Category Archives: Family

A Year of Travel & Attempting to Plan

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I don’t like to plan. I am a last-minute planner. I figure that everything will work itself out and no matter where I am or what I am doing, I will love it to the best of my ability. Vacations and life are an adventure, after all.

People ask me what is next and I often reply “I don’t know”. I think that response bothers others more than it does me, although, it makes me edgy and uncomfortable because I really don’t know what is next.

This year I am planning three trips. Whoa, what? Planning? Janet is planning? Yes, I am, to the best of my ability. Whew. Some require more planning than others.

Where am I going?

Trip One-Heading East

  • My rig and I are heading east. It has been almost four years since I have seen my family and east coast friends due to Covid. I decided it was time to go visit.
  • This feels like a similar trip to the first trip I made in my RV all those many years ago, in 2013. I expect this trip to be a bit different. That first trip was made out of grief and desperation and need. I needed love and support. After ten years the grief has settled and I have found my way toward acceptance. Ah. Not that I still don’t need love and support.
  • My first major stop will be in Englewood, Florida. I have very good and dear friends there and look forward to seeing them. How long will I stay there? I don’t know.
  • I will make my way up the east coast, visiting friends as I travel north to New Jersey.
  • New Jersey will be my first lengthy stop with family. My sister and her husband live on the lake where my sisters and I spent our summers growing up. As Ginny says, “the door is always open”.

Trip two-Brazil and the Amazon

  • Brazil and the Amazon River are calling. A small group of friends and soon-to-be friends are traveling the Rio Negro and Amazon Rivers. Birds, wildlife, music, and friendship. Who could ask for more?
  • This trip will be more concise. Some of the planning has already been completed. I had been procrastinating on making my flight reservations from New Jersey to Florida, where we meet up prior to flying to Brazil. With the encouragement of my friend Mary, I finally made the reservation while we were in Mexico in January.

After that trip, it is back to New Jersey and family and friends and summer on the lake. But wait, there is more.

Trip Three-Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Newfoundland, and beyond.

  • As I make my way north through New England I will visit friends in Vermont and Maine.
  • I will be joining my friend Cori and we are off to explore the Maritime Provinces. Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and New Foundland. This is an interesting dilemma. Cori and I don’t like to plan. Shoot there is no one to take the lead. I am sure we will work it out. And as Cori says, since she has never been there before she will like whatever she sees. Definitely a beginner-mind attitude.

After trip three, I give up. No more planning for me. I will wander my way west to visit friends as I move. When will I return west? Before the snow flies. I just don’t like crossing mountain passes in the winter. As you know, I really don’t like to winterize my rig.

What happens between all these waypoints is totally up to me. I hope to find new places to explore and be amazed at. Maybe I will visit other friends I have not mentioned here. Maybe I will make new friends as I move east. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe-it is totally up to me.

March twenty-first is my departure date. I have one more trip to Santa Barbara. My rig needs a once over and Dan, all things Roadtrek, is in Santa Barbara. I will start my east coast adventure from one of the furthest land points in the lower forty-eight. It will be a true west-to-east adventure.

Currently, I am finishing things up in San Diego. Repeat labs were normal and that is good. A dental cleaning is done and the report was mostly good. Whew. I am visiting with friends and spending time cleaning out my storage unit. It is work. It is time I need to prepare.

The first two months of the New Year has brought me amazement and adventure. I hope to continue the adventure for the rest of the year and you can come along for the ride. You are always welcome.

My Mother & the Crows

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October fourteenth would have been my mother’s one hundred and tenth birthday. It is hard to believe that she has been gone for thirty years. That is a long time to not have my mother here.

My mother was an amazing woman. She traveled as a single woman when it was not a common thing for an unattached woman to do. My father and she married in their late thirties. I was born, the youngest of three when she was forty-two. She managed a household of three daughters, three grandparents, my dad and numerous cats and fish. She was a “Stay at Home Mom” before the term was popular. She worked hard. She always had time for all of us. Her faith was important to her as was the several gardens she maintained. She was a kind, compassionate and fun mother.

My mom died shortly after Labor Day in her eightieth year. When I was visiting the summer before her death, she mentioned to me that the “Spirit Babies” were in the backyard. When I questioned her further, I learned there was a family of crows that she had been watching grow through the spring and into the summer. She had named them the Spirit Babies.

A few years prior my sister had given me a small painting of two crows sitting in a grove of aspen. It was called “The Spirits”. According to some Native American traditions and tales, the crow is believed to be the messenger between the seen and unseen worlds. Crow medicine is strong medicine.

Shortly after Labor Day, my mother died after a long illness. I wrote a letter to her and included one of the crow feathers from the backyard with the letter. I tucked it in her casket.

