Category Archives: Feeling Grateful

Finding Joy in Small Successes

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There are moments in my life when I take great pride in my accomplishments and moments when I find joy in this continuing journey. I like feeling proud and accomplished for a job well done. It is good to stretch my knowledge and experience and know I can do more and be more. Feeling accomplished leads to feeling joyful. I attempt to look for those moments, large or small, that offer me the feeling of joy.

I have had a slow leak in the rear tire of my road bike. To deal with it, I pumped it up at the beginning of a ride and hoped it would still be OK after fifteen miles. I have been doing this for a while, and it has worked. Two days ago, I was out riding the Bay, and the tire was too soft after ten miles. Finally, I had to address this situation.

My Bike Feeling Picturesque

Before Jim died, I would have gone to him, and he would fix anything with my bike or car. If I had a flat while cycling, all it took was one phone call, and Jim would arrive to rescue me. Now, I have to think about calling Lyft or fixing that tire on the fly. That sounds easy, but changing a tire, especially a rear one, requires time, patience, and muscle.

Yesterday, I decided to change the tube on that tire. I did not have all the necessary tools; where did that bike tool set go? With the help of one tire tool and a few kitchen tools (the mother of invention), I successfully changed the inner tube and was up for a 15-mile ride around the bay.

Pride, oh yes, I feel proud. Whenever I tackle something independently and succeed, I feel proud of myself. I also know that the correct tools will be present next time, making it easier for me to accomplish this task. This is good pride. This is joy.

Joy has been on my mind often lately. I have been considering what gives me joy every day. What are the little things that make me smile each day? Yesterday, successfully changing that tire was a moment of joy at a well-done task. Pride and Joy.

Yesterday, I was at Starbucks, and one of the baristas came by to give me a free sample of Christmas coffee and bread. It made me smile and feel special. Joy at work.

What has brought me joy as I traveled over the past spring and summer? Friends, oh yes, Friends. My life would be so lonely without the love and support of new and long-time friends. I met people on Vancouver Island this summer who have invited me back to visit and live with them. How cool is that? I have people who have embraced me and made me feel treasured and valued. They have invited me into their homes and driveways, making me feel unique and loved. That is definitely Joy.

Unlimited joy, large and small, has come in the form of a little brown bird, Birdie Boy. When I think of my time in the Northwest, I immediately think of Whidbey Island, Jim and Sandy, Robyn and Tom. They think I am wonderful, and the feeling is mutual.

Mostly, I think of Birdie Boy.

How can a little brown song sparrow infuse me with such joy? How can Birdie Boy still remember me two years later? How can he express such joy at seeing me again? He leads his own life, yet I show up, and his and my world stop. We met on the deck in the spring of this year. He sat atop my computer screen and chitted at me non-stop. We had a lot to catch up on. My heart expands with great and small joy when I think of all my encounters with him. Who knew this little brown bird would be so crucial in my healing from the loss of Jim twelve years ago

I love my camera. I love being out in the wild, taking photos of birds, animals, and just about anything. Nature always cheers me up. My photos can bring me such joy. I love looking through my pictures and picking out my favorite of the day.

Socks…New socks! A few days ago I bought 3 pair of new socks. I love putting them on. I love their colors. Their softness is delightful. New soft cushy socks equals joy.

I must note those moments of accomplishment and joy in my life. When things look a little dark or sad, I find that if I can recall one moment of pleasure in the day I am in or from the past, my mood lightens, and things don’t look as bad. Finding joy, no matter how small, reminds me of life’s magic. It helps me take another step forward and often reminds me that I am not alone.

What are your small or significant moments of joy?

What have you accomplished that has made you feel joyful and proud? Please share in the comments. I would enjoy seeing them in print.

Today, I am Thankful. I am grateful for my friends. I am thankful for the little and big moments of success in a job well done. I am thankful for any wee moments of joy in my life.

Today, I am Thankful.

Personal Growth and Gratitude: Reflecting on My Volunteer Experience

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I am beginning my third week of volunteering at Washington State Parks, and my last day is Monday.

