Category Archives: breathing always breathing.

Remembering Jim: Love, Loss, and Lifelong Adventures

Posted on by
6

“I talk about him because I’m proud.
I talk about him, because he deserves to be remembered.
I talk about him, because even though he’s not physically with me, he’s never far from my mind.
I talk about him because he’s part of me, a part that I could never ignore or disown.
I talk about him because I love him still, and I always will. Forever. Nothing will ever change that.”
I Talk About Him/Scribbles & Crumbs

On October 9, 2012, Jim, my husband entered the hospital for the last time. Neither of us knew that he would not leave and come home. Neither of us thought that the end of his life was around the corner. Neither of us knew.

Thirteen years ago on October seventeenth my husband of 21 years died. He entered the hospital the day before his birthday. Almost two weeks later, he died the day after my birthday. Yes October is a emotionally mixed month for me.

Oh, and wait a minute. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I know that some people who have had breast cancer are dedicated to this month. I thank them for that. I, though from the beginning of having breast cancer in 2010 have wanted nothing to do with this month. I don’t want pink anything. I want to move forward without the celebration and thinking of myself as a survivor. I want to live.

Welcome to October
Always an action packed emotional month.

It seems strange to think it has been thirteen years since Jim’s death. Sometimes it seems like it has been that long. Other days, it feels like it was yesterday. Sigh.

I spent most of my younger adult life thinking that I was going to be single my whole adult life. I made it to 38 and then Jim showed up and my life changed forever.

Each year I take time to remember Jim in writing, in thought and in love.

Jim & me dancing Contra Dance

Many relationships were made and dismantled on the dance floor of the New England Contra Dance community. If you have never tried this form of folk dance I suggest you try it. It is so much fun and it is certainly a way to meet people and make friends. And, oh the music! One night, this tall blue-eyed man showed up. That ended the idea of being single for the rest of my life.

Scottish Country Dance Ball

Jim followed me to other dance communities. He became a fine Scottish Country Dancer. We ballroom danced and chose to try several other forms of dance in communities around San Diego. It was fun. He did a mean waltz and polka. It was so much fun to have a dance partner.

The connection was strong and within a year we were a couple. I moved from San Diego in the fall of that year. I became a traveling nurse with Albuquerque as my destination. He didn’t want a long distance relationship. I said “How do you know if you don’t try it?”

Four months passed. Jim and I made several trips between Albuquerque, NM and San Diego, CA. I returned to the west coast and Jim. We moved in together and became a life couple. Was he my soul mate? I don’t know. I do know that even if it wasn’t perfect it was pretty darn close. From the moment we started to date we were close.

Everything was shared. Each month I would hike into the mountains to contemplate whether this was still a relationship I wanted. He would roll his eyes and waved me off. I would come back for another month. When I asked him if he had any doubts. He looked me in the eyes and said no. Eventually the monthly journeys move to every six months and then every year. I continued to hike and contemplate this wonderful relationship once a year until his death.

I have always been an explorer and adventure traveler. He joined me.

We took the train to Oregon. We climbed old growth Douglas Firs. and camped in the top of the trees. Did you know that there are no mosquitoes 25 feet above the ground? Since we were camped over 100 feet off the ground we were never bothered by those pesky little creatures.

Tree Climbing & Tree Sleeping

One year we kayaked the Nā Pali  Coast off the coast of Kauai. The only way to see this coast is by helicopter or boat. On one of the short kayaks, we sailed through the air on the backside of a wave. Other travelers kept saying, “this doesn’t look good.” It wasn’t but oh the fun. We survived. When we finally kayaked the 15 miles down the Nā Pali coast, we went into caves. We greeted sea turtles swimming by. We got to see firsthand this amazing and remote coast.

Another Hawaii trip found us inner tubing through the sugar cane fields and kayaking the rivers on Kauai. This and the Big Island were our favorites places to visit in the 50th state.

On Tour of the Galapagos Islands

Other adventures included Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. We Winter Camped and snowshoe hiked in Yellowstone National Park. We camped and explored Canyon de Chelly in Arizona by horseback. Jim had never been on a horse in his life. When a friend invited us to join her for a long weekend in Alaska. We enjoyed a long weekend of cross country skiing, yoga, and contra dancing. Always dancing. We explored our country, the outback and the cities.

Due to Jim’s love of astronomy we finally saw the total solar eclipse over Angkor Wat in Cambodia. During the summer months, the California desert becomes too hot. He would load all his astronomy equipment in the car and we headed to the desert. We camped in the remote areas of Anza Borrego State Park. There, we would stare at the heavens and talk into the early hours of the morning. The key to summer visits is to arrive after 5 pm. Be ready to leave by nine in the morning. Even in the summer the evenings are cool and pleasant. And…there is no one else out there.

