Category Archives: Inspiration & Encouragement

Discover the Hidden Gem of Point Roberts, WA

Posted on by
Reply

Just south of Vancouver BC is a point of land known as Point Roberts. Point Roberts is surrounded on three sides by water. It is bordered by Canada to the north. It is part of Washington state and the United States. The only way to get there is by car crossing the International Border or by private plane or boat.

On a sunny early summer morning I decided to visit Point Roberts. I drove from Richmond (south of Vancouver). I crossed the International Border and spent a late morning and afternoon touring this unique area of the United States.

Point Roberts was created in the mid-19th century. At that time, the United Kingdom and the United States settled the Pacific Northwest American-Canadian border dispute. They resolved the issue with the Oregon Treaty. The two parties agreed that the 49th parallel would define The boundary between their respective territories. The small area that incorporates Point Roberts is south of the 49th parallel.

During the 1858 Fraser gold rush, prospectors from Victoria, BC attempted to avoid tax collection. They briefly settled Point Roberts. Their settlement was called Robert’s Town. It consisted of six wooden buildings, including a store and saloon. It lasted less than a year.

In 1949, there was talk about Point Roberts seceding from the U.S. and joining Canada. In 1973, a drought that caused the wells to run dry created tensions between Point Roberts’s U.S. and Canadian residents. The Americans threatened to cut off the Canadian residents’ water supply. They also hung up signs saying “Canadians Go Home.” This was unless the Canadian municipality of Delta agreed to supply water. An agreement was signed on August 28, 1987. It requires the Point Roberts Water District to buy raw water each year.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Point Roberts was acclaimed as the “safest place” for avoiding coronavirus. This was due to its isolation from the mainland United States and Canada. The very low case numbers also contributed to this reputation. Limited access to the rest of the United States and Canada was a factor. Additionally, border closures into Canada kept the case numbers very low.

As the pandemic worsened in both countries. In 2020, a study found that Point Roberts had lost 80 percent of its business. It also lost hundreds of seasonal residents. This was a result of the pandemic and border shutdown. The area was described as a “ghost town” by the local chamber of commerce director. It had no confirmed cases of COVID-19 as of September 2020.

The Port of Bellingham set up a temporary ferry in August 2020. It connected Point Roberts to the mainland. The Canadian government waived its mandatory COVID testing requirements for Point Roberts residents in 2021. The decision followed negotiations with Washington state. The border was fully reopened for non-essential travel in August 2021 and the ferry service ceased the same month.

The City of Delta installed a chain-link fence at the end of English Bluff Road in 2025. This was done to deter accidental crossings. An elderly man accidentally walked into Point Roberts. The fence was poorly received by local residents and at least one Delta council member demanded its removal.

The Marina

Approximately 1300 people live in the 5 square mile area of Point Roberts. The big attraction is the nature and the wildlife. Point Roberts has it all. The community has a golf course, a marina and two restaurants.There are four parks and coastal beaches to explore.

Lighthouse Marine Park is a 21-acre park on the Salish Sea and my first stop. Park amenities include a boardwalk, picnic areas,playground, trails, boat launch, and 30 campsites for weekend of camping. I chose to walk the beach trail to gaze out on the water. I hoped for whales but a seal was all I saw.

Mt Baker from Lighthouse Park

On a beautiful day I saw Mt Baker on the mainland, in Washington State. The beaches are like the beaches in Washington, Plenty of drift wood was scattered along the beach. The beaches are rocky and wild.

Monumet Park

This park is known for “Border Marker Number One”. It is the western most border marker between the U.S. and Canada. The park is a canopied forest of cedar and fir trees.

Lily Point Marine Reserve Park

Lily Point Marine Reserve spans 275 acres of forested upland and beaches. It is known for its towering sandstone bluffs. When beach-side, pilings can be seen running out into Boundary Bay. These pilings are remains from the Alaska Packers Association cannery. This cannery once operated here in the late 1800s.

Maple Beach

This beach is a popular spot for beach combing and swimming. It sits on the northeastern corner of Point Roberts. It is known for its sandy beaches and tidelands. At low-tide the tidelands stretch for a mile or more.

After a morning and early afternoon exploring I stopped for lunch at Kiniski’s Reef Tavern. The food was good and the view from outdoor seating was exceptional as I looked out over the Salish Sea.