It has been an interesting two-plus weeks. I have met many people, Americans, Canadians, Belgians, and others from all over the Americas, Europe, and the Asian Continent. I have enjoyed these moments in time and have had many delightful conversations about their visit to the park, their homes, jobs and joy of being out doors.

I am also exhausted physically and maybe a bit emotionally. I feel like I am peopled out. I work about four hours a day, and by the end of the four hours, I return to my rig, stare at the computer screen, and do nothing.

I am a member of the Sisterhood of Widows Facebook page. It is a private group that is for women who have lost their partners. When I chose to help my friend Tina through the loss of her husband, I was introduced to this group. Below is a recent post that made me stop in my tracks. It struck a strong chord of truth for me.

“Trauma survivors often get in the habit of spending a lot of time alone because alone is Safe—relatively anyway. Alone is controllable. We understand alone. We don’t have to stress about alone. 

People are unpredictable. When we are alone, there is less risk to manage.”

Since my husband’s death, I have spent most of my time alone. I travel to the wild outback countries of the United States, Canada, and more by myself. Since my cat Elsie disappeared in 2019, I have traveled alone. I spend much of my days and evenings by myself, and I am comfortable.

I enjoy rich conversations with people, friends, and strangers in small and intimate doses, and then I return to being alone again. Sometimes, I meet up with friends and camp for several days. I love the company and conversation. Even in these group situations, I have time alone to recover the silence that has been such a part of my life since Jim’s death.

Over the past few years, I have recognized that for my mental health, it is time to enter the world of people. Part of the reason I took this volunteer position was to be more involved in the world of people. When this position appeared, knowing it was a limited-time position, I decided this was a good way to try out the world of people again.

I am sure I will learn many things from this three-week volunteer position. I have learned that I need to manage my dose of people. Being around people for four or more hours a day consistently, day after day, is a bit too much for me. It has physically and emotionally worn me out. I think I will decrease the dose of people after the following Monday.

Don’t get me wrong—I love socializing and having intimate small-group contact. However, the daily dose of humans is a bit too much. It takes a lot of energy to be “on” so frequently. I knew this when I worked as a tour manager, yet I think I have forgotten it, or it has faded into the background of my life.

I will continue to reach out more often to others as I continue this life journey. Hopefully, I can manage to find a good balance between being together with others and spending time alone.

Today, I am thankful for the continuing opportunities for personal growth and meeting so many delightful people in these beautiful state parks in Washington State. I am grateful for my family and friends, who have supported me through the interesting times since Jim’s death. I am grateful for their unconditional love and support. That alone helps me to reach out from my comfort zone.

Today, I am thankful.

Reunion with Birdy Boy: A Heartwarming Encounter on Whidbey Island

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For those of you who have followed my blog, Journeys of Thankfulness, four years ago, you may remember my interaction with a small brown bird, a Song Sparrow, Birdy Boy.

Birdy Boy and I met in the spring of 2021 while I was house-sitting for friends on Whidbey Island in Washington State. I heard an unknown bird song in the yard, so I investigated. Thanks to the Coronell App, Merlin, I identified the sound as belonging to a song sparrow.

When this young bird heard the sound, he flew onto the deck, sat on a stake, and began to sing. From then on, he would appear and sing away each day I was there. Eventually, he would land on my feet, knees, arms, shoulders, and finally, my head. There was seldom a day that I did not see him at least once. We became friends.

Finally, I left the Northwest. I introduced Birdy Boy to the homeowners, and although not as frequently, he would come and visit with Jim and Sandy. Fast-forward to June of the following year, 2022. I returned to the Northwest and returned to my favorite house-sitting gig. Upon my arrival, Birdy Boy was waiting for me. Our relationship changed that summer as he had a family to raise, yet we remained friends.

It has been two years since I visited Whidbey Island. I returned to the house four days ago to see my friends Jim and Sandy. I was looking forward to this visit.

I did not expect to see Birdy Boy on this visit. It has been two years since our last meeting, and he is a wild bird. I knew that the owners had seen him from time to time. Upon my arrival, the three of us sat on the deck. Guess who was there? Birdy Boy! He flew in and greeted Sandy and Jim, sitting on their feet.