Then there was the Grand Canyon, one of the seven natural wonders of the world. Jim and I hiked it a couple of times. The real life changer happened when we decided to take a river raft adventure. It lasted 15 days with friends from Lee’s Ferry to Diamond Creek.

Looking out at the Mighty Colorado

At first Jim wasn’t sure he wanted to go. It was too long. What would he do if he got bored? I made one phone call to a long time friend, Sharon, who had rafted the canyon several times. After his conversation with her, he hung up and we made reservations. After that trip we always talked about “Before Grand Canyon” and “After Grand Canyon”.

This is a description of some of our travels. There were so many more adventures than listed here. We were always looking for the next new adventure. It was such a great experience to have someone to share the unique and normal with.

Now I carry on alone but not really. I carry remembrance of him and our life with me. I move forward toward the next adventure. And I carry the joy of those 21 years with me as I grow and change and remember. Some people have said that I should let him go and move on. I am not sure what letting him go means. How can I do that? Those 21 years changed my life. They made me grow into the person I am today. I carry my growth with me always.

I continue to adventure by myself. My friend in our soft adventures is gone. I wonder sometimes how different my life would have been if he was still here today. Yes, I have no doubt I would still be with him. I would still be taking the hike into the mountains every year. I would watch as he waved me off. And then another year would unfold.

Today I am thankful for Jim, for our positive and wonderful relationship. I am thankful to move forward and be so much more than before I met him. Today I am thankful for Jim and all those years of adventure and wonder.

Hmmm…Where to next?

Exploring the Majestic Coast Redwoods

Posted on by
1

“In the 1960’s there was a conflict in California between the lumber industry and citizens who wanted to protect redwood forests. Reagan, then governor of the state, took the position that large redwood forests were not necessary; at one meeting he said, “If you’ve seen one redwood tree, you’ve seen them all.” Ronald Regan

“I think, too, that we’ve got to recognize that where the preservation of a natural resource like the redwoods is concerned, that there is a common sense limit. I mean, if you’ve looked at a hundred thousand acres or so of trees — you know, a tree is a tree, how many more do you need to look at?” Ronald Regan

A Tree is not just a Tree. I believe the answer to the above question is simple. How many more trees do we need to look at? All of Them.

I spent twenty four hours in the Redwoods of Northern California. I drove The Avenue of the Giants, an alternate route to the 101. This is the most scenic drive among the Coast Redwoods. It has been called the finest forest drive in the world. For thirty one miles I drove through grove after grove of the coast redwoods.

Each time I entered another grove, I felt as if I was entering a spiritual place. Time slowed down. My breath got deeper and slower and I relaxed. These massive trees called out to me to relax, stop and listen. My driving slowed down. I pulled off the road often to explore, to sit quietly and breathe.

I camped for a night at Hidden Springs Campground in the heart of the Redwoods. The trees are so tall the tops of them looked so far away. They average 350 feet high. It was quiet and still and I slept well among them.

From my campground I hiked down to the South Fork of the Eel River. As I walked through this Redwood Forest the trees groaned in the wind. I felt that they were talking, supporting and conversing with each other. The forest was soft and quiet. Even though it was warm out, among the trees it was cool walking in the shadows. I was forest bathing.

The Redwood roots are very shallow, often only five or six feet deep. But they make up for it in width, sometimes extending up to one hundred feet from the trunk. They thrive in thick groves, where the roots can intertwine and even fuse together. Working together allows them as a community to withstand wind and flooding. They hold hands to survive as individuals and as a community. Without this interlocking of roots many would fall over in the winds.

Often we are taught to stand on our own, to do things independently. These trees remind me that as a community, we can support and help each other. Together, we develop community strength that can withstand much more than being on one’s own. All of us can become stronger when we have support of others.

I am glad that I took the time to venture into the Coast Redwoods. I am glad that I took time to slow down and explore these mighty groves of trees. I love being engulfed by nature. There are such value in lessons that nature imparts to us. I am thankful for these mighty places.

Finding Balance: My Social Media Free Week

Posted on by
Reply

Last week as part of the ongoing protests in this country we were asked to do a social media free week. Some of my friends said why just one week when they have already signed off of social media.

With this blog and family that lives far away, on the other coast, Facebook has helped me to stay a little bit connected to them although not as much as when I first started on the site. I belong to groups and I have friends that it is fun to stay in touch with. In many ways it has made life easier yet it is also addicting and often takes up a too much of my day.

Then you add Instagram and Threads and other social media groups and it can become quite time consuming and well, addicting. I was willing to give a Social Media free week a try.