My mother was buried in northern New Jersey. As we were preparing for the drive north from Delaware, I noticed my father had laid a crow feather on top of his overcoat, lying in the back seat of the car. I asked him what he was going to do with the feather. He said he wasn’t sure, so I suggested that he put it on her casket at the graveside. And so it was.

After the graveside service, we went to lunch with friends and family. Before my sisters and my dad and I headed to “The Lake”, my dad wanted to return to the cemetery. I drove with him. When we arrived we got out of the car. There were a dozen or more crows in the trees over my mother’s grave. As we stood there the crows lifted up in the air and flew. I was in awe. My father was too. I believe this was my mother’s farewell. I like to believe that she is now one of those messengers.

Since that time I have met up with my mom on occasion. When I am struggling and I wish she was here so I could talk with her, a crow often shows up. It may sit on a light post or a fence and well, crow. It is comforting to me to feel my mother’s presence. It is comforting to know she is still supporting me.

Do I believe that those who have died can appear in other forms? Does this side of spirituality exist? Over the years I realize that the answer to these questions is not really important. What is important is for me to accept comfort and support and guidance that is offered, no matter what form that may take. If having my mother there in another form is comforting and helps ease my journey through this life, then that is enough.

Today I am thankful for the years I had with my mother. I am grateful for her ongoing presence in my world. Today I am thankful for crows.

Open Arms

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My friend, Sharon’s birthday was a success. It was rather warm when I arrived in Rockville, Utah, 105 degrees F. Whoa, that is more than hot. I know, I know, it’s a dry heat—yet I believe anything over 90 degrees is hot.

I am always delighted to connect with this family. Tori, Sharon’s daughter, and I have not seen each other in many years. It was fun to reconnect with her. It was almost like we had never been apart. This is family. Everyone goes their own way as they grow into adulthood yet when they have reunited once again, everyone picks up where they left off. I am honored to be even a distant part of this family.

The day of the party started out hot, yet as the time for the party drew close the clouds came in, there was rain and then it was cool and lovely to be outside under a pavilion to celebrate this 90-year event. There was music and food and greetings of friends who, due to Covid, may have not seen each other in a while. A chair was set at the entrance for Sharon to sit in and greet and be greeted by the revelers. My favorite photos are of Sharon reaching out with open arms to greet each guest as they arrived.

There is delight and warmth and welcome in those open arms. These arms are not just to greet those with like minds and like ideals. These are truly the open arms of embracing community. Not all the people at Sharon’s birthday party believe like her. Not all of them voted one way. Not all of them are intimate in friendship with each other. Yet, in this small town, population of approximately 245, there is a sense of community that is often lost in larger urban settings. They know that they have to get along to some degree to make their small town work. During Covid, they knew they had to rely on each other to make their sheltering in place work. Smaller towns recognize the need for a sense of community. It is a survival mechanism.

Over the past several years I believe that we as a nation have withdrawn into our familiars. We have forgotten how to reach out to each other and embrace despite differences in religion, political beliefs, the color of one’s skin, and more. Embracing differences may be more work but the rewards are, well, more rewarding. Community can only work if we embrace everyone.

Covid, or “The Great Pause”, I believe has offered an opportunity for people to function as a richer community. People have been reaching out, helping others. I have been the recipient of others’ embraces. I was welcomed by friends to stay with them for the greater part of last year. Our friendship has strengthened and we have become family. Others have opened their homes for me. Strangers have left supplies at my door. People have phoned or emailed to make sure this solo person was doing fine.

If I take the time to reach out to those that believe or do things differently, my life will be richer and fuller. I will learn new things and expand the world that I live in. I want to know that I don’t have to be stuck. I want to know that my arms can always reach out and embrace the new, the unknown. I also want to recognize when other arms are reaching towards me. Part of healing the divide of this nation, at the moment, may be remembering to open our arms and embrace everyone.

I am slowly returning to the Northwest. I am keeping my arms wide open to embrace people and experiences and remember this valuable lesson.

Going Solo, Well Not Really

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An Idaho Summer

Just before I arrived in Idaho this summer I had a text conversation with Linda, who has opened her and her husband’s second home to me. She was concerned about me coming to Idaho. Covid-19 was on  upsurge in the state and she was concerned. Linda’s statement to me was she wasn’t sure I would have allies up here. I told her as a single or solo person I can’t rely on having any allies.

Guess who was wrong? Me. A week after I arrived in Idaho I got sick. I had a sore throat, it was really sore. After spending a weekend self-treating I decided a visit to the clinic associated with St Lukes Hospital was in hand. I was apprehensive. I worried that I had Covid-19. I was worried that I could have infected others. I was worried that things could get worse. I was disappointed in myself that I had exposed myself to this ugly virus. I was feeling alone.