Somewhere along my travels I read about Ollie-Otter’s Baker Box. I decided I needed to go find this interesting local landmark. There is a cottage bakery there Ollie-Otter’s Bakery is in a cottage behind the bakers box on the curb side. There were wonderful goodies waiting to be bought.

The Hungry Hound Barkary had a small box next to the street side bake box. This business is owned by Ollie Friedman. Ollie may have some growing to do but he has big dreams.

This is what is written on the sign in the photo.

“Hi I am Ollie. I own the Hungry Hound Barkary. Yep I’m 11 but I have BIG dreams. Someday I want to be an astronaut and work for NASA. To make that happen I need coding classes. So to raise money I’m taking over the dog treat business. Thanks for stopping and supporting my dream. I hope your pup enjoys the retreats.”

If you would like to support Ollie’s Dreams here is the link to his Go Fund Me Page. Ollie’s Path to NASA. I believe, much like my husband did, that it is important to support these young people no matter their dreams.

After a lovely morning and afternoon, I approached the International Border. I crossed back into Canada for a few more nights. Before I made my way back to the United States.

I enjoy exploring the unknown. I definitely would return to Point Roberts again. I could easily see camping there and taking a leisurely tour of the area.

I am grateful for my friends. They guide me to unusual places. This year I can add Point Roberts to places that are unique.

Today, as every Day I am Thankful.

.

.

Exploring the Majestic Coast Redwoods

Posted on by
1

“In the 1960’s there was a conflict in California between the lumber industry and citizens who wanted to protect redwood forests. Reagan, then governor of the state, took the position that large redwood forests were not necessary; at one meeting he said, “If you’ve seen one redwood tree, you’ve seen them all.” Ronald Regan

“I think, too, that we’ve got to recognize that where the preservation of a natural resource like the redwoods is concerned, that there is a common sense limit. I mean, if you’ve looked at a hundred thousand acres or so of trees — you know, a tree is a tree, how many more do you need to look at?” Ronald Regan

A Tree is not just a Tree. I believe the answer to the above question is simple. How many more trees do we need to look at? All of Them.

I spent twenty four hours in the Redwoods of Northern California. I drove The Avenue of the Giants, an alternate route to the 101. This is the most scenic drive among the Coast Redwoods. It has been called the finest forest drive in the world. For thirty one miles I drove through grove after grove of the coast redwoods.

Each time I entered another grove, I felt as if I was entering a spiritual place. Time slowed down. My breath got deeper and slower and I relaxed. These massive trees called out to me to relax, stop and listen. My driving slowed down. I pulled off the road often to explore, to sit quietly and breathe.

I camped for a night at Hidden Springs Campground in the heart of the Redwoods. The trees are so tall the tops of them looked so far away. They average 350 feet high. It was quiet and still and I slept well among them.

From my campground I hiked down to the South Fork of the Eel River. As I walked through this Redwood Forest the trees groaned in the wind. I felt that they were talking, supporting and conversing with each other. The forest was soft and quiet. Even though it was warm out, among the trees it was cool walking in the shadows. I was forest bathing.

The Redwood roots are very shallow, often only five or six feet deep. But they make up for it in width, sometimes extending up to one hundred feet from the trunk. They thrive in thick groves, where the roots can intertwine and even fuse together. Working together allows them as a community to withstand wind and flooding. They hold hands to survive as individuals and as a community. Without this interlocking of roots many would fall over in the winds.

Often we are taught to stand on our own, to do things independently. These trees remind me that as a community, we can support and help each other. Together, we develop community strength that can withstand much more than being on one’s own. All of us can become stronger when we have support of others.

I am glad that I took the time to venture into the Coast Redwoods. I am glad that I took time to slow down and explore these mighty groves of trees. I love being engulfed by nature. There are such value in lessons that nature imparts to us. I am thankful for these mighty places.

Capturing Magic Moments in Nature

Posted on by
2

I have earlier written about magic moments in time, small and large. Some moments are so small and wee, they get overlooked. Then, there are other moments that are moments to pay attention to, to sit up, to notice and share.