It wasn’t until I was alone on the deck that he came to me, sitting on my feet, knees, hands, shoulder, and arms. He is gradually trying out the head. He sings, chips, and tinks, telling me his stories of the past two years.

I notice more song sparrows in the yard now and wonder if these might be his offspring. There is so much I don’t know about the birdy world.

I do know that Birdy Boy is my friend. As I sit on the deck and type this post, Birdy Boy is perched on the computer screen. Once in a while, he sings a tune and settles in again. He is the most delightful of birds. I am honored that he chose me and my friends to be comfortable enough to become part of our world. I also am glad that he remains a wild and free song sparrow.

When I leave today, I will feel a tug on my heart to stay. I have had a wonderful visit with Sandy and Jim. I love being back on Whidbey Island. I have had a wonderful visit with Birdy Boy. When I leave my friends, I always feel a tug on my heart to stay and bask in the warmth of my friendships, human or otherwise.

And…I remain convinced that I will never look at a little brown bird without remembering with love, Birdy Boy. Each little brown bird will remain individual and unique.

Today, I am thankful for friendships, human and otherwise. Today, I am grateful for Sandy and Jim. Today and always, I am thankful for Birdy Boy, the little song sparrow who continues to bless my life.

Today, I am Thankful.

The 2023 Roadtrip-Revisited

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In the winter of 2023, I decided to visit family and friends in my tiny home on wheels, EmmyLou. At the end of March, we packed it up, departed from near Santa Barbara, California, and began to meander east, stopping to visit friends, see places I had never seen before, and visit favorite places from past travels.

Adventure

An undertaking usually involves danger and unknown risks. The encountering of risk. An exciting or remarkable experience.

It began as a trip and became an adventure. I had plans, loose plans, but plans nonetheless. I was visiting my friends in Florida, my sisters and nieces, and other East Coast friends. I knew I was heading to the Canadian Maritimes, Nova Scotia, and Newfoundland before pointing the rig due west again.

When did it become an adventure? It became an adventure when the unexpected showed up, and my direction changed. It became an adventure when I left the rig for two weeks and departed to the Amazon with friends for an amazing journey on the rivers of Brazil.

The adventure continued when I changed plans to Nova Scotia when an opportunity presented itself. I went to the north shore of the Gulf of St Lawrence in the Province of Quebec to photograph North Atlantic Puffins in a workshop with Christopher Dodds, a professional wildlife photographer. I did not expect to explore the national parks in New Brunswick on my way north. It was a fantastic adventure finding myself in unknown lands.

Thanks to Christopher’s suggestion, I continued north and east on the TransLabrador Highway into remote lands for a week. Along the way, I saw so much and met nice people, locally and others like me, who were passing through. It was well worth the effort to decide to head into the unknown.

I spent a month on “The Rock” (Newfoundland), exploring all the byways and seeing many exciting things. The locals were always so kind and helpful. The traffic was never in a hurry, and people were courteous. One day, I got stuck in soft rock, and the first truck that came by stopped and helped me dig out of an unpleasant situation. I just never learned.

My favorite part of Newfoundland was all the free and amazing campsites everywhere I went. The beauty was profound. The birds were amazing, and I got to photograph round two of the Puffins in Elliston, NL.

My adventure continued, and I traveled again through the province of Quebec to the United States. I began to head west, meeting with family and more friends. I took time to explore caves in Ohio and Illinois before arriving to spend a week on The Great River Road on the Mississippi River.

As fall arrived, I knew bird migration was starting, and it was time to go in search of the Sandhill Cranes. First, I arrived at the Bosque del Apache in New Mexico. My most noted part of this three-day visit was the women I met, with whom I connected immediately. It is fun to meet independent, like-minded artists and photographers.

Following the Cranes, I moved southwest to the Whitewater Draw in southern Arizona. When I arrived, there were a few cranes, snow geese, and waterbirds. After camping for two nights, I drove north to Wilcox, AZ, and met the cranes. As I took photos of other waterbirds, I heard the familiar cry; the cranes started arriving. I left an hour later, as the abandoned lakes filled with the Sandhill Cranes. It was hard to leave. It is a fantastic experience to sit amid all this nature and become a part of it.

