Jim at work

After Jim died I started to plan a Memorial for him, even though he asked me not to. I thought a service might help create closure for those who needed it.

Three friends, Therese, Barbara and Tammy took this project on. Jim and I loved yoga. The first time I went to a class after he died I had one of those “ah ha” moments. I realized that I could not go through with the idea of a service. It was not Jim and it was not me. I put a halt to it before it got too big and  took on a life of it’s own.

Tammy suggested starting a scholarship at Grossmont College in his name. this seemed like such a fine way of honoring him. The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship was founded. Jim had such a dedication to students and his employees and education was a major part of most of his adult life. This felt like a more appropriate way of honoring this very fine man.

Who receives this scholarship? Jim had many interests in life, I decided to focus on 2 of them. I set up this scholarship so that it would alternate recipients. One semester it goes to someone who has committed themselves to an Associate Degree in the Fine Arts. The first scholarship went to a woman who is getting her degree in Theater Costuming. How cool is that. The alternating scholarship Recipient will go to someone who is working towards a Bachelors degree in the Social Sciences. Each scholarship has specific requirements that need to be met.

Jim

I want to attempt to make this a perpetual scholarship. Perpetual means that if I can raise enough money this scholarship will fund itself and will remain in existence long after I have moved on. I like this idea. However, I need to raise $25,000. I have discovered I know nothing about fund raising.

When I had lunch with my friend, Chris, from Philadelphia she suggested that I put this question out to all of my blog readers. Here is my question to all of you. Do know have suggestions on how to fund raise for this worthy cause? I know there have to be fund raisers out there among you. So please step forward and give me your ideas.

If you would like to donate to the scholarship, well you can do that as well. Each time I get notice of someone else who has donated it touches me right to the core of my heart.

Here is the information on how to donate.

To contribute, please make checks payable to:
Grossmont College,
mention this is for The Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship

Mail contributions to:
Selam Gebrekristos
Scholarship Specialist
Financial Aid Office
8800 Grossmont College Dr
El Cajon, CA 92020-1799

Contributions are tax deductibles

I want to make sure that each of you realizes that I am not asking for money. I am asking for your ideas and creativity on how to fund raise. I am anxious to see your suggestions. Get your thinking caps on and get those ideas flowing.

Janet & Jim

Salmon Falls

Wednesday I left New England. I did a great drive across the back roads of NY state ending on the shores of Lake Ontario. I have spent the last two nights near Pulaski, New York. Thanks to a new friend, I have seen a few of the sites of this area and enjoyed the company of Pauline, Harris and their dog Nugget.

Janet & Diane

Before I left New England I spent three days with a very long time friend of mine and her family. I met Diane in my first move away from home. I chose to leave the small state of Delaware and moved to Salt Lake City, Utah. Diane and I worked together as nurses. I don’t recall that we were real close friends in Utah, although when I got hepatitis I do remember that she brought me Gatorade. When we both moved to Minnesota our friendship became solid. We hiked, camped and backpacked most summers and had our share of interesting and exciting events along the way. Tom and she have visited Jim and I over the ensuing years. I have had the opportunity to watch her two children grow into fine adults with the same adventuresome spirit their parents have. I have cried on her shoulder a few times and I am very thankful to have someone in my life that I can do that with.

Loon

During the time I visited with them I had the opportunity to hike and kayak with Tom and Diane. It was so enjoyable to be out on the lakes. We got observe some unique loon behavior between the adults and the babies. We also saw some otters. I love my friends who are active. This is what Jim and I did best and I am glad to have friends who also like to be outdoors and enjoy nature.

Covered Bridge

Since I was in Vermont I decided that I wanted to become totally touristy. I went searching for covered bridges to drive my Roadtrek through when possible. If it wasn’t possible then I photographed them instead. It was fun. Diane was my photographer and my guide driving the RT through the bridges.

Each place I go to visit friends I find it so hard to leave. I love having this time to visit with so many. I am thankful for my friends who can take time from their busy lives for me. It touches my heart to know that everyone wants to see me and spend time with me.

Tomorrow, Thursday, I continue to head west. I am feeling a bit of an urge to head home. I was wondering when that might happen.

Loons

Diane, Tom & kayaks

Diane, Karen, Tom

Morning on the Lake

I was not planning to post again this soon. Today I found out that friends of mine have lost their 19 year old son in a car accident. It immediately struck a deep chord within me. I do and do not know their feelings. This moment in their lives will be full of so many feelings. This I do know. I also know that no parent should have to lose their child. There is something not right in this and yet it happens. If you can think a little bit of Tim and Sandy today and in the weeks ahead. They may not know you but energetically all those loving thoughts will hold them up and support them. This I do know.