I signed off of all sites on May seventh and did not return until the twelfth of the month. Here is what I found. Much to my surprise I did not miss any of them. I had more time to do things that needed to get accomplished. I read a little more and had more time to ponder and enjoy my environment.

May 12th I signed back on and my behavior towards these platforms has changed. I don’t check them several times a day and I don’t want to. I am considering after the Roadtrek Rally on Vancouver Island, of enacting a Facebook Friday. I would like to think that I can leave this behind except for one day a week.

I am currently listening to a book “The Age of Magical Overthinking”. The author mentions how her generation (much younger than me) expects everything right away as that is how all social platforms keep you addicted. Is it really important to know the news immediately when it happens? Is going to the headlines every time one gets a ping on their phone important? How does that change ones life? Can’t it wait until later or tomorrow or a few days. How much is that news going to change your life at that moment?

She also states in the book, that research has shown that when we get all this information all the time peoples adrenaline remains on hyper-alert all the time. When a person might need that adrenaline it becomes slower to respond.

I gave up listening to the news after the 2016 election. So much of it was mean and hateful and divisive so I gave it up.

About two years later I decided to at least read the daily headlines so I got the New York Times headlines in my mailbox every day. When I was in Hawaii for two months this past winter I did not look at them at all. I decided I wanted to really be on vacation, slow down and enjoy the moment. Now that I have returned stateside I read the headlines every day. I find myself shaking my head often and my stress level has risen.

It is time to change that up as well. I want to live as stress free as I can. I want to be able to support and help others but when I am stressed out how can I do that. How can I support and help myself?

The key is balance. It is time for me to find balance again in my life. As this world gets out of control and behaviors seem disheartening, I need to find a way to remember to breathe, take walks and enjoy the magic that is this world.

Was this a good week? Yes it was and I am glad that I decided to give it try. If the groups ask again as part of the ongoing protests I will dive in whole heartedly and go Social Media Free again. Life is just too short to live anxiously.

Today I am thankful for good challenges in my life. Today I am thankful I can continue to grow and change. Today I am thankful to remember to enjoy the beauty of what is around me.

Today I am Thankful.

The Importance of Community During Tragic and Unsettling Moments

Posted on by
1

I am sitting in my lovely VRBO this morning, thinking about the last week.

FIRE

The Los Angeles fires were horrific. So many people lost their homes, their livelihoods, and so much more. What saddens me is hearing people say that because some who lost their homes were wealthy, they can just replace what has been lost. If only it was that easy.

Emotionally, no one’s life is the same after a horror like this. Money or no money, the emotional toll remains for most.

Did you know that many organizations in Los Angeles are helping their own and those further abroad? When I began exploring how to help those in need, I found organizations I did not even know or think about.

How The Arts & Entertainment Industry Is Supporting Los Angeles Fire Relief

Alt Comedy All-Stars 2025

On Jan. 31, Alt Comedy All-Stars 2025 will occur at the Fonda Theatre at 8 p.m. The benefit show for Comedy Gives Back will raise funds for comedians affected by the wildfires. The talent lineup includes Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifianakis, Bob Odenkirk, John Ennis, Jill Talley, and more.

Celebrity Donations & Volunteers

An abundance of the Hollywood elite has taken to Instagram, donation drives and more to help rebuild Los Angeles. Paris Hilton, whose Malibu home was destroyed by the Palisades Fire, launched an emergency fund through her foundation, 11:11 Media Impact, to aid displaced families with young children. She urged Instagram followers to donate and kicked off the fundraiser by committing to match the first $100K raised and contributing another $100K.  Beyonce’s foundation, Beygood, also announced a $2.5 million LA Fire Relief Fund to aid families in the Altadena/Pasadena area, during the week after the fires began (Jan. 13 to 17). As confirmed by People, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have taken in friends who were forced to evacuate to their homes and have plans to take action through their Archwell Foundation. Eva Longoria was among volunteers cleaning up the streets of Pasadena. She also pledged $1 million to support relief efforts and urged followers on Instagram to support The California Community Foundation and The Latino Community Foundation.  

Getty’s L.A. Arts Community Fire Relief Fund

The J. Paul Getty Trust has teamed up with the Mohn Art Collective (Hammer Museum, LACMA, MOCA), East West Bank, Mellon Foundation, TheBroad Art Foundation, Helen Frankenthaler Foundation, The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Qatar Museums and Ford Foundation to establish the $12 million L.A. Arts Community Fire Relief Fund. Administered by the Center for Cultural Innovation, the emergency fund will support artists and arts workers in all disciplines who have lost residences, studios or livelihoods or have otherwise been affected by the wildfires. Applications open on Jan. 20. 

