Tag Archives: relationships

Eight Years Ago

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Jim, my Husband died on October 17, 2012. On November 17th that same year, good friends and family and I took Jim to sea, scattering his ashes out in the Pacific Ocean on an amazingly beautiful morning. There was no planned ceremony we were friends and family who had gathered, one more time, to send him off in an intimate and loving ceremony, to wish him well.

when this anniversary arrives I set time aside to reflect and remember him, before cancer, before death. I treasure the moments I had with him. We were together for 21 years. The time was too short. The time with him was valuable. The time was fun, happy, loving and complete. I miss him.

This year, for the first time, I made it through Jim’s birthday (10/10) my birthday (10/16), and his death (10/17) with little sadness. I was staying with good friends in Boise and despite my insistence to not celebrate my birthday, we did anyway. I had a red velvet cupcake. Yummy. It helps to be with friends. It helps to feel loved and acknowledge that I am cared about and valued. It really helps to be with others.

Each year when I return to San Diego I make time to dip my feet in the Pacific Ocean and say hello to Jim. I know he is not out there, yet this is the last place I put him, so I go to greet him and visit. I think of him often. I still look upon our time together as a valued gift. I loved him for twenty-one years and I love him still. I know I can carry him forward into my future. He and our relationship has shaped who I am today and it will continue to shape who I am tomorrow.

All love is to be valued and not taken for granted. This love, this relationship-Jim and I-will never be taken for granted and it certainly was about love and understanding, laughter and friendship.

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to Jim. And hello to another year. I am still moving forward. Today I am grateful for Jim, a good twenty-one years, and the continuing love and support of so many good friends. 

 

 

 

 

 

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Once again I have successfully traversed the lower 48. I arrived in Boise Idaho about a week ago. There were a few mishaps on the way but Elsie the Cat, my rig and I have all made it in one piece.

Field of Dreams

I loved the Field of Dreams Movie site. Have you ever had a movie touch something inside of you? This movie was one of those movies for me. I thought I would spend about an hour there. Instead I signed up for a tour and spent close to three hours there, before I headed west. Truly, it wasn’t hokey. Our tour guide was excellent and he had so much trivia about the filming of the movie. It was a great tour. The only thing missing was the corn. It was barely beginning to grow.

I had always promised myself that if and when I drove cross country again I would head back to northern Nebraska and ride the roads just south of South Dakota. I rode the Bridges to Buttes Highway, the Outlaw Highway and the Lewis & Clark Highway. It was lush and green and so spring. I stayed in state park campgrounds. I have discovered that Nebraska excels in their State Park system. Both parks were beautiful. I rode my bike through one of them, ending with an amazing overlook of the Upper Missouri River. I took some time to ponder the Lewis & Clark expedition and what it must have been like to see this country without roads or bridges. They had no idea what lay ahead. Whew-a powerful moment.

Driving across the middle of this nation.

The Missouri River, Moi with a giant jackalope, Camping at Chadron State Park, NE

After a bit of a traumatic drive across Wyoming I made it to this lovely mid-size town in Idaho and my friends. I have had a wonderful week catching up.

Currently I am sitting in the Seattle airport and am on my way to Sitka, Alaska. My friend Leslie, offered me an opportunity I could not refuse so I am off on another adventure that begins today. The cruise begins on Sunday. Leslie and I will meet up later this afternoon. I have not see Leslie is a few years, at least. Yet we maintain a good friendship and I am so looking forward to catching up.

Boise Sunset

Friendships have been on my mind and close to my heart this morning. Ah a repeat theme. Here is what I know today. I feel so fortunate to have such good friends that want me in their life and want to take adventures with me. I love to travel alone. However, just as I am getting tired of my own company I am close to where a friend lives and I am invited in.

I appreciate the many ways my friends love and care for me.

  • Linda, her husband, Steve and son, Andrew are taking Miss Elsie in so I can travel north in comfort knowing she will be loved and all her cat needs will be met. Linda is also taking my rig in for appointments while I am gone. Now that is friendship.