Years ago, I went on one of my first trips abroad. I traveled with a friend, Kat for three months to southeast Asia. There were moments on that trip that reminded me of National Geographic , The Smithsonian and other magazines. I started to call them my National Geographic moments.

Wat Suwan Kuha

We traveled off the west coast of Thailand by boat to see the largest reclining Buddha in the country. It was in a cave out in the water. As we walked into the cave I noticed a large white sheet. It extended from high into the cave to the floor. Near it was a rope ladder that disappeared into the upper reaches of the cave. We saw people high in the cave. I said to Kat, jokingly, National Geographic is up there filming.

When I was back home I saw a copy of the latest addition of National Geographic. There was an article about the Thai men climbing high into the cave to collect nests for Birds Nest Soup. It was a National Geographic Moment. And I was there.

There were so many other moments like the above one on that three month journey.

Over my lifetime I have experienced many more moments that bring back instant memories.

Helliwell Provincial Park

Two days ago I was visiting Hornby Island in Vancouver BC. I took a hike in Helliwell Provincial Park. This was a wonderful hike, through forest to the ocean and a hike along the cliffs.

At one point I decided to stop and enjoy the view out across the water. Far out in the water, I noticed something. I thought it was a seal making its way to a spit of land. Did I have my binoculars with me? No. Did I have my long lens with me? No. The small spot disappeared and then became visible again.

A Borrowed Photo from the Internet. This is what I saw from a distance. Thank you Julia Tanncer (photographer)

As it approached the spit of land it became clear to me that it was no seal or sea lion. An eagle appeared out of the water dragging what I can only guess was a fish in its talons. It dragged the fish up on land and slowly dragged its catch higher onto the spit. I imagine it had to dry off before it would even try to fly. Somewhere nearby was another eagle. They were calling to each other.

Reaching Dry Land
A Pic of the Fish
Finally Airborn

Even without binoculars I felt for that moment in time, magic had come alive. It definitely was a National Geographic Moment. I never expected to see an event like this, even from a distance. It was an honor to be there to watch nature up close (kind of) and personal.

Moments like this make me wish that someone had been with me. We would have discussed what we were seeing. We would have been amazed together. It would have been fun to have shared this with another person. And maybe between the two of us we would have had a long lens or binoculars. Sigh.

Alone or with someone else these moments are so magical. It takes me out of thinking and acting and puts me in the here and now. For a moment everything else stops. It allows me to absorb fully what I am seeing. It can easily take my breath away. And just for a moment I am there.

Have you ever had one of these moments? Please feel free to share. I would enjoy hearing the magic of small or big moments in time.

Today I am thankful for the majesty of nature. I am grateful for stopping to se amazing things happen before my eyes. Today I am thankful for magic in my life.

Today I am thankful.

Memorable Moments in Hawaii: A Two-Month Journey

Posted on by
Reply

Do you know how long it takes to edit a slide show? It seems like forever, but I finished the video this morning. Two months may as well have been two years. I love looking at this slide show because being in Hawaii for that long was magical. Most people go for a week or two. Now, I wish I had stayed longer.

For those of you who don’t know me well, I hate to make plans. I had to plan for two months and more (what would I do on my return?). Finally, I sat down with many photos and created a slide show of my two months in the Fiftieth state.

What was special about my time there?

  • Soft and Gentle Trade Winds Keeping Me Cool Twenty-Four Hours a Day.
  • Green and Lush, Everywhere I Looked.
  • Birds I Have Never Seen Before.
  • Big, Really Big Waves.
    • Sunsets, Golden Glowing & Sunset Watchers. It is a Passion.
    • Visiting With Friends. They Let Me See Their Hawaii
    • Flowers, More Than I Could Begin to Describe. What Were They?
    • Orchids
    • Volcanos That Chose Not to Errupt When I Was There.
    • Kind and Wonderful People Everywhere I went.
    • Pineapples.
    • Shaved Ice.
    • Octopus and Other Colorful Fish. Snorkeling in the Beautiful Blue Hawaiian Water.
    • Green Sea Turtles Deep Sleeping on the Beach.
    • Mojitos and Lava Flow.

The list could go on, but I don’t want to bore you. Maybe you could go to Hawaii sometime and experience another amazing place on our planet. Then, you will find your own memories and magic moments.

