it felt like an eternity. I was just beginning to think that this house was going to be a forever home when Janet returned. As soon as I saw my little home on wheels, I was ready to get on board and travel once more.

Mid-September, Janet and I stepped into our RV and began to head west. I am back to being an adventuresome kitty. We stopped in Ohio to visit with more family. They have a kitty, Callie, we have never formally met, just stared at each other from across the room. Then we went to Chicago to visit good friends of Janet. While we were there I introduced Charlie and Thuey (more cats) to rabbit pate. It was a big hit.

Me and Percy

A few days ago we left Helen, Dave, Percy (I don’t want to even go there), and Oreo (another kitty) behind and are now heading west. They live in Lincoln, NE. I love visiting with Helen and Dave. When I arrive there is my very own personal guest basket. It has treats and toys to play with. I feel very welcomed there. I am so glad Janet has such good and kind friends. It makes life a bit easier for this little cat.

Now we are going to Flagstaff. More good friends live there and I think we might spend a few days there before departing for San Diego. Janet says I have been to this friend’s home before. I am not sure, I will have to wait and see. Having friends is a good thing.

Well the hour is getting late for this little kitty. I need to give myself a bath  before going to sleep again. You can never get enough of a good thing.

I will wake in the morning to new adventures. Bring them on.

 

 

It Is All About the Journey

A little over four years ago I began a journey in a little white Roadtrek, Rv. Little did I know it would become my permanent home, for now. It has been quite a journey for me and Miss Elsie the Cat.

As I reflect back on the beginning of this blog, yes I do go back and read entries, I recognize how far I have come. Some of those first entries were pretty raw. That is how it was during that time. Today I may still not be sure where I am going or what I am doing with the “rest of my life” yet I am out there experimenting and trying out my new wings that had to sprout after Jim’s death.

I don’t know if any answers have arrived to the many questions I had and still have today, yet I do recognize that I have grown and matured, well maybe a little. Grief is not easy. Some get through it in less time than others. I thought that three months after Jim’s death I would be done with it. I was wrong. I am able to recognize the steps I have taken. Most have been so small I don’t recognize them as they happen. I have to ponder on it and then there is this little tiny aha moment where I can see the change.

I have been traveling, this time, since early September. I have been exploring the southwestern United States. I have seen some beautiful places and amazing natural things. Nature has been at my beck and call or really, I have been at natures beck and call. I have wandered through Utah, sleeping in a tent, again, for part of the trip. I enjoyed the ruggedness and beauty of the back country. I enjoyed the company of two good friends, Mary Z and Linda, who willingly tolerated my sensitivity and stumbling. It was a good trip and one I am glad I took on.

I spent about two and a half weeks on my property in southern Colorado. The biggest decision of this trip took place while camped on the land. I have decided that 45 acres of property was more than I could take on. I was able to camp on the land and mourn the passing of this part of my life that was really Jim’s and mine.

Remember to click on the pics. It will enlarge them.

When I get back to San Diego and get the paperwork together, the land will go on the market. I am glad I spent the time I did on the property. When I made the decision to sell it, I felt relief and a sense of rightness. It makes me sad to see it go. I hope that someone else will care for it and love it as much as Jim and I did.

After Utah and Colorado, I started to visit places I had never been to before. Even more than the amazing places I have seen, the second part of this trip has been about friendships, new and old. I have met some really fun and interesting people since my arrival at Big Bend National Park. In other posts,  I have told you about a few of them.

Amazing 

&

Beautiful

                                        Places

Since Jim’s death I have withdrawn from people to a certain degree. I have learned that being around people can be exhausting. Even more than that is the fact many feel that it is time I leave my love and caring for Jim behind. But I have learned something – I can move forward in my life and bring my memories and love of Jim forward with me as I establish myself in my world as it is today. I can meet someone new if I want and the memories and love will only enrich any type of relationship I have from this moment forward. I have been forming new friendships with depth and meaning and fun. I am thankful that I am a more whole person for those memories. Will I continue to carry memories of Jim with me as I move forward? You bet. Will this stop me from forming all kinds of wonderful relationships? Nope.

Since my arrival at Big Bend I have been having fun. It is an easy and wonderful kind of fun. I thank the women and couples,  I have been meeting for helping to bring that part of myself forward. Peggy, Mary and I are all living full time in our rigs. Each of us is doing it in our own style. One designed her rig so she could sleep on the streets and no-one would suspect that it was an RV. Another travels with her dog and cat. She stays in one place for longer. I have been learning from these ladies and am very glad to have met them and the menagerie of animals that accompanies all of us. I have laughed more. I have enjoyed the easy company of these women. We all meander and we have been having fun.

Mary, Janet & Peggy * Roxie the Dog*

There are all kinds of relationships in this life. I really don’t mind having to work hard at relationships. If the relationship is good then it is worth the effort. I have been discovering the joy of easy relationships. I like the pure joy of discovering that people like me just for who I am. I can laugh easier and talk more profound with easy acceptance. I am rediscover joy. How cool is that?