After visiting with friends in Tucson and kayaking with more friends on the Colorado River, I arrived back in southern California, where this all began. I have been editing a slideshow ever since. Today, I finally decided that I was done editing and ready to share some highlights of my wonderful adventure in North America.

The spring, summer, and fall came to an end. I finished where I started. I saw many amazing things, loved my family, and received theirs back. It was good to catch up. Along the way I met wonderful people who took me in or enjoyed nature with me. It was a great adventure.

Now, I invite you to join me in my adventure. If you click on the video link above, you will see an eighteen-minute video that only touches on the wonders I explored on the Great 2023 Road trip. Enjoy.

Saying Farewell to My Kymco Scooter, Sigh

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In 2006, Jim (my husband) and I bought a 150 cc Kymco Motor Scooter. Construction occurred at the college where he worked, and employees were asked to park off campus. If one had a motorcycle or scooter, they could continue to park at the college. And so we invested in this delightful little gray motorscooter.

K2 Kitty Resting

We took the motorcycle safety course, updated our licenses, and just like that, we had a new vehicle in the family. It was fun to ride. Even the cats enjoyed it, as long as it was parked.

Traveling in San Diego, a big city on the Southwest border of the United States, became an adventure. We never took it on the freeway, worried about cars, trucks, and the drivers. It was mostly used locally in Santee, where we lived. Every once in a while, I would take it on longer trips into areas of the city for dental or doctor appointments. I would have to allow double the time to get to my destination as I planned how to get from point A to point B without getting on the freeway. Taking the backroads gave me the opportunity to explore new areas of this big city.

Jim on our new Scooter

After Jim’s death, I kept the scooter. I really liked riding it. When traveling, it would reside in my storage unit, hooked up to a trickle charger, and wait for my return. It gave me another way to navigate the city. I could safely leave my rig at the campground and head out on the scooter. It was definitely easier to park.

Last year I had an accident on it. I hurt my leg, which healed in no time. I became cautious about the scooter and a little hesitant to ride it. I began to think of selling it. Last year, on my return to San Diego, I thought about selling it but was not ready.

Even after all these years, I still have an emotional attachment to things I shared with Jim. And so it is with the scooter.

I decided to try again this year, and I succeeded. I advertised it on OfferUp, and surprisingly, there was a lot of interest. I met Alonso, who was willing to work with me to buy the scooter. A week ago, he came to my storage unit, looked at the scooter, and took it for a ride.

I knew instantly this was the person to become the new owner of this sweet gray scooter. We talked. He wanted to do the whole transfer process legitimately. Finally, we closed the deal. This past Saturday, Alonso and I met at the DMV office at AAA of Southern California. It was a wait of about two hours. With everything complete, it was time to bid farewell to the scooter.

Alonso and His New Scooter

Almost everything that was part of “our” life has been rehomed. Each item has a story to tell about the item, about Jim and me. Each time I meet someone who has bought an item, it becomes a new story. And so it is with Alonso and the scooter.

Alonso was excited to have a Kymco scooter. He used to own one and was excited to find another one. I was excited because he appeared genuine in his interest.

When Alonso departed, he had full motorcycle gear on. That also made me happy. It is a tough world out there on the streets of San Diego when you are on a motorcycle or scooter. He texted me when he arrived home. Yay.

Although a bit wistful, my heart feels joy, knowing that this scooter’s life will go on with a good and true new owner.

Today, I am thankful for all the years Jim and I had this scooter in our lives. Today I am thankful for Alonso who is the proud new owner of a much loved scooter.

Today, I am thankful.

Holding My Breath Time of the Year

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“There is nothing more essential to our health and well-being than breathing: take air in, let it out, repeat 25,000 times a day. “

Breathe

To inhale and exhale air: breathe deeply now; to be alive; to whisper: Don’t breathe a word of this to your mother.

To be alive; live: A nicer person has never breathed.

To pause to rest or regain breath: Give me a moment to breathe.

Breathe Easily/Easy/Freely

To be relaxed or relieved, especially after a period of tension.


Every fall, I arrive back in San Diego to visit my friends, enjoy a warm early winter, and get all my medical appointments and dental work done for the year. It is a mix of joy, seeing friends I haven’t seen since last year and getting all my appointments lined up.