Hollywood Pantages Theatre

The Hollywood Pantages Theatre donated $125,000 to five organizations: the Los Angeles Firefighters Foundation, the Los Angeles Police Foundation, the Entertainment Community Fund, Project Angel Food and Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights Aids. “Our hearts go out to everyone affected by the devastating fires impacting Los Angeles and our surrounding communities,” said Jeff Loeb, president of The Hollywood Pantages Theatre. “We are deeply grateful for the heroic efforts of our firefighters, first responders, and the countless neighbors who have stepped up to lend a helping hand during this difficult time. Your courage, resilience, and compassion inspire us all.”

LA Gives Back Fire Relief

On Jan. 29, The Bellwether will host LA Gives Back, and 100 percent of proceeds will benefit charities that support the community, firefighters, and animals affected by the wildfires.

Netflix

The streaming titan donated $10 million to the Los Angeles Fire Department Foundation, California Community Fund Wildfire Recovery Fund, World Central Kitchen, Motion Picture and Television Fund, and Entertainment Community Fund. “For many people who aren’t familiar with it, Los Angeles conjures images of palm trees and red carpets; mansions and movie stars,” co-CEO Ted Sarandos said in a statement. “But for those of us lucky enough to call this city home, Los Angeles is far more than that. It’s a family — one made up of extraordinarily talented, hardworking people from all over the world and all walks of life, many of whom came here chasing a dream.”

The Producers Guild of America

The Producers Guild of America and the Entertainment Community Fund have established a fund to support film, television, and emerging media producers affected by the fires. Producers can apply online for financial assistance, and those seeking help can donate through the Entertainment Community’s website. Already, $300,000 has been raised. 

Universal Music Group

Leading the way for the overhaul of Grammy week, Universal Music Group canceled all of its Grammy-related events on Jan. 13. Instead, it will redirect the resources it would have used for the events to assist those affected by the wildfires. “L.A. is home to so many of us,” UMG said in a statement. “We are committed to helping and supporting the music community, our artists, our teams, and the people of Los Angeles get through this horrific episode.” 

Warner Bros. Discovery

Alongside setting up an emergency relief center on its studio lot, Warner Bros. Discover pledged $15 million to immediate response and rebuilding efforts. “Our studio has called Burbank home for more than 100 years, and we are focused on what needs to be done to help those impacted rebound from this disaster and rebuild in the weeks, months, and years ahead.”

YouTube x Google

YouTube teamed up with Google and Google.org to donate $15 million to organizations offering immediate relief in Los Angeles, including Emergency Network Los Angeles, the American Red Cross, the Center for Disaster Philanthropy, and the Institute for Nonprofit News. “Los Angeles is the heart of entertainment and storytelling and has an impact on culture all over the world,” YouTube CEO Neal Mohan said in a blog post. “It’s also where many YouTube creators, artists, partners, and our employees call home. Like so many, we’ve been heartbroken by the devastation from the wildfires and want to do our part to support the community as it rebuilds.”

And these efforts are just an example of how Los Angeles and those further away are helping everyone recover from this life-changing event.

Loss on a Local Level

The North Shore community has been suffering a tragedy for the past four days. Over the weekend, there have been big waves, up to a forty-foot face on some waves. Two local teens disappeared after a date at Sharks Cove on Friday night. Sharks Cove is a well-known snorkeling spot.

When they didn’t return home, the girl’s mother notified the authorities. They found their clothes and car on a beach north of the cove. The Coast Guard, the Life Guards, and local organizations got involved. Over the weekend, they dove, snorkeled, flew helicopters over the site, and used jet skis to transport all the searchers. The family sat on the shore and looked out to sea. As of today, they have not been found. Slowly, the energy returns to normal, yet losing these two young lives will forever affect the community.

It makes me aware that no one is on permanent vacation or holiday. Reality has a way of shaking me out of my comfort zone. What can I do? For now, I can donate money to the victims of fires. I can help in the best way that I can. I can hold them in my thoughts and give prayer.

It is more complicated with the local community here on the North Shore. When they asked everyone to keep an eye on the water, I did. I noticed others walking among the lava rocks on the rocky coast. Everyone was looking. For a brief moment, the community, locals, and visitors alike searched the best way they could while not getting in the way of the Coast Guard and Searchers. Now, through breath and prayer, we can hold these families of such tragic loss in light, in prayer, or however you individually honor those in need of loving, non-judgemental, emotional support.