Enjoy the slide show. It is a bit long. Just remember, I am a photographer. It is hard to eliminate too many photos when there was so much to see and do.

Today, I am thankful for the adventures in my life and for your willingness to join me in my experiences.

Today and every day, I am Thankful.

A Healing Time

Posted on by
4

On a warm winter morning in Alamos, Mexico I was practicing yoga with a friend. We were talking occasionally as we stretched and meditated and woke our bodies up. I told her that everything that I do helps me heal.

Since Jim, my husband and friend died, on October 17, 2012, I have experienced so many emotions and states of being. It wasn’t until this morning that I put my life, since his death, into words. I am healing. When I feel joy, I am healing. When I feel grief, I am healing. When I experience anger I am healing. Laughing-healing, Crying-healing, Sharing a comfortable time with friends or strangers-healing. This is my life. Healing means growth. I am growing with each moment that passes. I am working my way towards a wholeness that I lost with loss and grief. Little moments in time guide me toward this state of being.

This also is a physical state. I treat my body well-healing, I don’t treat my body well-I am healing, Dancing-healing, Walking-healing, Cycling-healing, and Spending a day resting-healing. Physically, Mentally, Spiritually, and Emotionally I am always healing. Even when I don’t know it I am healing toward wholeness and becoming more.

Healing is a lifelong project. Not only am I healing from grief. I am healing from all those other wounds that I have experienced as a part of growing in years and knowledge. Healing is my responsibility and I can’t expect to heal unless I try to unravel the wounds both consciously and subconsciously.

With this knowledge today I have felt vulnerable, and strong, and…everything. Today I have been resting or taking a Siesta. As this knowledge is being absorbed I needed time to rest so I can absorb it in every aspect.

I will continue to walk with strength, stumble, and pick myself up to continue to move toward a wholeness I have not experienced before. Healing, like grief, is ongoing. As I acknowledge this it frees me up to be more of everything.

Today I am thankful for this moment of awareness. Today I am thankful for healing, myself, others and the world. Today I am thankful.

Those Tiny Blessings & Magic Moments

Posted on by
4

Happy New Year. It has been another odd and interesting year. Already I hear people saying, “Whew I am glad 2021 is over”. There are reasons that we might want to see this year go and welcome another year to try again.

It is so easy to reflect on the negative things that happened over the last twelve months, they were so in your face. I wonder how I might reflect on the year that has ended if I took a moment to remember some of the small moments of magic that helped 2021 not look so bad after all.

  • Kayaking on the North Fork of the Payette River, Idaho, early in the morning and seeing a mother moose and her baby, wading through the shallows. No one else around just me. Just me and nature.
  • Hundreds of snow geese flying around and over my rig. It was so amazing to hear their wings and feel a bit of the wind they created as they flew.
  • Seeing the first sunset from Jim’s and Sandy’s home, where I house sat on Whidbey Island. After a month I thought I would not have to take any more photos of sunsets and then I would turn around and there was another sunset that required another photo.
  • Long walk on the beaches. One day I watched a large flock of seagulls diving in to the water over and over again as they fished in a school of fish.
  • One day, one walk on a beach on the west side of Whidbey Island I almost walked right into an eagle who was standing on the beach. I was looking at birds out in the water and didn’t see him right in front of me.
  • Flowers, oh the iris, daffodils that transitioned through to the season of lilacs, rhododendrons, dhalias and more. It has been many years where I have seen so many wonderful flowers.
  • My friendship with a little brown bird, a song sparrow, that lasted for six months. He discoved me one day in the spring when I was playing a sound on one of bird apps, trying to identify his song. He would come every day and sit on my ankle, knee, arm and eventually made his way to my shoulder and head. He provided me with hours of entertainment and outright joy. As the seasons progressed towards fall, I saw him less. Every few days he would show up in the yard and we would greet each other like long lost friends. I am glad he still has his wild bird life and I am so grateful for his adventure into my life. I will never look at a little brown bird the same again

Click on this photo of my brown birdy and see him on my Head.