This is a Hold My Breath Time of Year.

I have had cancer twice. Twelve years ago, I had breast cancer, a rare (not always a welcome word) form of cancer. After a lumpectomy and treatment with radiation, I was finished treatment. That was followed by a five-year treatment plan, taking a pill every day. Suppression is key. Although I was never told I was cancer-free, I have had “no evidence of disease” now for eleven years.

In 2019, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had surgery to remove my thyroid and then received treatment with radioactive iodine. Thyroxine is taking over the function of the thyroid in a dose to suppress any thyroid tissue growth.

And then there is the dentist. I don’t have the best teeth and gums in the world. It is somewhat hereditary. If I ever go to the dentist and get good news, I become suspicious that something was overlooked. Sigh.

Every year, when the appointments begin, I metaphorically “hold my breath.” I wait for the tests and the results to come pouring in.

Two weeks ago, I had my thyroid labs done and had a visit with the endocrinologist. Everything looks good. I let out my breath a little.

Today, my annual mammogram was done. A little more breath was released. Now I wait. Each day without a phone call means that my mammogram is normal. Each day, I exhale a bit more and inhale more deeply. The final exhale will arrive when I read the results of the mammogram and am told I am good for another year.

Then there is the dentist. Oh my, the dentist. I am not free and clear here. Surgery is looming this winter. Sigh. After two deep cleanings, I need to wait for a month and a half to see how this treatment worked. I don’t hold my breath for the dentist. I am used to bad news from this quarter. I also know that the treatments are not life-threatening. Bad diagnoses are normal, and when I am given good news, I don’t know that I trust the results. Once the news, bad or good, is given, a little more release of breath occurs.

Finally, I return to breathing normally, whatever that means. I can release and let go for another year. My anxiety settles, and I can resume breathing in and out, fully and deeply.

Breath is to yoga what water is to a fish: essential for movement and life force. Consider this Sanskrit proverb: “For breath is life, and if you breathe well, you will live long on earth.”

Taking five minutes out of my day to practice yogic breathing helps to decrease my stress and anxiety while waiting for appointments and test results. As each year passes, it becomes easier for me to remember to breathe and relax most of the time. The further I get from the C word, the easier it is to find calm in chaos.

Today, I am thankful for being in a country with good medicine and good people working in the medical field. Their warm greetings help allay my free-floating anxiety.

Today, I am thankful for all the years of yogic practice that have given me the simple and valuable tool of breath.

Today, I am thankful for Breathing.

Returning & Writing From the Heart

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I have been attempting to be creative with my blog without success. When I first started this page I promised myself to write from the heart. When I get stuck trying to write I recognize that I have gotten off track. And here I am once again having to remind myself to go back to what I promised myself at the very beginning of this blog. Be honest and listen to my heart.

I am in San Diego. After an amazing trip across the country and into the Maritimes of Eastern Canada, I have returned to the West Coast. It is time to take a deep breath and dive into being in a large city, and getting all my medical and dental appointments in order.

This is a hold-my-breath time of the year. I hold my breath until my thyroid labs come back. They are good. I hold my breath until my mammogram results come back. I am still waiting. I hold my breath until all my dental appointments are complete. One is complete and it is good. I still have another one to go.

Why do I hold my breath? I don’t want any more untoward diagnoses. I want to be healthy and go on about my usually adventurous life. Determining my winter plans depends on the results of these tests and treatments. Do I have to stay in the city? Can I go to the desert or Mexico? How much time do I really need to be in the heart of the city?

It is not that I dislike the city. It is just a bit overwhelming when the largest city I have been in over the past eight months was St Johns, NL. People drive faster here. People move faster. I have gotten used to the kindness of drivers in Labrador and Newfoundland. I like the slower pace, and the joy of enjoying each moment.

I want to enjoy my time here and access what is available in this pretty city. I have access to nature the whole time I am here. I can bike and kayak and walk around the two bays. It is right at my door. I don’t even have to take my rig anywhere. That is pretty sweet.

When I first arrived I admit to feeling a bit overwhelmed. One day I would linger at the campground or go over to the bay. The next day I would leave to run errands and remind myself of a city that I called home for thirty years.