As my world gets thrown asunder, for a moment, a day, or longer, I will continue to find ways to lovingly support those in need. I can do this physically, financially, or through prayer. I can identify when making an unsound judgment on others, take a breath, and release the judgment so those unfounded feelings are not released into my universe or the universe. These are not the times for personal judgment. This is not about me; it is about others and me stepping out of the way so those in need will find unconditional love and support.

Today, I breathe deeply and send what I can to those in need. I hope that my breath will wrap around all of them, and maybe I will create one little spark of love and hope in a world that needs it so desperately now.

Today I am Thankful.

One of Those Weeks

Posted on by
4

Have you ever had one of those weeks? I have no doubt that the answer is yes. We all have had those weeks. Some are good, exciting, and excellent. Other weeks make me question what the heck is going on.

A week ago, I had a “what the heck is going on?” kind of week. I woke up on Friday and thought I didn’t feel one hundred percent. I tested myself for COVID-19 and laid low for the day.

The next morning I felt better, and then I did not. Another COVID-19 test was negative, so I masked up and joined friends at a matinee on Saturday afternoon. I, who love dance, nodded twice during the performance. How did that happen? After the performance, I returned home and laid low for the rest of the day.

So far, so good, Right? My right nostril was sore by Sunday afternoon and felt like a developing pimple. I am 71!!!! Years old, Pimple Season is over, Right!?!

Despite warm soaks and over-the-counter painkillers, over the next few days, my nose became sore, swollen, red, and hurt a lot. By mid-week, I decided it was time to go to Urgent Care. The doctor told me it was a good thing I decided to come in. I was diagnosed with a staph infection in my nostril. The next thing I knew, I was on an oral antibiotic, a topical antibiotic, and lidocaine to stop the pain. My nose ballooned up and altered in many shades of red over the next few days.

In the middle of all this, I lost a filling and had to visit the dentist for a new one. Really?

Forward to Friday and a return trip to the Doctor. By the end of that visit, another antibiotic and a weaning dose of prednisone were added to my repertoire of medicines. I am so thankful for the prednisone, which helped relieve the pain and decrease the swelling.

Finally, by Saturday, I was feeling better. My nose was decreasing in size, the pain was receding, and I felt a bit more socially presentable.

On Sunday, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and head to the Colorado River to meet good friends and get some paddling time.

And, just like that, my odd and weird week was behind me. I finished the antibiotics and the prednisone and am now getting my digestive system back in order.

Here are so many takeaways from last week.

  • And, just like that, life can change direction.
  • Staph infections are a serious business. Years back, when I was still working as a nurse, people were admitted to the hospital for this, and some were very sick. Don’t Mess With Staph!
  • I need to be my own advocate for health care. I am such a strong believer in this. With knowledge comes power. I believe I did a pretty good job.
  • Listen to my body.
  • My body took more of a hit than I realized. It took me a few days to realize I needed to honor a body in recovery. Take naps, eat and drink well, and stay put. Small walks, not big ones.
  • I miss having someone to care for me when I feel unwell. My little girl wanted to be tucked into bed and given comfort foods. Instead, I had to do that myself. Pasta is a great comfort food.
  • I am thankful for having a small, dry, warm home to snuggle into.
  • I felt like a walking petri dish. I kept telling people they needed to wash their hands everywhere I went. The doctors were told. The dentist was told. Wash Your Hands!!!! I know I was preaching to the choir.

I am so thankful for the healthcare system in this country. I am thankful for the doctors who were kind and compassionate to my situation. I am thankful for their knowledge and willingness to share it with me. I am thankful for medications that work. I am thankful they told me more than once that I did not have cancer (always a remote lingering thought in my mind). The dentist had to reaffirm the same thing. Anytime anything above the neck happens, I worry and fuss. Sigh.

I am thankful for my health and body’s innate need to heal. It is a pretty magical thing, this body I inhabit.

Today I am thankful for the healing effects of kayaking on any body of water and visiting with friends.

Whew, Today I am Really Thankful.

Holding My Breath Time of the Year

Posted on by
1

“There is nothing more essential to our health and well-being than breathing: take air in, let it out, repeat 25,000 times a day. “

Breathe

To inhale and exhale air: breathe deeply now; to be alive; to whisper: Don’t breathe a word of this to your mother.

To be alive; live: A nicer person has never breathed.

To pause to rest or regain breath: Give me a moment to breathe.

Breathe Easily/Easy/Freely

To be relaxed or relieved, especially after a period of tension.


Every fall, I arrive back in San Diego to visit my friends, enjoy a warm early winter, and get all my medical appointments and dental work done for the year. It is a mix of joy, seeing friends I haven’t seen since last year and getting all my appointments lined up.

This is a Hold My Breath Time of Year.