  • Friends, I am blessed with such wonderful friends. Thanks to vaccines and masks and cautiousness, I was able to see some of my friends in person. For a long weekend this July seven of us, all owning Roadtreks, gathered at a State Park along the Oregon coast to visit and hike and reconnect. It was a delight.
  • Some of my friends appeared on my doorstep while i was house sitting on Whidbey Island. It was a welcomed reprieve from spending so much time alone. I treasure my friends.
  • I had neighbors on Whidbey Island, Robyn and Tom who quickly became friends. I enjoyed being invited to small gatherings at their place. I also joined them for a movie night at a local theater in Langley. Tom was my go to person for anything I needed help with. I am grateful for my connection with them.
  • I visited my friend Pat on San Juan Island. She and I are both photographers. One day we discovered the foxes of the island. It was so exciting to see them and share that moment with someone who was as excited as I was.
  • Amazing Boondockers Welcome campsites in the Phoenix area. I met such lovely people and the sites were lovely to camp in.

Now I know I could go on yet I think you get the idea. There was a lot of magic out there in 2021. I don’t think any of us had to look far to see it. We just had to acknowledge it when it showed up.

What were your magic moments and tiny blessings from this past year? Take a moment and reflect back, I can almost guarantee you will find at least one moment that enriched and changed your life.

Today at the start of the New Year, I am glad to have had a chance to review the moments from 2021 that make me smile, knowing I have changed and grown because of them.

I am thankful for this past year and with excitement and wonder, I am moving into this New Year waiting to see how it will unfold.

Another Year

Posted on by
2

Fall represents a time of coming in. The harvests are in and hopefully, people are celebrating a bounty. The daylight hours shorten. It is a time of coming in, physically inside, inside the heart, inside the mind.

When October arrives I begin to brace myself for the journey through Jim’s birthday, October tenth. Jim (my husband) died in October 2012. The day before his birthday was his last hospital admission. Then my birthday arrives, October sixteenth. October seventeenth in the early evening hours, my husband of twenty-one years died. On November seventeenth we took his ashes to sea on a glorious San Diego morning.

Each year I wonder what this period of time will look like. Will I want to be with others? Will I want to be alone? Will I celebrate my birthday? It took me two years after his death to celebrate my sixtieth birthday. Will I be sad or grateful for this time in my life?

This year I found myself wanting to be alone and settle with my heart. It was a quiet day on Whidbey Island, where I was house sitting. I decided I really did not want to take phone calls. I was in a good and quiet place and I wanted to savor that time and the contentment I felt.

I still have a small amount of Jim’s ashes, ready to be given to the Rocky Mountains, when I get there. Three weeks before my house sitting gig was finished on Whidbey Island, I took two teaspoons of the ashes to Callahan Firehouse Glass in the town of Langley and had a memorial pendant made. I did not want a pendant for my neck, I wanted something larger so he could ride on the mirror in my rig. I gave them my order and told the artist to be creative.

Just before I left Langley I picked up the pendant. The woman who creates this artwork was at the store to give me the pendant. She told me that she does ceremonies around each pendant she creates. She spoke with Jim while blowing the glass. And remembered the stories I had told to the woman who had taken my order.

The pendant is beautiful. The blues in it match his eyes(light blue) and his Modern Morgan Kilt(darker blue). The white that sparkles through are his ashes. Now Jim gets to see my world. When the sun hits it just right there is a diamond flare of light that hits the bottom or top of the glass. I think it is Jim winking at me.

This feels like another step in the continuation of moving forward and embracing my life. This year there was a settling in, a feeling of comfort within myself that has not been there since he left.

And, speaking of Jim…Today is Giving Tuesday. When Jim died, with the help of Grossmont College where he worked most of his adult life, I created a scholarship in his name, the Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship. These scholarships help students afford to attend college and create careers for themselves. I have met a few of the students and each semester the college sends me a letter that the student who was awarded the scholarship writes. When I read these essays it gives me hope for the future no matter what the age of the student

If you would like to donate to Jim’s Scholarship today or any time please do so. Here is the link to the Change Makers site. Change Makers are students that achieve if supported. If you donate today the scholarship will receive double the amount of your donation. I already did my yearly donation earlier in the day. In the memo section type in Jim Fenningham Memorial Scholarship so that the donation will be directed to the appropriate area. It is a good time to donate. Remember that tax season is right around the corner.

I am feeling grateful for another year. I am glad that I allow myself to adventure into my feelings, good or bad. Each year I see my own growth and am thankful. I am thankful for the time I had with Jim. I am thankful that I am still here and growing. Today is a good day.