Star of India

The first weekend I was here I made my way to the San Diego Bay waterfront. I stayed until sunset to watch the Star of India, The Californian, The Bill of Rights, San Salvador, and the visiting Historic Voyaging Canoe Hōkūleʻa arrive back into the harbor. The Star of India is the Flagship of one of the best Maritime Museums I have ever been to, right here in San Diego. It was the first time in five years that Star unfurled her sails and went to sea. It was fun to gather with others who were there to watch all these ships return from a glorious day on the water.

The heart of the Park.

A few days ago I joined a dear friend for lunch and a walk in Balboa Park. The park is another major attraction in this city. When I could still dance I was usually there at least once a week. All the locals have access to the park. It is not unusual on any given night to walk into buildings hear music and watch all types of dancing being enjoyed by the local San Diegans. Folk Dance, Ballet, Modern, Tap, and Jazz may be in the same building. It is fun to watch people enjoy themselves. During the day it is fun to wander the park and explore its many walkways.

Balboa Park is also home to the world-famous San Diego Zoo. I have not been there yet but I am waiting for another good friend, Cynthia to set a date to meander the zoo.

Even in the middle of the eighth largest city in the USA, I can still find many things to do outdoors. Bird watching? Check. Hiking? Check. Biking? Check. Kayaking? Check. Watching amazing Sunsets? Check.

Sunset on Mission Bay

How else do I plan to enjoy my time here? I haven’t mentioned friends yet. Slowly I am connecting with my long-time friends and some new ones as well. I want to enjoy at least one theater performance and one dance performance while I have access to them. However, I saw a great musical performance in the middle of Newfoundland at a Visitor’s Center in a wildlife refuge in the middle of nowhere. You just never know.

I will return to my seven-month sojourn. I am still editing photos and creating a map and a slide show. Stay Tuned.

Caving in Illinois

Today I am thankful for the wild country and the city. I am thankful for being able to bring the outdoors with me into the heart of a large city. I am thankful for all the big city has to offer. I am thankful for friends to share my urban adventures.

Today I am Thankful.

The River-A Cell Phones Nemesis

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In 2015 I stepped into the smartphone world. Since I already had other Apple products, it seemed like a natural progression to continue with another product. I purchased an iPhone 6 and began my education in Smartphone technology.

I love adventure. I like to explore parts of my world that are sometimes hard to get to. I love the Southwest. I really like Zion National Park. I am so fortunate to have good friends that live outside the park. There is a section of the park called the Subway. From the top down one needs ropes and knowledge that there is rappeling into cold river water, more than once.

The Subway from the Bottom Up

One can also hike the Subway from the bottom up. This trail also presents its own set of challenges. There really is no trail, it is a set of social trails that progresses down a steep slope to the river. Then you follow the river for three miles to arrive at the beginning of the subway. It is not an easy hike. It is a great visual hike.

In 2017 I hiked the Subway from the bottom up. I just arrived at the Subway part of the hike, when I fell off a log into the river along with my day pack that held my iPhone 6. Oh no, what was I to do. The phone was wet and I was a long way from help. I dried the phone off the best I could and continued with my hike. Nine hours later I returned to my friends exhausted and happy. I took my phone apart, yep you could do that, and dried it out. The next day it worked although it had developed a dark side. The right upper side of the phone was black, it worked and so I kept it for a few more years until the dark side began to cover more of the screen. I decided to upgrade to an iPhone 8.

I was happily using my new phone with no issues until…..I met another River. 2021-I was kayaking on the Provo River near Utah Lake in the state of Utah. It is a very silty river and a beautiful place to kayak. I stopped to fix something on my kayak and before I could stop it my phone in its waterproof container disappeared into the river. That river is definitely deeper than it looked. I tried for over an hour to rescue my iPhone 8 without success. Each time I tried to reach it with my kayak paddle the silt would stir up and I would lose sight of it. Other kayakers tried their hand at rescuing it, without success. I had to admit defeat and off I went to the Verizon Store to ask for help. I also called a good friend, Melissa, to mourn my loss. It is good to have friends.