I had a car appointment. I wore a mask and never got out of my car. The NP who saw me was gowned, gloved, and masked. My whole visit was conducted without moving from the driver’s seat. My heart rate was a little high and I received the lecture about drinking enough water at elevation. My throat was red and sore.

I was tested for strep which was negative and then for Covid-19. I was told I should self isolate until the results came back. Three days later the results were in and I was negative for the coronavirus. Yes!!! I am happy to report I am back in full working order and what was a scary moment in time is now in the past.

My friends came to the rescue. I notified Linda that this was happening. She immediately texted me and told me to hang tight. Over the next few days until the results came in we texted back and forth. Her support was a comfort to me and made me realize I am not alone. My sister, Ginny, was in touch and anxiously waiting for the results with me. Friends in Oregon, Mary, and Wanda, awaited the news and supported me via social media. Hmmm, I was not alone. I have allies.

Kayaking the North Fork of the Payette River

This event has made me realize I am never alone, not really. I have friends and allies all over the country and world who continue to love and support me and encourage me when I feel the most vulnerable and worn down. I have friends who support and celebrate with me when life is on an upswing. I have friends who make me realize I am not alone. I may be solo and adventuring out on my own but I carry all these people with me, in my everyday life. They are only a phone call away.

This summer I am up in the mountains. I am safe. I am biking, kayaking, hiking and taking plenty of photos. I am social distancing and wearing a mask. I am taking care of myself as best I can. And I am not doing it alone. I have allies.

Today I am thankful for my immediate family and my family of friends who love and support me, no matter what.

Family

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In 1952 I was blessed to be born into a loving, caring and teaching family. For several years our extended family, two grandmothers, and a grandfather lived in our home. I have been thinking of my birth family often this past month.

Since my early twenties, I have been “on my own”, living far from all of them. I have always been a bit of a wanderer and decided early to use my career, as an RN to travel and live in different parts of the United States. After living for three to five years in each place, I would pick a new place, get a job and move.  I settled in southern California. I obtained my Masters in Holistic Health Education, and at the end of five years, just as I was getting ready to move on, I met Jim, my friend, partner, lover and husband and settled into the San Diego region.

Janet & Jim

Jim died in 2012, and in June of 2013, I bought my RV and my life as a nomad began again. The house is now sold and I live in my RV full time. It is small and comfortable and for right now it is home. I have traveled all over the United States and parts of Canada and have embraced this lifestyle to the best of my ability.

Although I have had curiosity and fondness for everywhere I have visited or traveled, I return again and again to the desert southwest and anywhere from the Rocky Mountains and west. I love the wide-open spaces, the quiet, the stillness and the breathtaking moments of awareness.

Enter the Coronavirus and I am in San Diego. I am staying with good friends. I am recovering from treatment for thyroid cancer. Cynthia is recovering from foot surgery. We are all helping each other. I have stayed in touch with my local San Diego friends thanks to Zoom and Facetime. We have been doing driveway meetups, practicing the art of virtual hugs (not as good as the real thing) and sitting at least six feet apart. It has helped to break the isolation that my solo friends are experiencing. I have a strong and good family of friends.


Since I have been sheltering in place, I miss my birth family. Despite our differences, I miss the family I was born into. My sisters live in different places, one in northern New Jersey, and one in Ohio. I know they do not live close but they seem to be in reaching distance of each other. I am not. The three of us have had one Zoom meetup and that has helped. I want to arrange a Zoom meeting with them on an ongoing basis. It is comforting to see them and just sit and chat and listen. My oldest sister and I call back and forth. I look forward to those times when we talk.Families are a big messy affair even if there are only a few siblings. We can argue, we can disagree, we can laugh, share stories, and enjoy moments in time. Even at our worst times, we are still family.

In mid-March, my one niece (in Ohio) gave birth to a beautiful little girl. My NJ sister and I got to meet her, thanks to Zoom. I would love to embrace and hold that little bundle. I would enjoy a hug from family, actually from anyone. My other niece and her daughter, Quinn, live in New Jersey near my oldest sister.

My Ohio niece, Brittany, loves family. She once said to me that if it was up to her she would have a compound of homes and all of her family would live there. She has been instrumental in drawing me back into the lives of my family. I remain grateful to her, for the ability to do this and include all of us.

 

As I sit here on a gray Sunday morning, my friends are downstairs listening to their church service. One of the hymns I heard wafting upstairs was:

“For the Beauty of the Earth”. The third refrain is the one that struck a chord in me at this moment of time. “For the joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child, Friends on earth and friends above, For all gentle thoughts and mild. Lord of all to thee we raise, This our hymn of grateful praise.”

Today I am thankful for all my family, friends, strangers and acquaintances. Today I am thankful for recognizing the longing to see and talk to my sisters and nieces. I am glad they are all safe and sheltered in place. I am thankful to be able to reach out over the miles and remind myself to be very thankful for a loving and strong birth family.