Jim & Janet, English Country Dancing

I want to tell you about my husband Jim. A major part of the reason I am on this journey is due to his and my struggles over the past years and I want you to know him, just a little. I met Jim dancing. We are folk dancers and when I first saw him on the dance floor I noticed his marvelous blue eyes right away. I also noticed he stood tall and straight and boy could he balance & swing. After dances on Friday nights a group of us would go to the City Deli for coffee and goodies. Jim always sat next to me and although we had conversations none of them were ever finished.

Fast forward a year. I was getting ready to join the Traveling Nurse Corp and was packing up my apartment to move. It had been hot and I had been walking the beach most evenings. One night with the help of his former girlfriend, Leslie, I phoned him and invited him to walk the beach with me. Within a half hour he was at my door and we went walking. I remember him riding the roller coaster even though he was afraid of them.

I moved out to Albuquerque as a traveling nurse. Within two weeks this man was at my door. We started a long distance relationship. It was so much fun to have someone to explore with. It was so much fun to discover who I was becoming through another person’s eyes. At the end of 3 months Jim wanted me to move back to San Diego and in with him. I did not feel ready. I went up to the mountains and meditated and thought. One day, I know it sounds totally weird, I heard a voice tell me that Jim and this relationship would be one of the most challenging and yet rewarding experiences of my life. I came off the mountain and called him and told him I was coming home at the end of the month.

February 4, 1991 I moved into some of the best moments of my life. Jim and I had a very unique and special relationship. We were connected in a way that I never thought would happen to me or anyone else. We fit so easily together. We both loved to travel and challenge ourselves. Even though we both knew there was a specialness to the relationship it was through others that it was acknowledged. Deana, our realtor and friend has said more than once she has never seen two people talk and communicate with such honesty and openness. I think we often did this because we were so concerned about hurting each other. There are many levels to a relationship and I really thrived with Jim. It is not saying we did not have moments when we argued but they were few a far between and neither of us would let that moment go without sorting it out.

Here are some of my remembered qualities of this wonderfully eclectic man.

• Jim was a very eclectic and intelligent man. He was an avid reader and was able to process and retain knowledge and then use it to help others.
  

  The Reader

• As a counselor and a Dean of Counseling he often had to make difficult and not always favorable decisions. Even though people who worked for him might get mad at the decisions he made, they never did not like him.
• He was so well respected at Grossmont College where he worked for 24 years.
• He was a good friend and valued his friendships above all else.
• Jim loved to read and had a natural curiosity about life and all that was in it.
• He loved to go to the movies with his buddies and watch the thin in plot, big in special effects movies.
• He was kind and caring with all people and animals.
• He loved a good or bad joke. I have to admit I never fully understood his humor. It didn’t matter and I laughed anyway.
• He was very athletic. He ran with ease. One of his friends, Henry, said that Jim never trained for the races they ran and yet Henry never once outran him in a race. The last race they did Henry thought he would finally finish before Jim. A mile or so before the finish here came Jim loping by him to the finish. Henry trained, Jim rarely did.
• Jim loved to bike, kayak, hike and any other physical exercise.
  

  Hiking in San Diego County

• He encouraged me in so many ways, with my art work, with my dancing, and was behind me all the way when I chose to leave nursing and find a new profession.
• I liked that he would be able to put on his “counseling hat” when I needed advice.
• Like I said in an earlier post, when approached with an issue he would take the time to think about it, consider the options, pick the one he felt was most right, act on it and complete whatever the project was.
• He was an introvert. He loved people but needed time away.
• Because he knew he was an introvert he chose to go into the theater and challenge himself to meet people and become more. He was part of a Mime Theater Group in San Francisco and also acted with other companies in the LA area. He had often mentioned that he might like to do this again in retirement. Sigh
• He was afraid of heights. To challenge this, when he turned 50, he went to Circus School in the “Haight” and went out on the Flying Trapeze. I laid on the ground and took photos. Not only did he go out on the trapeze, 25 feet up, he was caught by a professional and swung to another trapeze. He liked it so much he went to a trapeze school nearer home and did this twice more.
• his mother once told him he was arrogant. We laughed about this but there were times he was.
• there were moments of stubbornness.
• He loved to make things. We built two doll houses and  2-16 foot kayaks.
• He worked with stain glass.
• He brewed Beer and as far as he was concerned, there was nothing better than a good dark stout.
• Jim was fascinated by magic. He never wanted to know how it was done. He liked the mystery of it all.
• He loved anything to do with space. Twice Jim attended Space Camp for adults in Alabama.
• He was in awe of the sky.  I learned so much about the stars from him. We would go to the desert and camp and see some pretty amazing things in the sky.
• We climbed an old growth Douglas Fir and slept 25o feet off the ground.
• He was a dancer. He practiced ballet, tap and jazz for many years. After I met him we bacame very involved in the Scottish Country Dance group. He looked so fine in a kilt. LOL
  

  Scottish Ball Catalina Island

• Jim loved cars. He had a 2000 BMW Z3 that he more than loved. Not only did he take very fine care of it he also read and knew about this car. He loved to detail it. My car was also the recipient of his detailing love.
• He liked to watch The Simpsons and Star Trek.
• He built jet and helicopter models. Nine of these models are on display at the Annex to the San Diego Air & Space Museum.
• If he did not know something he would research it and learn as much as he could about it.
• He did yoga until the day he died. The last week of his life when he was in the hospital I helped him do yoga every night before he went to sleep.
• I always thought he was comfortable in his soul. For me he was spirit.
• He was a cat lover.
• Jim loved people and he brought the best out in everyone.
• I personally know that this man walked this world with grace. There were very few who did not like him and respect him.    I loved him.