First Photo from my iPhone 12

My iPhone 12 stayed with me until two weeks ago when I met another river up close and personal. On my current trip to the east coast of the United States, I spent three weeks with friends in Florida. We camped and biked and kayaked on the rivers and springs of northern Florida. The last river was the Juniper River. It was a quick, shallow river through a beautiful area. There were alligators, one giant one, and one rapid.

As you may know, I am a photographer. After I am safely on the water I often take my cell phone out of its waterproof case so I can take photos. After successfully managing the rapid, I got caught in an eddy. As I tried to push off the kayak tipped and there went cell phone number three. I got wet, it got wet and the kayak had its first experience of flipping. I worried about my cell phone. My friend Missy was concerned about my camera that was safely inside a dry bag. I kept thinking about that giant alligator up the river. Needless to say, I got out of that river in record time.

Initially, the phone worked fine and I thought all was good. The next morning the phone would not wake up. Oh sigh. Once again the river won. I am now an owner of an iPhone 14.

First Photo on the iPhone 14

When one does not lead a dull life these things happen. When one leads any kind of life these things happen. I feel personally responsible for my phone so I have mourned the passing of each one. I have to talk myself out of deciding I am a bad phone owner and recognize that these things happen not just to me but to many others as well. I am sure we all have phone stories to tell.

In three weeks I am flying to the Amazon in Brazil for two weeks. Oh no, another river! A mighty river. Hopefully, I will be able to keep hold of my new phone so the river does not take it away. No matter what me and my phone will venture south to enjoy an adventure on the Amazon.

Today I am grateful for coming clean and admitting to my cell phone debacle. I have always wanted to be truthful in these blog posts. I want to show my humanity. Today I am grateful for truth and for revealing my humanness.

Today I am grateful.

Adventures Heading South

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Sunset in San Diego

Every year in November I return to San Diego to get my annual medical and dental appointments done. I come south to visit friends and escape winter. I usually don’t travel directly to the city. I meander my way from wherever I have been.

I find it hard to be in large cities. Since I bought my Roadtrek and went full-time RV’ing, I have embraced rural and small-town living. I like the slower pace. I like the quick access to the outdoors. I would rather walk, kayak, or cycle than take too much time to get to my starting point. I like the sense of community that small towns and the rural countryside offers. People look out for each other. We help each other out. I don’t have to be alone unless I choose that option.

I have to prepare myself for the entrance into the city. This year after I left The North Rim of the Grand Canyon, White Pocket and southern Utah I headed south to Phoenix. If I want to practice being in a larger metropolitan area this city is a good one to approach. Phoenix is the fifth largest metropolitan area in the United States. I have two good friends that live in towns on either side of Phoenix.

Superstition Mts. from my Campsite

Apache Junction and Mary are on the east side of Phoenix. The Superstition Mountains and the Lower Salt River are within twenty minutes of Mary’s doorstep. I camped at the Lost Dutchman State Park. This park sits at the foot of Flat Iron Peak. It is a popular hike for the locals.

At Mary’s suggestion, one morning I launched my Oru Kayak on the Lower Salt River and paddled downriver. Since I wasn’t sure how far I wanted to go, Mary and Roxie, her dog, would meet me at each pullout or launching site to see how I was doing. Happily, I made it the full ten miles. It was a beautiful and scenic ride down the river. The next time I am taking Mary with me.

I paddled by wild horses feasting on the eelgrass in the river. The Salt River wild horses roam the lower Salt River in the Tonto National Forest in Arizona. According to historical records, the horses have been living on the Salt River reservation before the National Forest was created in the early 1900s. The wild horses are watched over by the Salt River Wild Horse Management Group. They are protected and number approximately five hundred.

After three days of catching up with Mary and her animal menagerie, I drove to Goodyear to visit Yvonne. Goodyear is on the west side of Phoenix. Yvonne lives in a 55 and up community. This stay was more community-minded as Yvonne is very involved with the community where she lives. While I was there we went to a block party, a beer-tasting event, and more. The best part of visiting Yvonne is sitting in her hot tub every morning talking and planning the day. It is a good way to start the day.