I have had cancer twice. Twelve years ago, I had breast cancer, a rare (not always a welcome word) form of cancer. After a lumpectomy and treatment with radiation, I was finished treatment. That was followed by a five-year treatment plan, taking a pill every day. Suppression is key. Although I was never told I was cancer-free, I have had “no evidence of disease” now for eleven years.

In 2019, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had surgery to remove my thyroid and then received treatment with radioactive iodine. Thyroxine is taking over the function of the thyroid in a dose to suppress any thyroid tissue growth.

And then there is the dentist. I don’t have the best teeth and gums in the world. It is somewhat hereditary. If I ever go to the dentist and get good news, I become suspicious that something was overlooked. Sigh.

Every year, when the appointments begin, I metaphorically “hold my breath.” I wait for the tests and the results to come pouring in.

Two weeks ago, I had my thyroid labs done and had a visit with the endocrinologist. Everything looks good. I let out my breath a little.

Today, my annual mammogram was done. A little more breath was released. Now I wait. Each day without a phone call means that my mammogram is normal. Each day, I exhale a bit more and inhale more deeply. The final exhale will arrive when I read the results of the mammogram and am told I am good for another year.

Then there is the dentist. Oh my, the dentist. I am not free and clear here. Surgery is looming this winter. Sigh. After two deep cleanings, I need to wait for a month and a half to see how this treatment worked. I don’t hold my breath for the dentist. I am used to bad news from this quarter. I also know that the treatments are not life-threatening. Bad diagnoses are normal, and when I am given good news, I don’t know that I trust the results. Once the news, bad or good, is given, a little more release of breath occurs.

Finally, I return to breathing normally, whatever that means. I can release and let go for another year. My anxiety settles, and I can resume breathing in and out, fully and deeply.

Breath is to yoga what water is to a fish: essential for movement and life force. Consider this Sanskrit proverb: “For breath is life, and if you breathe well, you will live long on earth.”

Taking five minutes out of my day to practice yogic breathing helps to decrease my stress and anxiety while waiting for appointments and test results. As each year passes, it becomes easier for me to remember to breathe and relax most of the time. The further I get from the C word, the easier it is to find calm in chaos.

Today, I am thankful for being in a country with good medicine and good people working in the medical field. Their warm greetings help allay my free-floating anxiety.

Today, I am thankful for all the years of yogic practice that have given me the simple and valuable tool of breath.

Today, I am thankful for Breathing.

Returning & Writing From the Heart

Posted on by
1

I have been attempting to be creative with my blog without success. When I first started this page I promised myself to write from the heart. When I get stuck trying to write I recognize that I have gotten off track. And here I am once again having to remind myself to go back to what I promised myself at the very beginning of this blog. Be honest and listen to my heart.

I am in San Diego. After an amazing trip across the country and into the Maritimes of Eastern Canada, I have returned to the West Coast. It is time to take a deep breath and dive into being in a large city, and getting all my medical and dental appointments in order.

This is a hold-my-breath time of the year. I hold my breath until my thyroid labs come back. They are good. I hold my breath until my mammogram results come back. I am still waiting. I hold my breath until all my dental appointments are complete. One is complete and it is good. I still have another one to go.

Why do I hold my breath? I don’t want any more untoward diagnoses. I want to be healthy and go on about my usually adventurous life. Determining my winter plans depends on the results of these tests and treatments. Do I have to stay in the city? Can I go to the desert or Mexico? How much time do I really need to be in the heart of the city?

It is not that I dislike the city. It is just a bit overwhelming when the largest city I have been in over the past eight months was St Johns, NL. People drive faster here. People move faster. I have gotten used to the kindness of drivers in Labrador and Newfoundland. I like the slower pace, and the joy of enjoying each moment.

I want to enjoy my time here and access what is available in this pretty city. I have access to nature the whole time I am here. I can bike and kayak and walk around the two bays. It is right at my door. I don’t even have to take my rig anywhere. That is pretty sweet.

When I first arrived I admit to feeling a bit overwhelmed. One day I would linger at the campground or go over to the bay. The next day I would leave to run errands and remind myself of a city that I called home for thirty years.

Star of India

The first weekend I was here I made my way to the San Diego Bay waterfront. I stayed until sunset to watch the Star of India, The Californian, The Bill of Rights, San Salvador, and the visiting Historic Voyaging Canoe Hōkūleʻa arrive back into the harbor. The Star of India is the Flagship of one of the best Maritime Museums I have ever been to, right here in San Diego. It was the first time in five years that Star unfurled her sails and went to sea. It was fun to gather with others who were there to watch all these ships return from a glorious day on the water.

The heart of the Park.