The Continuing Saga of the Little Brown Bird

Posted on by
4

I left Whidbey Island in the middle of June shortly after Sandy and Jim arrived home. The night before I left I introduced them to my little song sparrow. By the end of daylight, it was sitting on Jim’s head and singing. I felt I left this bird in good hands.

Throughout the month that Sandy and Jim were home the relationship with this song sparrow continued. Sandy told me that as the time came closer to them leaving for their next campground hosting job they began to dissociate from him as they were concerned about how he would get along when the house was empty.

Robyn and Tom, the next-door neighbors, said they saw this charmer once about a week after the owners had left for their next hosting job in Yellowstone National Park. Then the bird was on his own.

I returned to Whidbey the first week of August. I arrived late in the afternoon, put my things down, and went out to the deck to see if a little brown sparrow was still about. Sure enough, just like that, there he was, singing and chitting just I like I had never left. I was so happy to see my bird. I felt like I was greeting a good friend.

Things were different between me and this sweet little bird. He no longer sat on my head and was often more comfortable sitting on the post near me and chitting rather than singing. One day I noticed he had only one tail feather. The next day both were gone. I was worried. I researched song sparrows and molting online. Sure enough, he was molting. It took very little time before the new tail feathers appeared and grew. Sparrows and most birds molt twice a year, once in the spring and again in the fall.

His colors are more muted now and not the orangey-brown of springtime. He sings less often. Some days I see him once early in the day and not again. Other days, if I had been out and about I might not see him at all. Two Saturdays ago, my friend Melissa was visiting. He came into the bushes near where we were sitting and chatted to us for quite some time. When I tried to approach him he flew away. Sigh

No Tail Feathers

The next morning I went out on the deck to find him and welcome him for a visit. He was not there. It felt different. He had left. Then I noticed there were no sparrows around at all. The White-Crowned sparrows had disappeared. All the sparrows were gone. The Chickadees, Nut Hatches, Finches, and other birds were there and plentiful but not a sparrow in sight. What had happened?

Do sparrows migrate and where do they go? I put a post on Facebook to the Birders in the Northwest region and discovered sparrows migrate to Texas and southern climates for the winter. I assumed my bird friend was on his way south to stay warm and find plenty of food and maybe a mate.

Five days later he returned along with three other song sparrows. I was still in bed when I heard a familiar song out in the back and there he was along with his buddies. My heart was glad. I was immediately up and down the stairs to welcome him back. He remains a bit more distant. His singing has returned and it was a delight to welcome my sweet little birdy friend back to my Whidbey Island life. I am told that when they molt they disappear into the bushes.

The seasons are beginning to hint at change. I know he must go. I am glad that I have let him be a bird. I have not hand-fed him or encouraged him to be anything else other than a little wild bird who has welcomed me into his circle. One time I found a large dead moth and presented it to him as a gift. I have never seen him so excited. He looked down onto the bench where I had laid it. He snatched it up and disappeared into the brush to enjoy a meal.

I don’t know how long he will be here. I see less and less of him now. Often I will hear him early in the morning. I am immediately up and outside to say hello. Some days he is not here at all. When he does come it is usually early in the day.

I am glad I have had some practice at his not being here. It is a bit hard to admit that I grieved for this little bird when he disappeared for those five days. Next time I hope I will buck it up and wish him well and send him on his way. However, I have to remember if this little bird was human I would feel the grief of loss just like when a friend moves away or stops communicating.

By allowing me into the circle of his life he has become more than just another little brown bird. He has become my friend. I feel blessed to have been chosen by this little bird. I have learned a lot about myself and life through this unique and special friendship. There is an unspoken yet very recognizable responsibility when one becomes friends with another. It is important to nurture these friendships, no matter how long they may be in one’s life. The value of friendship is what makes a being unique and special in my heart.

I have spent a lot of time outside and have had time to observe and breathe nature. Many birds come to the feeders, each one is unique. I have witnessed the change of seasons from early spring into fall. The circle of seasons in the yard is special to be a part of. The birds have gone from their spring glory of color to more muted colors. They sing less now. The hummingbirds disappeared for about two weeks while nurturing their young before they returned to the feeders again. My sparrow has grown from a young bird into full maturity. Often he sings for the joy of it, but it is also a way to get the girls to notice. As these little birds come to the feeders I have allowed them to recognize and trust a safe environment. None of them except one little brown song sparrow allowed me to become more intimately involved in their natural life.