Now I am getting ready to return to San Diego, for a little over two months. Elsie and I are going to move out of the RV and into a studio rental for this time period. I am looking forward to it. Although it is only a studio it will seem a bit large to the two of us. We have been living in a very small space. I am looking forward to this with excitement and a bit of fear. Ah, there it is, my friend and ally, fear. I feel that it is time to see how this feels. Is San Diego suppose to be my home? I don’t know. Staying in one place for a little while may help that knowledge to become clearer. Or, it may help me to acknowledge that I really like this lifestyle for now. I am preparing for a new part of the continuing adventure of life. It is going to be so nice to visit with my friends who have been such a major support in my life, before and since Jim’s death.

And so the journey continues. I look forward to it with anticipation and just a wee bit of trepidation. I am human. I am glad for my side kick Elsie. She is getting braver too. We reflect each other. I will continue to take you on my journey as it unfolds. Today the desert, in a few days, San Diego.

COME ON ALONG.

img_3971Hi everyone, Miss Elsie the Cat here. I finally got Janet’s permission to post to my fan club.

This little house on wheels must be a permanent thing. Janet doesn’t mention going home. This must be home. I am still adjusting to this. I miss my outdoor space. Janet tries hard to give me time out. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I also have to be on a leash. What’s with that? I remember last summer I had to be on one. It really isn’t that bad, I just don’t want Janet to know it.😏

Have I told you that there is are two dogs traveling with us? They seem OK but I am keeping my eye on them both. I don’t think any cat should trust dogs too much. When they ride in the Roadtrek with me they are either in a small green thing called a Playhouse or up front. So far this has worked out. I still keep my eye on them because I have to be ready.

One morning I was outside on my leash and the dogs came by. I ran for the bushes. Thank goodness for those big green things. I blew my tail up larger than it has ever been before. I was ready to “mean business” if I had to. Thankfully Janet and Cat kept us apart.

img956725Cat, another human, keeps coming in and out of my new home. I am not sure about her. She smells like those two dogs. She keeps trying to be friends, my eyes get big and I am not quite sure about her. I did celebrate our arrival into Oregon with the two humans. They had champagne, I took one sniff of it and decided the it wasn’t for me. Now if it had smelled like fish….

Rolling

Rolling

I have done some traveling, for a little kitty. I will have to make a list sometime of all the places I have been. As long as Janet is around I am pretty good with that. I like when I go outside and smell interesting things in the grass. I think it must be like catnip because I get down and roll and roll. I also like the dirt and sand to roll in, too.

Birds fighting over fish

Birds fighting over fish

I am still not sure of all the water and the people and the animals around. I like watching the birds. They are quick and it makes them fun to watch. One day I saw some seagulls fighting over something in the water. Janet says it was food. They were squawking and fighting.

Janet and I seem to spend more quality time together in this small house on wheels. I like that. I like it when she sprays my scratching pad with cat nip. At night while she sleeps I play with the small super balls she bought for me. I would like to say, I hope I don’t keep her up but, I am a cat, so I really don’t care too much. Maybe if she is up, we can play.🙃

Time to get back to what is important. I think it is time for a nap under the sheepskin, after I check on those two dogs.

To the Sheepskin

To the Sheepskin

 

Last Stop on the Eastward Journey

imagesYou know what is hard? It is when you have offended your pet and she is not going to let me forget it. The hardest part is that I have no idea what it is I have done. Cats!!!! Just as I think everything is OK she gives me a look with attitude and heads for the blankets. Cats!!!

I made it to Prince Edward Island yesterday. The crossing was about 70 minutes on the ferry. Now PEI has a deal. They let everyone in for free and then you have to pay to leave, either by ferry or by the Confederation Bridge. I am going to cross on the bridge and it is $45. Yow. It would have been more expensive by ferry.

Montague Harbor, PEI

Montague Harbor, PEI

This is a pretty island. It is filled with small towns and harbors and lighthouses. The first day I drove east from the ferry. It is one pretty little town after another. What is in between? Fields. Potatoes, Rye, Wheat, Corn and other grasses I did not recognize. Potatoes are big at this end of the island.

Last night I camped at a very nice RV campground right on a bay. They even offered free kayaks to use but it was raining and this morning, it was extremely windy. No kayaking today.

I ended up my day, today, with a hike in a section of Prince Edward Island National Park. It was a beautiful afternoon. This area contains an extensive and fragile coastal dune system, wetlands and different natural habitats in which numerous rare plants are found.

Parabolic Dune

Parabolic Dune

 

The parabolic dunes (crescent shaped anchored by plants and grasses) are among the most spectacular natural features in this part of the park.

 

 

The Floating Trail

The Floating Trail

 

The floating walkway was one of the reasons I chose this trail to hike on. The water on one side of the dunes is fresh and the other side is the ocean, the Gulf of Saint Lawrence. It was a wonderful hike, with plenty of photo opportunities.

 

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Janet on the Floating Trail

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Beautiful View

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Doesn’t this look like a water color?

 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow I plan to go and explore the other part of this national park. I have extended my departure date for a few days. I did not want to just drive in and drive back out.

As you may be able to tell, I am feeling much better and a bit less road weary. I want to thank you all for letting me vent in my last post. I want to make sure you know I am more than hanging in there. I am enjoying the peacefulness of this island.

Elsie

Elsie

 

 

Now it is back to Miss Elsie and see if she and I can be friends again. Cats!!!!