A few days ago I joined a dear friend for lunch and a walk in Balboa Park. The park is another major attraction in this city. When I could still dance I was usually there at least once a week. All the locals have access to the park. It is not unusual on any given night to walk into buildings hear music and watch all types of dancing being enjoyed by the local San Diegans. Folk Dance, Ballet, Modern, Tap, and Jazz may be in the same building. It is fun to watch people enjoy themselves. During the day it is fun to wander the park and explore its many walkways.

Balboa Park is also home to the world-famous San Diego Zoo. I have not been there yet but I am waiting for another good friend, Cynthia to set a date to meander the zoo.

Even in the middle of the eighth largest city in the USA, I can still find many things to do outdoors. Bird watching? Check. Hiking? Check. Biking? Check. Kayaking? Check. Watching amazing Sunsets? Check.

Sunset on Mission Bay

How else do I plan to enjoy my time here? I haven’t mentioned friends yet. Slowly I am connecting with my long-time friends and some new ones as well. I want to enjoy at least one theater performance and one dance performance while I have access to them. However, I saw a great musical performance in the middle of Newfoundland at a Visitor’s Center in a wildlife refuge in the middle of nowhere. You just never know.

I will return to my seven-month sojourn. I am still editing photos and creating a map and a slide show. Stay Tuned.

Caving in Illinois

Today I am thankful for the wild country and the city. I am thankful for being able to bring the outdoors with me into the heart of a large city. I am thankful for all the big city has to offer. I am thankful for friends to share my urban adventures.

Today I am Thankful.

The Adventure is not Over

Posted on by
4

After driving through the winds from Hurricane Lee, I safely made it to Moncton, New Brunswick last night. Whew. the winds blew yesterday. Along Highway 104 there were swaths of trees that had blown over in the forests along the way. I drive a high-clearance vehicle so I have learned to slow down and take breaks to relax between stretches of driving. Oh, and breathing is essential, long, slow, and steady.

This morning it is a sunny and lovely almost a fall day. I am waiting patiently while EmmyLou is getting serviced. She has been such a good rig this summer. Now it is her turn to get some love and attention.

Viewpoint of Fjord du Saguenay in Quebec Province

I am not finished with Canada. After my rig is serviced and I see a chiropractor (I am getting serviced too) I am going to be spending more time in New Brunswick as I head toward Quebec Province. I am once again going to cross the St. Lawrence Seaway. This time it is a bridge crossing. I am on my way to Sauganay Fjord National Park. I met several people over the past month who told me it is a must-see. I am already here so why not. I am looking forward to fall in the East. The colors had begun to change a little as I was preparing to leave Newfoundland.

I hope you will join me on my fall adventures in eastern Canada. It is fun to have someone to share stories with and share my photos.

I will remain in Quebec Province for a week before I once again head to the United States and begin to consider heading west. I don’t want to winterize my rig, although I know I can.

This morning is just a quick update.

Happy Autumn Equinox!

An Amazon River Adventure is Ready to Begin

Posted on by
6

After traveling to the east coast, visiting friends along the way, and having some exciting adventures I am at the precipice of a part of the spring and summer travel plan. In two days I will be flying to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to meet up with a small group of people to fly to the Amazon River in Brazil.

Wait a minute did I just say I am going to the Amazon, the River, Brazil? Yes, that is exactly what I said. I will be spending twelve days aboard the Dorinha. I will be traveling with Amazonia Expeditions on a privately arranged trip. Some of the passengers I know and some I will get to know shortly. In two days.

Two to three times each day we leave our home boat and explore different areas in skiffs or canoes. The flora and fauna are all new. Everything will be exciting and different and new. That is the fun of international travel.

Here are some interesting facts about this mighty river.