I will treasure this moment of time in my life. This wee little bird crept into my heart and opened it to experience the joy of friendship in this somewhat lonesome time. (Covid) It has been a joyous and welcome respite.

Oh yes, truly, today and every day I am so grateful for moments in time that awaken my heart. Today and all days to come I am thankful and so grateful for this sweet little Song Sparrow who happens to be my friend.

A New Month-Moving Forward

Posted on by
2

December third will mark a month since Elsie took off. There have been sightings. I have answered every one. I have met some very nice people and seen some sweet kitties, yet all of them are not my cat. Sigh. I have become intimately familiar with the shelters in the county and the numerous web sites that help people find their animals. Cats and dogs go missing and so do parakeets, bunnies, geese, and pigs.

I know you all wish me well. I know that all those good thoughts and prayers are being sent out to support her return and to support me. I want you to continue to do this, yet what I need now is to not dwell on it so much. The longer she is gone the less is the likely-hood of her return. I need to get my life organized as a truly solo person. Could I ask you to continue to pray for her and me without letting me know with each blog post or a facebook post? Each time I see that someone is praying for her safe return or to support me, it puts me into a sad place and I need to go there less. I need to look ahead while hoping for her safe return.

I am staying in San Diego for another month at least. I still have doctors and dentists appointments to contend with. Most of them are complete and I still have some major decisions ahead. Yep, that is correct, the rest of my life is moving forward, just minus my little kitty.

Janet & Pat

Just before the Thanksgiving holiday, I was given a surprise visit by a fellow Roadtreking friend. Pat lives on the San Juan Islands off of Washington State. She is on a several month drive-about of the west visiting family and friends. Knowing that she would be close, she decided to come and give me a pick-me-up and a diversion. It was delightful to see her and her two pups. We talked and caught up and broke bread together. I am glad she thought enough of me to rescue me from a serious case of the doldrums. It was a good couple of days.

I successfully made it through Thanksgiving. I had some interesting offers come in for my plea not to be alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had to say no to some, as they were not local and I have made a commitment to myself and Elsie to give her two months.

I actually had three Thanksgiving dinners. Santee Lakes, where I am camped, had a potluck on Wednesday night.

On Thursday I went to dinner at my friend and one of the best yoga instructors around, Lisa’s home. Along with 19 others, I celebrated in an intimate delightful setting. We feasted well. The food and the company were warm and receptive. I am glad I stretched myself a bit and enjoyed this holiday with others. Thank you, Lisa.

Yesterday saw my third helping of turkey served at a good friend’s house here in San Diego. Cynthia and Ward had a full dinner with all the fixings. Dinner was followed by a movie and pumpkin pie. Their home is always welcoming and open to me. I am glad Cynthia and Ward are friends.

Christmas is next. I am going to remember to breath my way through this holiday. I gave up giving presents many years ago. That took a lot of stress off my plate right away. No more late-night trips to the stores so I could go shopping when there was not a hoard of people around. No more calling my family to ask what they wanted for Christmas and then buying them gift cards. All of this has allowed me to breath more and stress less.

It is so much more joyful for me, during this month, to take time to enjoy people’s company. Going on a hike or walk, strolling along the waterfront, enjoying a good meal and conversation is a gift I can really enjoy. Would you care to join me? It would be delightful to catch up with close friends, fellow tour guides and acquaintances. Let’s take a walk or get a cup of coffee. I am open to unique suggestions as well.

And for all of you who are further away, I will carry you in my mind and heart. That is sometimes the closest that one can get. I look forward to future visits to those far away places.

Today I am thankful. This month I am thankful for friends and family, for those, I have met and for those, I will meet. Always, I am thankful to breath.

 

 

 

Breathe

Posted on by
5

This time of the year is always a bit difficult for me. I arrive back in San Diego to get all my medical and dental completed for the upcoming year.

Dr appointments loom or have already been finished. My annual mammogram is complete. Although it has been almost ten years since my diagnosis of breast cancer, this time of the year I notice I become slightly anxious as I await the results of the mammography. I have about ten days to go before the results are in.