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    Steve & Linda I Poncho the pooch

  • Leslie has gone above and beyond the call of duty arranging places for us to stay in Sitka and managing the upcoming cruise.
  • Helen and Norb, lovingly took me and El in for four days. We laughed and shared our way through this time together.
  • My sisters are always glad to see me when I show up at their door step.
  • Joy and her sister Diane invited me to be a part of a real family Easter.
  • New friends open their driveways and homes to me.
  • My San Diego community call, email and remembers me. I am very grateful for this.
  • Then there is the larger community in the Universe. I belong to the Roadtrek Facebook Page. These people support me along my solo journey. I know I can always reach out to them, if I have questions or need help.

These are just a few examples of my experiences with people within my immediate friend environment and those beyond who I have not met yet.  It gives me faith in humankind. I believe there is a lot of good out there in the world. Sometimes I need to put my inner critic aside and see people for just who they are. On the whole I think most people in this world are pretty darn amazing.

I want to take time here, to thank everyone, those I remember and those who silently cheer me on, for all of your ongoing love, caring and support. It makes me flow through my day and adventures a bit easier, knowing that so many are silently or verbally cheering me on. Even if I am alone, the truth of it is, is that I am not truly alone. People wait for my photos. People wait for my blogs. People wait for me.

Today I am grateful for humankind.

Acts of Loving Kindness

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imagesThis past week I finally met my new neighbor. Gavin Jay was born about two weeks ago. I had to wait until I was over a cold and my broken ankle casted before I could venture next door to meet this little one. He is such a new baby, all soft and warm and, well, new.

JJ and Athena are developing into such loving parents. While I was visiting, Athena prepared to breast feed. JJ came up behind her and pulled her long hair back to help in the preparation. This was a small moment in time. This one small and rather unremarkable act drew my attention. It was such  loving thing for him to do. In that one small act I witnessed the love they have for each other. It made me think of all those moments that we easily let slide by without acknowledgement.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a couple doing these touching acts. I believe these acts are given to us every day, sometimes by total strangers. Because they are brief moments in time, frequently they go by unnoticed. I wonder what our individual worlds would be like if we acknowledged each of these acts.

Jim and I had a very strong and loving relationship. As I look back I believe both of us took the time to acknowledge these small daily acts. I feel that this was a part of what made our relationship so strong.

Since I broke my ankle I have begun to take the time to acknowledge the large and small acts that my friends and people I don’t know well are doing for me. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for these on-going moments. What have they been doing? Here is a sampling.

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  • Janet has been kindly driving me to my orthopedic appointments. We use the driving time to catch up. I hope she finds it as enjoyable as I do. She also borrowed a wheelchair from her church so it was easier for me to get around my home.
  • Nancy came over right after this happened and fixed the netting on the fence in my back yard so Miss Elsie the cat could go outside without leaving the yard. I don’t know if Elsie is thankful for this, I know I am.
  • Yvonne showed up the Monday after my event in the desert with a sampling of foods from Trader Joes and good conversation. She also took over a three day tour I was suppose to do the week after I broke my ankle. I am so thankful for her willingness to take this on at the last minute.
  • Phyllis has been coming over about twice a week. She has been helping me pack boxes and moving them to the shed, so that I can clear the house before the painters come in early April. She also has been schlepping me to doctors appointments. It is another good time for us to catch up. She continues to be a good friend.

  • A New Way to Get Around

    A New Way to Get Around

    Gary, who I had not met until last Monday, offered up his knee scooter so I could get around even easier. I love this scooter. I need to make sure that I am careful on it. It is kind of fun to go fast. Gary and Penny drove down from Orange County. We went out to lunch and the time flew by. I felt like I had known these two for much longer.

  • My neighbors are taking in and out the trash cans. I go to visit Kelly and Jeff and their two toddlers. I am always welcomed with open arms.
  • JJ, my other neighbor (with the baby) has offered to help finish up a couple of projects in my yard, started pre-broken ankle.
  • Tomorrow several people I know from work, yoga (the teacher), and long time friends are coming to help me move things out of the house for the paint job. I have learned that if I ask for what I need, people are more than willing to give of their time to help out. I feel very fortunate.

The above list is just a small demonstration of what others have been doing for me. I am so grateful for each and every act of kindness and caring. It makes my heart feel full and brings emotion forward. I am grateful.

I want to remember to do this for others. If I find it so touching, then others may also. Sometimes I believe that small daily acts of kindness and love are all any of us can do. We are all in this world together and sometimes all we can do is give of ourselves to each other. And I end here with a quote from Ram Dass.

“We’re all just walking each other home.”

Baba Ram Dass

Baba Ram Dass