After Phoenix, I decided I need to go rural for a few days before I arrived in San Diego. I spent two nights on the lower Colorado River, kayaking on Squaw Lake and the mighty river. It is quiet out in the desert right now. The Snowbirds are just starting to arrive. There were a handful of campers at the campsite. There were at least three Roadtreks there. After a day of kayaking, it was nice to sit outside with my neighbors and watch the sunset over the lake.

Currently, I am in San Diego. I have already been to a few appointments and visited with friends. It is nice to be back on familiar terrain. I am able to see what has changed in the last nine months. I know where to find my favorite Coffeehouses. The one thing I like about San Diego is camping on Mission Bay. Even though I am in a large city, I still have easy access to biking trails and the boat launch is only a short distance from my campsite. Well, that is convenient.

My winter plans are taking shape. I always know to expect the unexpected. I remember to breathe my way through my appointments and wait to find out the results of tests. There is a part of me that feels I have to wait to make plans until all the medical and dental appointments are complete and the results are in. Sometimes I get thrown a curve. I wait.

Today I am thankful for so many wonderful friends. Today I am thankful for my soft adventures. Today I am thankful for my health. I am truly thankful for a good first dental appointment. Today I am thankful for rain-it is raining in San Diego. (not a frequent occurence)

Today I am thankful.

Another Year

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Fall represents a time of coming in. The harvests are in and hopefully, people are celebrating a bounty. The daylight hours shorten. It is a time of coming in, physically inside, inside the heart, inside the mind.

When October arrives I begin to brace myself for the journey through Jim’s birthday, October tenth. Jim (my husband) died in October 2012. The day before his birthday was his last hospital admission. Then my birthday arrives, October sixteenth. October seventeenth in the early evening hours, my husband of twenty-one years died. On November seventeenth we took his ashes to sea on a glorious San Diego morning.

Each year I wonder what this period of time will look like. Will I want to be with others? Will I want to be alone? Will I celebrate my birthday? It took me two years after his death to celebrate my sixtieth birthday. Will I be sad or grateful for this time in my life?

This year I found myself wanting to be alone and settle with my heart. It was a quiet day on Whidbey Island, where I was house sitting. I decided I really did not want to take phone calls. I was in a good and quiet place and I wanted to savor that time and the contentment I felt.

I still have a small amount of Jim’s ashes, ready to be given to the Rocky Mountains, when I get there. Three weeks before my house sitting gig was finished on Whidbey Island, I took two teaspoons of the ashes to Callahan Firehouse Glass in the town of Langley and had a memorial pendant made. I did not want a pendant for my neck, I wanted something larger so he could ride on the mirror in my rig. I gave them my order and told the artist to be creative.

Just before I left Langley I picked up the pendant. The woman who creates this artwork was at the store to give me the pendant. She told me that she does ceremonies around each pendant she creates. She spoke with Jim while blowing the glass. And remembered the stories I had told to the woman who had taken my order.

The pendant is beautiful. The blues in it match his eyes(light blue) and his Modern Morgan Kilt(darker blue). The white that sparkles through are his ashes. Now Jim gets to see my world. When the sun hits it just right there is a diamond flare of light that hits the bottom or top of the glass. I think it is Jim winking at me.

This feels like another step in the continuation of moving forward and embracing my life. This year there was a settling in, a feeling of comfort within myself that has not been there since he left.

And, speaking of Jim…Today is Giving Tuesday. When Jim died, with the help of Grossmont College where he worked most of his adult life, I created a scholarship in his name, the Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship. These scholarships help students afford to attend college and create careers for themselves. I have met a few of the students and each semester the college sends me a letter that the student who was awarded the scholarship writes. When I read these essays it gives me hope for the future no matter what the age of the student

If you would like to donate to Jim’s Scholarship today or any time please do so. Here is the link to the Change Makers site. Change Makers are students that achieve if supported. If you donate today the scholarship will receive double the amount of your donation. I already did my yearly donation earlier in the day. In the memo section type in Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship so that the donation will be directed to the appropriate area. It is a good time to donate. Remember that tax season is right around the corner.

I am feeling grateful for another year. I am glad that I allow myself to adventure into my feelings, good or bad. Each year I see my own growth and am thankful. I am thankful for the time I had with Jim. I am thankful that I am still here and growing. Today is a good day.