WHAT ARE YOUR MEMORIES OF JIM?

Ready to Fly with Baja AirVentures

Kayaking on the Hudson River

Newly Shaved Head

I very carefully backed out of the car port Saturday morning, picked up my blocks and headed out. I am now on the road north. Last night I camped somewhere in Virginia. I am not totally sure of where I was and that was just fine with me.

Janet, Brittany, Tripp

Before I left NC I had an extra special treat. I met up with my niece, Brittany and her husband, Tripp. We met at a Presbyterian Meeting town or camp called Montreat. Britt used to attend before she went to college and then began to work there. I have heard of this area for years and it was so lovely. We did a hike, with stairs (I hate stairs) to a lookout sits of the surrounding area. Yes Zoe, I got a vista. What was most delightful was that I got to spend time with these 2 wonderful young people. It was a very good morning.

Vanderbilt Estate, NC

Virginia Countryside

After wandering around the town of Black Mountain I started the drive north and east. Last night I camped in the wilderness and I loved the quiet. I appreciate the moments in between visits. It allows me to regroup and get ready for the next act of gratitude. It is not always easy to be so up front with my feelings. Yet I love the fact they are so close to the surface. The regrouping time is important and I am thankful for that as well.

Nancy

Nancy, another San Diegan, has been my friend since I moved to San Diego. We have had wonderful times together and some rough ones as well. Our friendship has endured through it all. Friendships do not always need to be easy but the good ones endure and ours has. We have known each other for 28+ years.  That is a long time. She has been my hiking buddy, a good travel companion and a confidant. Jim was an introvert and he did not always feel comfortable around all people. He always felt comfortable around Nancy and I appreciate knowing that. Even though her life is often busy she has always found time for me, a phone call, a quick visit and sometimes just e-mail. Even better, is that Elsie, the cat has always liked her. She often runs and hides from guests but not Nancy. Elsie thinks she is better than OK and so do I. So thank you Nancy for being there and being so supportive to both Jim and myself. I look forward to more adventurous times with you. (I know you are reading this blog).

Right now I am in Charlottesville, VA, home to our third president Thomas Jefferson. he was certainly quite the man. I have been to Monticello numerous times and have been always so impressed about what an intellectually eclectic man he was. This is beautiful country, rolling hills and farms.

I am on my way to the small town of North Beach, MD to visit a friend I have known since high school, Joy. It is going to be nice to be back along the salt water coast.

This  morning I am thankful for the couple who took time out of celebrating their anniversary to helped me put my cute little RT on blocks last night so I could have an even and balanced night in my RT.

Janet & Jim on a very chilly morning in Yellowstone National Park.

There was once a woman (me) who decided to change up her life. Due to circumstances beyond her control, change came whether she was ready or not.

She went out and bought herself a small, very cute Roadtrek Agile SS RV, packed it up and took off to see the country. She wanted to meet up with friends near and far and and get lots of hugs. She really wanted to thank all these people for their support and kindness they had given to her over the past challenging three years.

Waiting for Janet, Gloss Mts, Ok

She traveled to Arizona and Colorado renewing friendships and seeing the sights. This woman found that she really liked living in her cool little RV. She traveled and camped through Oklahoma, Arkansas and Mississippi learning more and more each day about camping and sleeping and making her RV work. She took time to explore and learn new things, remembering to get out and stretch frequently. It was fun to see all these places she had never seen before. She was happy most of the time.

Snuggled In

After visiting family in Florida and a good friend in the “Peach State” of  Georgia she arrived in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Very good friends awaited her arrival and were so excited when she finally knocked on their door.  But…what to do with that cute little RV?  First they tried Kay’s house but the carport was too short.  Oh no, what were they to do?  They drove the cute little RV over to Zoe’s and they drove it very carefully, with a little shouting and encouragement into the carport. It went in easily.  Wait a minute it was not level. Out came the blocks. They were placed under the tires on the right side. With a very slow drive forward and Zoe’s good directions the RT was balanced and even, with an inch of room to spare.  One inch.

Now the neighbors saw this and were amazed.  How did they ever get this cute little RV in there, they wondered.  And the cute Roadtrek became the talk of the neighborhood.

A Closer Look