  • The Amazon River Once Flowed in the Opposite Direction Between 65 and 145 million years ago, the Amazon River flowed towards the Pacific Ocean, in the opposite direction it flows today. Where the Amazon River’s mouth sits today, there was once a highland that allowed for this westerly flow. The rise of the Andes Mountains in the west forced the Amazon River to reverse course.
  • It’s the Largest River in the World by Volume. The Amazon River has the largest volume of freshwater of any river in the world. The River releases around 200,000 liters of freshwater into the ocean every second. Together, this freshwater flow accounts for nearly 20% of all river water that enters the sea.
  • It is the Second Longest River on Earth. At about 4,000 miles long, the Amazon River is the second-longest river in the world. The Amazon’s impressive length is exceeded by the 4,132-mile-long Nile River.
  • It’s Home to the Amazon River Dolphin, also known as the pink river dolphin, and is one of just four species of “true” river dolphins.
  • It’s Named After a Greek Myth. According to Greek mythology, the “Amazons” were a group of nomadic female warriors that roamed around the Black Sea.
  • A Family Canoed to the Amazon River from Canada. In 1980, Don Starkell and his two sons, Dana and Jeff, left Winnipeg on a canoe towards the Amazon River. Jeff abandoned the trip when they reached Mexico, but Don and Dana ventured on. Nearly two years later, the father-son duo reached the Amazon. By the end of the trip, they had canoed over 12,000 miles.
  • It Has Over 100 Dams 
  • The Amazon River has no Bridges. All 10 million people who live on the banks of the Amazon River can only cross the freshwater flow by boat. The lack of bridges is due, in part, to the seasonal changes in the Amazon River bed. During the rainy season, the Amazon River can rise over 30 feet, tripling the width of the River in some places.
  • It Crosses Through Four Countries. The Amazon River passes through Brazil, Columbia, Peru, and Venezuela, with Brazil holding by far the largest portion of the River.  
  • It’s Where 40% of All Water in South America Ends Up. The Amazon River’s height rises substantially in the rainy season because around 40% of all of South America’s water ends up in the River.

This river will be my home for 12 days. I am excited and a bit anxious all at the same time. Excited most people can understand. Why anxious? I love to travel. It was my job for thirteen years. I was an International Tour Manager, taking people on tours to Mexico, the Panama Canal, and throughout the United States and Canada.

The unknown makes me a bit anxious. Have I packed the right things? Are my flights all status quo? What if I miss the boat? (that is almost guaranteed not to happen on this trip. What if I get sick? What will travel post Covid be like? What if other members of the group don’t like me? What if, What if, What if….????

I am thankful that I can find things to keep myself busy. It helps keep the anxiousness at bay. I breathe often, deep and slow and relaxing. I take the kayak out. I go on a bike ride. Tonight I went over to the dam and watched a female duck try to convince the last of the babies to come up over the dam. It didn’t work but it was entertaining to watch. Diversion helps get rid of being anxious.

Above the Dam
Below the Dam

Monday I check my list. I make sure that everything is ready to go – I am ready to go and my stuff is ready to travel with me.

And then…I take a deep breath and head off into the unknown.

Oh No, The Check Engine Light is On!!!

Posted on by
2

One thing that, I believe, every camper rues is when the “check engine” light lights up on the dashboard. What? Why is this happening? Oh no, can I make it somewhere to have it fixed? Oh no, what about my current trip? Oh no!!!

After spending two relaxing and fun weeks with friends in Florida, the check engine light lit up as we traveled north to another hot spring, to camp, bike, and kayak. OH NO! What to do?

  • Breathe, I must first and foremost remember to take a few deep breaths and relax. Life is not over as I know it and it will work out.
  • Coachnet is my Roadside Assist. After breathing I called them and once they made sure I was somewhere safe they began to help me figure out the best course of action. In this case, they gave me some excellent information. If the check engine light is solid yellow, I can drive on it and it will not automatically go into limp mode after so many starts. Well, that is good to know. They also would call me back the following morning to tell me who they found to look at the rig. Thank you Mercedes Benz of Jacksonville. Whew.
  • Call my friends and tell them I am delayed due to all of the above. It is good to know that they would have come back to help me out if I had needed assistance. It helps to know someone has my back.
  • Go to Auto Zone and ask them to check the codes. Did you know they do that for free? I did not know this. Now I do.
  • Notify my sister, who I would be seeing at the end of the camping week, that there is a glitch in the plans. Ruth was willing to come to pick me up in Jacksonville if necessary. That is very helpful and it is what family does for each other.
  • Drive carefully to the campground and park EmmyLou for the five days we are there.
  • Have fun with my friends.
  • Breathe.

Today, Monday I am at Mercedes Benz waiting patiently. The diagnosis? I need to replace the particulate filter. Don’t ask me too much about this. I do know it is part of the emissions and because it is under an extended warranty, I do not have to pay for it, Yay!!!

Mercedes treats its customers very well. This particular service center has a complimentary breakfast and lunch cafe. How cool is that? After I checked in I had a made-to-order omelet and began to wait. The staff here is helpful and knowledgeable. I am in good hands.

Here I am, breathing and writing and waiting. I will be out of Mercedes in a few hours and continue on my way north. I am grateful that EmmyLou is in good hands. I am thankful it is an easy fix.

I am overly thankful for Missy and Dan and my sister, Ruth and Joe, who were so helpful and supportive. I am also thankful for Tissa and Ed (extended family), who let me park my rig in their driveway for the weekend. It is so good to have so many people that love me and support me.

Today I am thankful.