This year, 2019, is a bit more difficult. I have surgery on Friday to remove the other half of my thyroid. I have cancer. I have papillary thyroid cancer. My left thyroid will be removed to prepare me for the radioactive iodine treatment that will seek out any thyroid tissue that is left anywhere in my body.

Today I had my pre-op appointment with my surgeon. Dr. Ressa has followed me through breast cancer treatment and now the thyroid. These visits are never easy for me. I have a lot of questions. Being a nurse makes it harder because I read a lot. Being a one-time cancer survivor increases the number of questions and concerns as well. Having had almost six months to anticipate this coming Friday has allowed me to evaluate and add more questions in my mind.

Here is what has not helped me while waiting to have this surgery.

  • I have heard the good stories and the bad. It does not help me to hear that this is a “good” kind of cancer to have. There is no “good” cancer!
  • It is good to hear positive outcome stories, it truly is, however, I would encourage those who say this not to devalue my situation. At present I am anxious and a bit worried.
  • Surgery is surgery and not to be taken lightly. I am not taking it lightly and I would like others to not brush it off either.
  • Don’t question if I caused this cancer. Don’t tell me that if I had done something different I wouldn’t have cancer. It seems that only people who have not been challenged with this diagnosis say these things.

The bottom line? I have cancer. That statement alone is overwhelming and a bit lonely. How is it lonely? I have found since Jim died, I have no one to talk to daily about things that make me happy or things that concern or frighten or discourage me. I miss having that daily person to check in with and support me no matter what. Even when I might have done something stupid or said something out of character, Jim was there to give me a hug or counsel me through indecision and worry and often lead me in the right direction to correct wrongs.

It is hard for me to do this for myself. I can, it is just harder. In my current lifestyle, I find I have to push myself to interact with others. Often the campgrounds are full of air-conditioned RVs. When these hot Santa Ana days are upon us, very few people come outside or interact with their neighbors. I don’t blame them. It is “hot” in San Diego county these days.

Joining cancer support groups sounds like a good idea. I have joined a few thyroid support groups on Facebook. They are filled with nice, mostly women. Here is the deal with these sites. The women who post are having issues pre or post-surgery. I now avoid them as surgery looms nearer, they scare the heck out of me. I find I am overwhelmed on these sites. I feel sorry and sad for these people who are going through difficulties and I worry about me and my outcome. I have taken a hiatus from these groups until I am post-op.

When things like this arise, I miss my family. I have two sisters and two nieces that live over two thousand miles away. Their lives are busy. When things like this come into my life, even if I recognize it is complicated, I would love to have them show up on my doorstep and take over for a week or two. As a rational adult, I recognize this is not possible, yet the little girl in me still wishes that one of them would show up anyway.

This is where friends have stepped forward to help me out over the next few weeks.

 

Miss Elsie the Cat

  • My friend, Nancy, is taking Miss Elsie the Cat into her home and life. She loves kitties and Elsie has always really liked her. It is a good fit.
  • Cynthia and Ward are taking me into their home for the weekend post-surgery. When I think of this offer it brings tears of gratitude and caring to my eyes and heart. I am so thankful for their caring and support. With their support and encouragement, I will be on the road to recovery and dancing quickly. (They are members of the Scottish Dance community in San Diego).
  • Phyllis is my go-to friend. She will help in any way that I will let her. After traveling for two months in Africa we still remain good friends. That is an accomplishment in itself.
  • All my friends near and far will be loving and supporting me. I feel so fortunate to be loved by so many.

Now I need to take a deep breath, push worries aside, walk into Friday with positive thoughts for the best of outcomes. I need a mantra for this. So far the only one I have come up with is “breath”. The other mantra I have had for years is “You are a good and caring person and worthy of being loved”. I often say this to myself as I look in the mirror morning and night. Now I say Breath.

Asking for thoughts and prayers is a statement that has been degraded over time. There have been too many situations over recent years that have made me hesitate to ask people for this. Instead, I will ask you to send a breath my way on Friday filled with whatever you want to fill it with. It will help me walk into a current unknown future. I have no doubt that I will feel the love and support.

Moving forward, one step at a time.